Post by catsarecute on Mar 19, 2014 13:29:31 GMT -5
Do you have strong feelings about how news of your L&D are shared via social media/texts/etc?
I'm in the camp of not wanting updates shared on FB by anyone and my husband doesn't get it. He thinks if he is updating our immediate family, they can post whatever they want as long as no one is directly contacting us. I'd rather keep the news more on the down-low. He thinks that is pretentious.
I plan on posting a picture and announcement on social media after the baby is born. How soon after remains to be seen, but this is what I did with DD.
I do NOT plan on updating anyone at all, via social media, telephone, text or otherwise, during any part of my labor except for my doula and doctor. I *may* post here when my water breaks or something, but I put that in a different category.
I agree with you. I guess I can see how it could come across as pretentious, as though you think you're so important that you must be the one to put it on social media.
However, it's your baby and your body. I know I would feel really weird about a family member telling the Facebook world "katiek's water broke!" or whatever. It's none of their friends business! Labour seems like it will be such a personal thing, that I don't think your H gets as much say, because it's not his vagina people will be posting about. I don't want my family's friends to picture me in labour, and I don't want to picture anyone else in labour, which is what an update will encourage. My hope is that I can just post a picture of the baby once he's born.
I like reading people's birth stories here, but not on Facebook!
I don't really want people to know about me going into labor and would rather just post a photo once she arrives safely and we have had a moment to enjoy our new addition to the family. H wants to send a text to family when I go into the hospital I think. I wouldn't mind texting them all to say she has arrived safely, but I have no desire to do a play by play on social media of all the gory details.
Oh - If I'm AT the hospital and he wanted to post "at the hospital!" or whatever, that's fine - but IMO updates on contractions or water breaking or whatnot is inappropriate no matter when or by who.
When the time comes, I may ask people to refrain from posting updates on FB, but that's about it. I am sure I will text, twitter, and post here when I am going into labor.
My preference would be to wait and post picture/name on FB myself after she's born, but I wouldn't care too much if that isn't what happens.
Oh - If I'm AT the hospital and he wanted to post "at the hospital!" or whatever, that's fine - but IMO updates on contractions or water breaking or whatnot is inappropriate no matter when or by who.
OMG yes. I don't think anyone I notify would post details of dilation or anything on FB. I would shut that right down.
DH is super private (I am a total open book) so he will be far more inclined than I am to keep things private.
Post by gretchenindisguise on Mar 19, 2014 13:49:22 GMT -5
We were just getting into FB last time, and we kept it only updated by us. I feel like this has become the status quo these days. It's the parents news - let the parents post it themselves.
I always think it's a bit annoying when friends post things on a mutual friend's wall like "OMG!!! Baby X is almost here!" or "Good luck today - can't wait to see pics soon!" It's like it's a contest to see who can break the news on FB first. If you're that close, just send a quick text instead of aw'ing it on FB.
In one particularly thunder-stealing moment recently, a friend announced the baby's gender (they were team green) and full name (they kept mum on this) on FB before the parents could. :/ She also posted weight, length, and time of birth.
I doubt I'll post anything on FB until he's actually here but won't be mad if a friend posts something generic first, though they'll get an eye roll from me). I absolutely want to be the first to post a pic and stats, though. I've seen friends (?) and even H's get so excited that they post the first pic they can take which is invariably the new mom with the baby on her chest. Which is way to much skin exposure for me to put on FB.
Post by melsamoony on Mar 19, 2014 13:53:59 GMT -5
I haven't even announced my pregnancy on facebook and I don't plan to.
I plan to turn my phone OFF when I go into labor. I have very nosey coworkers who all have my phone number and would not hesitate to incessently text me during labor.
Anyone who needs updates (immediate family) lives close enough that they can either be called or may even be at the hospital. I plan on informing the grandparents and letting them spread the word however they would like.
Post by Alwaysabridesmaidf on Mar 19, 2014 13:58:55 GMT -5
I will not be posting updates. I am thinking I won't be letting anybody know when the time comes at all. I love my family but I don't want them at the hospital while I am giving birth and I know that won't sit well with them so we will notify them once the baby is born. I feel sort of guilty but then I think back to when my cousin gave birth and I feel justified. My family has a hard time with boundaries.
Your H thinks it's pretentious to want to keep labor updates off FB? Whut?
This is basically a non-issue for us since H doesn't post a lot to FB, mine is heavily scrubbed, and none of our parents are into social media at all. We plan to notify parents and best friends by text once I'm admitted to the hospital, as well as the dog sitter. Unless the dog sitter goes rogue, I think we'll be OK on keeping it to ourselves.
Depending on how much I need/don't need to be distracted, I may/may not post here prior to the birth.
We will post a picture when he/she arrives. Unless I end up with a scheduled induction/c-section, we don't plan on telling our families when we are headed to the hospital.
Our hospital has really bad mobile coverage and no WiFi. I have no idea if we will even be able to call our parents before we leave for the hospital (they live in the US and we're in the UK). We will probably try to at least call or email the parents, and will probably post something n FB like "Headed to the hospital!" -- if we don't', my MIL will, and I'd rather it came from us. I don't mind people knowing we're on our way to the hospital. After that, there will almost certainly be no opportunity to update anyone until after the baby is born, and my husband gets a chance to run across the street to Starbucks, assuming they're open at the time. Again, we'll let parents know first, then probably post something on Facebook to make sure nobody else beats us to it (again, it would probably be my MIL).
MIL means well, but she's kind of clueless about stuff like this, and if we said anything to her it would just hurt her feelings. We don't mind it being on social media, we would just rather be the ones to post it ourselves, so it's no big deal to beat her to it.
I was soooooo happy I didn't get admitted to the hospital until around 11pm. I figured it was just too darn late to notify friends and family that we were having the baby. No one made any negative comments and I think it was only because of the timeline because I know they previously had strong feelings that they should be able to know, be there, etc.
We posted to FB with her name, stats, and a photo a couple of hours after she was born. Texted our families and close friends a bit before that. I'd do the same again next time.
Last time I sent a text to my Mom (who was in Ireland) and to my Dad (who was in South Africa) to say that I had gone into labour and was leaving for the hospital. We let then know once DS had been born, along with some other close family and friends and then only did DH post a photo to FB with an annoucement. My family and friends seemed to understand that we wanted to be the first to annouce it.
Post by scribellesam on Mar 19, 2014 15:39:11 GMT -5
I would not want L&D details on Facebook at all. We did post a photo and announcement ourselves the day DS was born. I would have been annoyed if someone else had posted first.
We updated close family and friends about L&D via text, but I think we will share less about that this time and just tell a few family members that we are headed to the hospital.
I haven't even announced my pregnancy on facebook and I don't plan to.
I plan to turn my phone OFF when I go into labor. I have very nosey coworkers who all have my phone number and would not hesitate to incessently text me during labor.
Anyone who needs updates (immediate family) lives close enough that they can either be called or may even be at the hospital. I plan on informing the grandparents and letting them spread the word however they would like.
All of this. I will probably do a birth announcement on FB when I get around to it, but likely just to AW a pic of my baby. I don't plan to post about pregnancy/labor at all. I'm even being vague with my due date (saying at the end of summer) because I don't want people flooding me on social media as a specific date approaches. My H doesn't post on social media so this is a non-issue for us.
I don't care. The last c-section I had half of my family at the hospital waiting. My other 2 kids, my mom and dad, 2 aunts, my sister, a cousin...all waiting outside the nursery to see DD. I am rather with your husband on this one. I don't orchestrate or plan events in my life though. I didn't care if my oldest 2 saw their new sister when I wasn't there and taking pictures and all that. It isn't just my baby, it is an addition to the family. I know that I am in the minority though. I liked having everyone there but I have the type of family where that works.
I tweeted during labor (it was long & I was bored), and posted an announcement on FB a couple days later.
Congratulations on a boring labor! Seriously, if I have this to say after #2, I will be quite happy that things went so smoothly/uneventfully.
Well it was eventful in the sense that I was 34w6d, but because of that they let me labor as long as long as possible. And my kid, being the little diva she is, decided to take her sweet time (34hrs) after wanting an early exit. So I was there for a long time, with an epidural, so it did get a little boring.
Post by katinthehat on Mar 19, 2014 17:40:56 GMT -5
I like being the one that posts it or having someone post it saying "with XXX's permission, I wanted you to know she's in labor" or whatever. I like it when I know about my friends going into labor because I'm able to pray for them/think of them during the time.
And we also tell our parents in person first the names of our kids, then immediately do it on social media so no one gets feelings hurt or whatever.
Your H thinks it's pretentious to want to keep labor updates off FB? Whut?
This is basically a non-issue for us since H doesn't post a lot to FB, mine is heavily scrubbed, and none of our parents are into social media at all. We plan to notify parents and best friends by text once I'm admitted to the hospital, as well as the dog sitter. Unless the dog sitter goes rogue, I think we'll be OK on keeping it to ourselves.
Depending on how much I need/don't need to be distracted, I may/may not post here prior to the birth.
He and I see thing topic so differently that I have a hard time understanding his POV and he has a hard time understanding mine. I'm not looking forward to the conversation.
I made sure J and I were on the same page w/r/t posting on FB before/during/after delivery (meaning radio silence until after the baby came), and when I was a couple of weeks away from my due date sent an email out to parents and siblings. It stated that while we would certainly let them know via text when I went into labor, we would appreciate that they keep all mention of such or posts about the new baby until after J and/or I announced it ourselves on our own pages. I also told them that at that point we didn't think we would want family visiting while I was in labor or immediately after the delivery but would let them know once we were ready for visitors. It worked out great!
I planned on posting a picture once she was here and we were all settled in. We let close family and friends know via text/phone calls. We did share some early pictures with family and unfortunately Dh's stepmom posted them on facebook including one of us right after delivery with me on the operating table. It wasn't a bad picture or anything, but wtf, facebook doesn't need to know how I gave birth to my daughter. We also hadn't had a chance to tell all our friends yet. Luckily she didn't tag me so it was only her friends and she took it down right away, but who does that?