s/o Does being "thin" matter?

[Deleted]

Jul 10, 2012 13:45:42 GMT -5 melindafelinda said:

I love you!

[jeekerbeeker]

I honestly don't think it matters to H one way or the other. He has seen me at my heaviest and I never got the feeling that he was less attracted to me.

Unfortunately, it matters to me more than I would like to admit. I work out 4-5 times a week and eat pretty healthy. In no way do I restrict my eating and if I want something bad I will treat myself but most of the time I feel really guilty afterwards. Growing up, my mom always reminded me that if I didn't work hard to stay thin that I would be bigger like a couple of people in my family. It has stuck with me in a negative way and I have to try really hard not to obsess about my weight.

[gault]

It's pretty obvious from this post that thin is extremely subjective.

[annyong]

It matters to me, but I'm not doing anything about it. I'm pretty thin (I'd call myself skinny fat right now), but I've recently been gaining a touch a weight/losing muscle mass and it's bothering me. It hasn't bothered me enough to do anything about it yet, but I need to.

Being really thin doesn't matter as much to me as being fit/toned does, as other people have said.

[iamgrace]

Yes, I like being thin. My H would like it if I gained a few pounds, and I do probably need to gain about 5. Breastfeeding has made it hard for me to keep weight on and the scale is constantly going down. I know I sound like an asshole, or lots of people would want my "problem", but this is where I'm at right now.

[Deleted]

Well, I guess being thinner matters to me at this point because that's what moving toward being healthier will result in at this point.

But I wouldn't mind having healthy attractive curves. I think DH would prefer this look on me too, as opposed to being rail thin.

I don't know if he would say anything if I got to the point of being too thin for his liking though. He's never said a word about all the weight I gained.

As for him, I know he wants to lose a lot of weight too, so I'm sure he'd say being thinner is important, but he wants to be proportionate.

How much energy and attention to I spend on it? I work out every day, and since I joined MFP, I've become pretty obsessive about tracking. So, quite a bit.

[scotty]

I'm more interested in being healthy. I do like to be thin. But, I've seen the dark side of obsessing about it, and that's a bag of not fun.

[mrssavy42112]

I don’t want to be super thin, but definitely thinner than I am now. I’ve always struggled with weight & my workload makes it hard for me to exercise like I need to. I know my husband doesn’t care, but I also know that he’d like it if I were thinner (not because he said so).

[alzi]

Yea, kind of. I've always been little. I've gained around 10 fluctuating pounds over the last year and I am very uncomfortable in my skin.

H doesn't care at all though.

[BieberMyBalls]

Being thin doesn't matter to me. I am not ever going to be thin, nor do I want to be. What I do want, is to be healthy. If the smallest I can ever be is a size 12, that's perfectly fine with me. As long as I'm doing what I can to eat healthy food, and exercise regularily. And honestly, when I envy a woman's looks, she's usually curvy. I want to still have big boobs, curvy hips, and a nice ass. Just a little less jiggle around the middle would be nice lol.
DH has pretty much the same opinion. He has never once made a comment on my weight, but I know he wants me to be healthy. And although I'm definitely bigger than when we first met, I was never skinny, so he definitely didn't fall for me because of my size.

[jeekerbeeker]

Jul 10, 2012 14:09:50 GMT -5 TR said:

As for my H, he starts whining when he thinks he's gaining weight, but he's honestly pretty thin. He's 6'2" so his weight has a lot of space to go if he does gain a little. And if he feels pudgy he can just run a couple days or lift some weights and it falls right off. Asshole.

Yep, same with my H. I wish I had his metabolism!

[allhis]

Being both thin and fit matters a lot to me, too much. I wouldn't even mind just being "skinny," but I have a naturally muscular body, so I just strive for being smallish and toned. I am kind of obsessed with working out and very rarely miss a day. I love sweets and I probably have a body image issue, so going to the gym often is my coping mechanism.

My h isn't a jerk about it, but he would probably not love it if I gained a lot of weight. Other than being pregnant, I've weighed w/in 5 lbs of my average weight for the past 18 yrs, so both of us would probably view me differently if I changed much. He likes to keep a fit figure himself, so there isn't a double standard or anything.

I really wish I could just be more relaxed about the whole thing, but I grew up in a family of weight-conscious workout-obsessed people, and my mom is still very obsessively fit, so I don't suspect it's going away anytime soon.

[jeekerbeeker]

Jul 10, 2012 14:14:04 GMT -5 RexManningDay said:

I have never gotten to a weight that bothered my husband but I have gotten to a weight that bothered me. I am pretty average sized.

Not being fat matters to me. Being 'thin' doesn't. I like my junk in the trunk.

I have always been curvy and recently lost about 20 pounds. H said that he was sad that my ass has gotten smaller. LOL

[bleubook]

I wish I were thinner, I think I look better with about 20 fewer lbs on my frame. (2 sizes smaller)
My husband does not care at all.

I am actively working to lose weight.

[jerseygrl]

It matters to me. I'm short so when I gain a little weight it clearly shows on me (well, I feel that it does). I also feel better and healthier about myself when I'm thin. I have a lot more self confidence

[Deleted]

Eh, I'd like to be thinner. I need to lose about 50 lbs. I can't do too much about it at the moment, but I am working out 5 days a week just to build strength and endurance.

The only time it matters to my husband is when I start complaining. Lol. Other than that, i don't think he puts too much thought into it.

[interro]

I don't have the kind of body that gets "thin," I just don't and it took a loooong time to be even marginally okay with that. I'm 5'4" with huge knockers and have to starve myself to get below a size 6. But being in shape and not being overweight IS important to me because I like how I feel and look better when I'm in shape. Mr. Bang likes my body as it is now, but I don't think he'd be offended if I lost or gained a few lbs.

[drrn04]

Yes, it matters to me, and I know it matters to H. We're both lucky in that we've both always been slender. Then we both hit 30, and started gaining weight (not to mention the whole pregnancy thing). For a number of reasons, we are both pretty conscious about not gaining weight and staying fit/improving our fitness. When I was hanging onto post pregnancy weight, he was supportive about my struggles w/ my appearance (bought me more flattering lingerie, bigger sexy (non-nursing) bras, encouraged me to go get clothes that made me feel good), but I also know he didn't like the extra weight. And neither did I.

What we are really careful about though, is not making weight an issue for our girls. When I go to a Zumba class, or the gym, it is phrased to them as Mommy's going to her dance party or work out to stay/get healthy. Ditto for when he runs. We don't talk about being fat/thin/chubby/skinny at all. Food choices for them are not about junk/fatty foods, but are introduced as "we eat this so our bodies can grow and stay healthy, and have energy to play, etc."

[frauschmindy]

If I had the choice of being skinny now, or being skinny and healthy in six months, I would choose skinny now.

That said, if MH ever said that he would treat me better if only I was thinner (the fuck?), I would be really hurt and angry.

[pantsparty]

It matters to me. I have good metabolism, but I also work out 4 days a week and eat relatively healthy during the week.

It would matter to me if H gained a lot of weight. I'm sure he'd say the same about me.

[circa1978]

I've been everywhere from a size 4 to a 10 since I've been married and when I get to the high end, I think it would be motivating to have slightly less acceptance from H. Instead, he makes me a batch of blondies.

I bring a ton (HA) of issues to the table, though. My dad was very verbally abusive and told me I was fat from toddlerhood, when I was nowhere near it. My mother weighed 120 pounds pregnant with me. She's been on a diet since she was a pre-teen. Between the two of them, I hear in my head that I'm fat everyday, even when I'm not, so I have a complicated relationship with my self image (well, and with my mother). I feel like there should be some sort of healthy medium where my husband cares about my weight and wants me to be my most attractive but isn't channeling my dad.

[penelope]

Thin? No. Strong and healthy? Yes. I know that my self esteem suffers when I don't take care of myself, and it is a good feeling to know that my 20 year is coming up and I don't have to crash diet a month before. (Women in the lunch room today were just talking about that subject, and I was glad to not participate) I know that DH appreciates that I take care of my body, and he makes sure to let me know that. But, there was a time when I was packing on pounds and he loved me no differently. I also know that.

I sweat my ass off 5 times a week, and feel that I work hard for my body and deserve it. I do it for the stress relief and to teach my children that healthy should be a way of life, not a 6 week stretch to try to lose weight only to slide back into unhealthy habits. It also provides an hour of solitude, which is sometimes hard to get through out a day. Having a body to be proud of is just an added plus as far as I am concerned.

[blueballoon]

No.

We both are trying to lose some weight for health reasons, but I'd never want to be thin. I love having a lot of curves.

My husband is very into thicker body types.

[drrn04]

Jul 10, 2012 14:15:08 GMT -5 nuggetbrain said:

Maggie - thinking your girlfriend could afford to lose 20 pounds, or being concerned that she's been eating nothing but Twinkies for two months or has completely stopped working out when it was important to her before is one thing.

Saying that you would treat her better if she'd just lose her ass because it proves that her body image revolves around your ideals and rightfully so, goddamnit, is a whole 'nother thing. A fucked up thing. A thing that deserves to get punched square in the balls.

The dreaded "this."

I am so sorry your husband said that to you, Maggie. Have you guys tried talking to anyone about this?

[partiallysunny]

Being skinny doesn't matter to me. Being healthy does. I will never be 'skinny', but I know when I look damn good.

My H doesn't care. He prefers when I feel confident, whatever weight that may be. I know personally he would rather that he was more fit.

[Deleted]

Being thin- no, not being significantly overweight- yes. It used to matter a lot to me, but now I have more important shit to worry about.

H has always been thin and muscular, so I don't think he worries about his own weight. I know he doesn't like extremely thin women but I'm also pretty positive he'd be more attracted to me if I lost more weight (he's too kind to say it, haha).

ETA- I'm only speaking on looks, not health. I find health to be important.

[thebuddhagouda]

And I'll be the bitch that says I wish my H cared more about his own health. He knows he has borderline high cholesterol, and he eats horribly. He's the one constantly trying to push eating out and picking up ice cream on me when I want to cook something healthy. He's not overweight, but he's heavier than he was when we got together and I'd like to see him make changes to his overall health (not necessarily his weight).

[eightangryreindeer]

Jul 10, 2012 13:45:42 GMT -5 melindafelinda said:

:heart:

[eightangryreindeer]

Yes and no. Thin, really no. Healthy and not too much overweight, yes it matters.

Like right now I am really trying hard not to actually gain weight while I'm semi-immobile.

[Deleted]

Melinda- Whatever the fuck that is looks amazing. Is that hot fudge?