Labor, delivery and social media

[robinsbff]

we've talked generally about it but not specifically about fbook itself. just more about who we will contact when we go to the hospital and how often we will contact them once we get there. i do want us to be the first to post any news to fbook though, and after we've contacted the people we want to contact by phone first. this will probably need to be brought up with family first, to ask them not to post anything themselves until we do. when we told them about the pregnancy BIL immediately texted his GF who no one in the family ever met while SIL waited to ask us before she told her fiance who we've known several years. clearly they have different expectations about sharing the news than we do.

[ilikedonuts]

I am a complete AW on FB. Even I didn't announce when I went in for my induction this past time. I just updated with an announcement a couple hours after DD2 was born. If anyone in our family would have updated with labor info either pregnancy, I would have probably gone off on their asses. That's just way too TMI for me.

[catsarecute]

It's so interesting to read everyone's responses. They are completely opposite of my DH's. We actually got into an argument about it tonight and I really don't think he will see my side of things at all.
I'm just going to give up and move on. It isn't worth fighting about. But it makes me feel better that my "radio silence" side of things is how most of you feel.

[katiek]

Can you have him read the thread? It may not change his mind, but it will at least let him know that you aren't crazy or alone in having this reaction. It also might put into perspective that labour is about YOU, not him. Obviously he is super important, but any play-by-play of your labour deals directly with your own body. You have the right to ask people not to post about your vagina on Facebook.

ETA: I feel like I'm being super dramatic about this, especially since I hadn't really even thought about it before. But seriously, if anyone mentions dilation or water breaking or anything, it's an invitation for people to imagine what is happening. And that would not fly with me.

[catsarecute]

I don't think he is going to go the route of sharing those types of details nor would our family members. My biggest thing with this is that it is OUR experience and I kind of want it to stay that way. If his sister or mom (or my sister or mom) made a post about me being in labor, it just becomes everyone's moment. And then WE aren't the ones sharing it with people we know first. I don't want my close friends reading the news on FB before I make the decision to let them know. The decision would have been made for me.

Ugh I'm just venting at this point since you all agree with my stance. I just don't want to discuss it with him anymore because I feel like shit and arguing is pointless.

[mrspost08]

I will be updating FB as I'm in labor lol. Not a big deal to me. I will give everyone strict instructions my DH or I will post the stats and first pic. If anyone else does I will cut off their fingers that posted it.

[lulu21]

I'm laying here in recovery but we did post to Facebook but after all family and close friends were told via phone call or text. I spent all day texting my closest friends to keep me busy and them updated. After my c section I came out to about 20 messages asking how everything went. Once they all knew, we felt okay to share our good news with everyone!

[Deleted]

I am like you. I don't want people (cough, MIL, cough) posting about me being in L&D or having the baby until I do. I should get to be the first one to make the announcement IMO.

[loira]

I haven't announced my pregnancy on FB at all and neither has H, though all our close friends know by now. We might announce after our 20 week scan, but we will definitely not be posting any labour updates. We probably won't even tell our parents when I go into labour, which will be easy enough since we live overseas.

[FastHands]

I don't care in the least. I might be a little annoyed if someone else posted the first picture, but if my mom got all stupid-excited and posted that I was in labor, I'm not going to be upset. The rest of her FB feed who doesn't give a crap might care, lol, but I don't.

I kind of laugh at the thought that hearing the words "water break" or "dilation" makes people get, what, a mental image of your vag? That would never occur to me. I think "baby" not vagina etc.

[amaristella]

Most people I know prefer to say absolutely zilch until after the baby has arrived. It's extremely common to not want anything to do with that crap when you're actually in labor. Especially with a labor that starts on its own you really get into your own personal little zone for one reason or another and what you really want is for your labor support person to be, essentially, your interpersonal body guard.

That being said there are occasional cases where someone is going through a long induction and feels terribly horribly bored and cut off from the world while waiting around in their hospital room. DH and I just got done making snide remarks about someone we know who literally posted such things as "My water broke!" on Facebook. A simple "things are moving along, appreciate all the support" would have been much more eloquent.

I don't post things unless I can think of at least 5 people who truly want to know. If it's less than that then personal phone calls or emails will work much better.

[amaristella]

Mar 19, 2014 22:11:59 GMT -5 catsarecute said:

I don't think he is going to go the route of sharing those types of details nor would our family members. My biggest thing with this is that it is OUR experience and I kind of want it to stay that way. If his sister or mom (or my sister or mom) made a post about me being in labor, it just becomes everyone's moment. And then WE aren't the ones sharing it with people we know first. I don't want my close friends reading the news on FB before I make the decision to let them know. The decision would have been made for me.

Ugh I'm just venting at this point since you all agree with my stance. I just don't want to discuss it with him anymore because I feel like shit and arguing is pointless.

Quite honestly. It really is a thing for a laboring mom to genuinely NEED a labor support whose only job is to protect them and shield them (from whatever) and to be emotionally supportive. If he's busy letting the whole world in then he's not doing his job and I would honestly plan to have someone else, maybe a hired person, a doula, take that role. I had that conversation with my husband prior as to whether he thought he could do that for me and he said that he could so that's what we planned on. But some people just aren't prepared to play that role and you need to find out if he is or not.