How do you hide it from coworkers?

[starfish79]

How on earth did everyone get by without letting on through their first trimester?

I've been feeling so tired and lousy, it seems like it must be so obvious to the outside world.  My workplace has few offices-- we're all out in the open in cubicles (very open cubicles!) around each other so every bite of food I sneak, every shift I make in my seat because of gas or cramps, my many trips to the bathroom, it's all open for public display!

I guess more than anything I'm just looking for commiseration. My department isn't very supportive of working moms.  There's only one person in my or my neighboring department that has children she's currently raising.  The other person's kid is already out of college and the rest don't have kids.  My boss, in particular, isn't fond of anything that takes a person's focus away from the work.

Ughghgh..... I just know that as soon as I announce my status, the target will be on my back, I won't be considered for a promotion and another person in particular will be gunning for my job.  Yes, I know that's not legal, but that's the way it is sometimes.

[mrspost08]

I work with a bunch of oblivious people! One cw can only say 500 times a day how busy she is. I'm ready to snap at her. We are all busy woman!

I have a staff of 15 & none of them have caught on.

[starfish79]

Mar 18, 2014 23:27:00 GMT -5 mrspost08 said:

One cw can only say 500 times a day how busy she is. I'm ready to snap at her. We are all busy woman!

hahah, this cracks me up!  um, do we work w the same person?

[lulu21]

My boss and my assistant picked it up right away. They noticed that I stopped downing a coffee every morning. I swore them to secrecy. Everyone else was either oblivious or just didn't ask me. Maybe my people wouldn't have noticed if I switched to decaf or hot tea... I guess what I'm saying is don't try to change your daily routine? That would have helped me in tri 1.

[Deleted]

I had a couple of comments because I was snacking all the time and barely able to touch my lunch. Other than that, I think people tend to be very wrapped up in their own lives and don't always notice what someone else is going through.

[zarapipe]

I work at a university my office is kind of by itself far away from the people I supervise, so I have to walk/drive to their locations on campus. I have been leaving my coat on when I go inside their buildings because I think my belly will give me away before anything else. I can fake it pretty well and I really haven't felt too sick. Luckily I have a private office.

[sunshine608]

Some people were pretty intuitive and knew it without me confirming. One made my comments that I ignored so I knew she knew.
Others knew something was wrong but no idea what. One of my students told me she though I was dying or something.

[stephlove]

I thought I was hiding it pretty well, but I had one co-worker come up to me this morning (we're pretty close) and she said "Mark was talking about how he's pretty sure you're pregnant. Are you?!"

[FastHands]

I'm a giant whiner, so I only managed to keep it a secret till 6 weeks. After that, I felt free to not look happy or excited about life, especially when the 3:00 exhaustion train ran me over. My CWs probably wished I had kept it a secret. heh

[Odonata]

People called me out pretty early because I could not hide how shitty I felt. (and I was probably green with dark circles under my eyes)

I teach so I'm usually run down by mid day but the intense nausea and exhaustion on top of a usually worn-down me pointed out that something was up. Plus, I usually talk and and eat a ton at lunch and I dropped to silently pushing the food around my plate so everyone at my lunch table assumed I was pregnant (or dying).

A few people knew I was going through IF treatments so they knew right away. However, they were also the jerks who said "deal with it" when I would be upset about having to run out of my class to puke.

At any rate, I can't hide it and now that I have my contract for next year I won't have to try as hard. I plan to let the cat out of the bag next week. I would LOVE to let my students know so maybe they would be more sympathetic when they see me worn out and will get off my ass a bit. Plus, I won't have to make excuses as to why I have to keep running out of the room.

[Odonata]

Mar 19, 2014 7:31:25 GMT -5 sunshine608 said:

Some people were pretty intuitive and knew it without me confirming. One made my comments that I ignored so I knew she knew.
Others knew something was wrong but no idea what. One of my students told me she though I was dying or something.

I haven't been approached by a student yet, but some coworkers thought this about me!  I was pulled aside and asked if everything was OK.

[robinsbff]

it was easy for me but i didn't ever have morning sickness or anything to hide really. i was super tired, but it was around christmas time so everyone seemed to be tired from all the hustle and bustle of that time of year to begin with. i also have a few extra pounds around my middle to begin with, so it's not like i was super skinny hiding a bump. but i think i just got lucky in the time of year and no real symptoms to hide!

[chickadee77]

Mar 19, 2014 11:32:33 GMT -5 robinsbff said:

it was easy for me but i didn't ever have morning sickness or anything to hide really. i was super tired, but it was around christmas time so everyone seemed to be tired from all the hustle and bustle of that time of year to begin with. i also have a few extra pounds around my middle to begin with, so it's not like i was super skinny hiding a bump. but i think i just got lucky in the time of year and no real symptoms to hide!

This was me exactly. I was exhausted, but just lived by "Fake it 'til you make it!" plastered a smile on my face, and powered through. 

I'm sorry your workplace is not likely to be supportive. That sucks.

[kermit]

Mar 19, 2014 11:32:33 GMT -5 robinsbff said:

it was easy for me but i didn't ever have morning sickness or anything to hide really. i was super tired, but it was around christmas time so everyone seemed to be tired from all the hustle and bustle of that time of year to begin with. i also have a few extra pounds around my middle to begin with, so it's not like i was super skinny hiding a bump. but i think i just got lucky in the time of year and no real symptoms to hide!

I was pretty much the same. I wore lots of big sweaters and the Bobeau hid it well. I didn't tell until 16 weeks and probably could have gone another week or so. I didn't start telling most people until 19 weeks and no one had been suspicious. I think i work with lots of oblivious people.

[starfish79]

Mar 19, 2014 7:31:25 GMT -5 sunshine608 said:

One of my students told me she though I was dying or something.

OMG, that's hilarious, yet... you poor thing!  You must've been pretty miserable.

[starfish79]

Thanks everyone. I'm taking the "fake it til ya make it" (or not!) approach. I'd like to keep it under wraps until as close to review time/time when my boss thinks about raises as possible, though I'll likely be showing by then...

[theatre4life]

I've told my boss and four other coworkers I am close with. I am not actively hiding it from the rest, I just don't know how to bring it up (at least with my home office). I work with a bunch of guys that are either a) too oblivious to notice or b) smart enough not to ask someone if they are pregnant.

I need to make a trip down to my secondary office (who I actually do WAY more work for) and just tell them all in one swoop, I just hate going down there, so I haven't done it yet. (Ir's a two hour drive one way, and a pain in the ass. ) Though I know need to do it sooner rather than later, because they need to figure out what they are going to do while I am out on mat leave.

[gerberdaisy]

I told one work friend right away and told my boss at about 14 weeks. I'm not sure if anyone else knows, not hiding, just haven't told. But its not a threat to my job in my workplace, I'm just not one for announcements. Next week I might mentioned it to a couple more people as its starting to get notcable and I'm sure work will get around. People really can be oblivious though and not notice a thing.

I'm sorry they are not more supportive.

[smock]

I am lucky in that I was only teaching two classes during my first tri (college professor) so I came to campus usually twice a week and just went home when I didn't have to be here for teaching or meetings or whatever. As far as I know, no one noticed that I wasn't around much.