I meet with my attorney on Thursday

[montereybride]

I told H a little over four weeks ago that I was done and he had me served a week ago.

He's pulled some bullshit with our finances/bank account that I don't want to get into. Plus the crap with my rings that was pretty quickly resolved after I threatened to file a stolen property report - the rings are now at a friend's house and all my other nice jewelry is put away.

My stomach is in knots and I'm grinding my teeth. A LOT.

I had someone tell me "Well, this is what you wanted."

No. No it's not. I didn't want this. Just because I am the one who made the choice to take that step to end what we both knew was over, doesn't mean this is what I wanted.  

[karmasabiotch]

Tell the person who told you that you were the one that wanted this to fuck off.

[spitforspat]

That person can eat a dick.

Sending positive thoughts and mind hugs your way.

[Deleted]

((hugs))

[cuddlyevil]

I am so sorry MB. Who ever said "this is what you wanted" is a jackass.

I'm glad you're taking steps to protect yourself.

{{{HUG}}}

[ProfessorArtNerd]

That person is a piece

[Jermys]

I'm so sorry he's making an already difficult time even worse. You don't deserve that.

[ProfessorArtNerd]

That person is a piece of shit!

I hope he sees the light and that the process isn't a clusterfuck

[WOT?*]

I'm so sorry MB. That your STBX has been such an ass, that people are telling you such idiotic stuff for whatever reason, for everything. Most of all, I'm sorry that you're dealing with all this. Nobody goes into a marriage wanting divorce and whoever said that to you is an idiot. Divorce and ending a relationship and a dream of what should have been is never easy.

Best of luck to you in your new future.

[jeekerbeeker]

That person sucks.  I was the one that asked my XH for a divorce and he didn't want it either.  We didn't really have anything to fight over but he would get mean and I had a couple of people basically tell me that it was my fault for divorcing him in the first place.  It's a crappy feeling.

Hugs to you 
(hug) (hug2)

[flex]

Perhaps what that person meant to say was that a divorce that is needed can be very difficult. To get what you want can sometimes mean you have go through a rough patch. But it'll be okay once you reach the other side.

[sonrisa]

Mar 11, 2014 10:19:33 GMT -5 montereybride said:

I had someone tell me "Well, this is what you wanted."

Fuck them. No one wants to go through a divorce. 

(That's like saying someone wanted a fourth degree tear from labor just because they chose to have a baby.)

[Deleted]

Ugh I'm sorry MB. People are insensitive assholes. The meeting with the attorney will be good. It will give you direction and let you know what to expect in the next few months. ((Hugs))

[Deleted]

Mar 11, 2014 10:36:52 GMT -5 flex said:

Perhaps what that person meant to say was that a divorce that is needed can be very difficult. To get what you want can sometimes mean you have go through a rough patch. But it'll be okay once you reach the other side.

Yeah. And perhaps, just perhaps, MB also throat-punched that person.

[gullterre15]

GL with your meeting Thursday. I know this is NOT easy. ((hugs))

[flex]

Mar 11, 2014 11:13:15 GMT -5 11d said:

Mar 11, 2014 10:36:52 GMT -5 flex said:

Perhaps what that person meant to say was that a divorce that is needed can be very difficult. To get what you want can sometimes mean you have go through a rough patch. But it'll be okay once you reach the other side.

How do you arrive at this?

MB - I'm sorry this is going sideways. Best of luck with the lawyers. I hope he calms down very soon before he damages things any further.

Because sometimes people aren't very good about explaining what they're really trying to say.  

[lightyears]

i haven't had anyone say that to me yet, thank god. i would've lost it on them.

the financial back and forth is such a shitshow and it feels like everyone and their mother has a fucking opinion on what should and should not happen. that's why i only talk to my lawyer about it, really. i think my exh talks to everyone who'll listen, though. that feels disrespectful to me, but what can you do.


anyway, this whole fucking process sucks. and it sucks when the other party tries to play dirty and considers themselves more deserving of whatever. whenever you need to vent or need an ear, i am here for you. pm me if you want.

[malibu]

Who the hell says that to someone?

Sounds like he's not making things easy at all. I just can't get past the fact someone told you this was what you wanted.

[luckyval]

Mar 11, 2014 11:48:11 GMT -5 lightyears said:

 it feels like everyone and their mother has a fucking opinion on what should and should not happen.

So so true. Just from watching friends/relatives go through divorce, I've seen a lot of this. And I try really hard to stfu unless they ask my opinion.

I'm sorry it's escalated like this, MB. I hope Thursday's meeting it productive.

[angieawesome]

One of the great things about divorce is that you can really weed out the unsupportive people who really aren't worth your time or energy. I'm sorry that person said that to you. What a shitbag.

Sent from my SPH-L710 using proboards

[EmilieMadison]

After I filed for what started out as a fairly amicable and calm divorce from my ex and ended up having to get a restraining order against his dad, being locked out of my own home (that I was paying for), having my remaining belongings destroyed, and to be yelled at, threatened and harassed (by my ex and his family) etc, someone told me the same thing. A condescending "Well, this is what you wanted so dont complain about the consequences."

What I WANTED was to end an unhappy marriage. I didnt want, nor did I deserve, the shitty treatment I was getting. Having someone tell me that I was, essentially, "asking for it" was pretty shitty.

Ignore people who aren't building you up. True friends will not make you feel worse. I'm sorry.

[W.T.Faulkner]

Punch that person in the genitals and then say "CLEARLY THAT IS WHAT YOU WANTED"

[EmilieMadison]

Mar 11, 2014 10:33:33 GMT -5 jeekerbeeker said:

That person sucks.  I was the one that asked my XH for a divorce and he didn't want it either.  We didn't really have anything to fight over but he would get mean and I had a couple of people basically tell me that it was my fault for divorcing him in the first place.  It's a crappy feeling.

Hugs to you 
(hug) (hug2)

A few people told me I was ruining my ex's life for leaving him and that I was a horrible person for "doing this to him". 

[katiescarlett]

I don't think they let you post from jail, so you must have shown great restraint in not hurting this person. You are doing the best thing for yourself by doing this. Many hugs.

[Deleted]

Mar 11, 2014 11:19:56 GMT -5 flex said:

Mar 11, 2014 11:13:15 GMT -5 11d said:

How do you arrive at this?

Because sometimes people aren't very good about explaining what they're really trying to say.  

No, you're wrong.  That person intended to be a fucking dickwad.  I don't even know why you would think this is miscommunication or something.  :\

[jeekerbeeker]

Mar 11, 2014 15:40:10 GMT -5 EmilieMadison said:

Mar 11, 2014 10:33:33 GMT -5 jeekerbeeker said:

That person sucks.  I was the one that asked my XH for a divorce and he didn't want it either.  We didn't really have anything to fight over but he would get mean and I had a couple of people basically tell me that it was my fault for divorcing him in the first place.  It's a crappy feeling.

Hugs to you 
(hug) (hug2)

A few people told me I was ruining my ex's life for leaving him and that I was a horrible person for "doing this to him". 

Gosh, we are really horrible people.

Nevermind the fact that it was my exes fault in the first place for getting caught looking for some strange on craigslist. :?

[polka]

Best of luck! I hope the meeting goes well.

[flex]

Mar 11, 2014 15:51:35 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

Mar 11, 2014 11:19:56 GMT -5 flex said:

Because sometimes people aren't very good about explaining what they're really trying to say.  

No, you're wrong.  That person intended to be a fucking dickwad.  I don't even know why you would think this is miscommunication or something.  :\

Yeesh.  Sorry.

[Deleted]

As you recall, my ex also stole my rings. He then drained our joint bank account and pretended he didn't know he did it and wouldn't ever have done it on purpose....ok. He's now trying to shirk child support. Thank god for my firecracker attorney because she's amazing. I hope you get good representation that will take him to task if need be.

[hungrycaterpillar]

I'm sorry you're going through this.