Just a cliche, or are H really inept? *vent*

[Odonata]

I swear he does things just to prove that cliche that husbands cannot do "household" things.

I haven't been able to look at or cook chicken in so long.  I usually buy bulk packs of chicken breasts and freeze them (along with ground beef).  Since it's just the two of us I wrap them individually or at the most two at a time.  

I asked him to cook a few weeks ago and to wrap up the chicken b/c I just could not do it.  For the past 4 years that's how we've frozen meat - in small portions, but I usually end up doing it.  

Well, tonight I feel good enough to cook and went to take out a chicken breast for him (i'm just doing pasta - good enough to cook it, not enough to eat it!) and there is a bag in there with a solid lump of 5 LBS OF CHICKEN BOOBIES.  I have to defrost the whole damn thing.  They way they were mushed in the bag I can't just separate one or two, or even three.  

What am I going to do with 5 lbs of chicken breasts - of which I really don't want to be near?  

And earlier today I look in the fridge, the package of raw sausage he bought the other night for his dinner (that he cooked) is sitting in the fridge uncovered - he just opened the package and haphazardly tossed the package back inside the fridge.  The meat is all dry and nasty.

I can't believe a 32 year old man cannot use some common sense with things like this!  It make me worry that I'll have to leave a baby alone with him.

I blame his ever hoovering can't cut the apron strings of a mother.

[amaristella]

I don't believe that they can't, but I do believe the one that the longer they're married the more helpless they become. It's like when you don't use a skill you lose it. It irritates me, however to keep reading reviews of cloth diapers that say "daddy friendly!" and I'm like my husband can use almost any cloth diaper just fine. I will admit that two nights ago I was rolling on the floor laughing at 3am because I came back from the bathroom and he was trying to put a diaper cover on completely backwards, but we've all had that moment.

[Odonata]

Mar 19, 2014 17:41:15 GMT -5 amaristella said:

I don't believe that they can't, but I do believe the one that the longer they're married the more helpless they become. It's like when you don't use a skill you lose it. It irritates me, however to keep reading reviews of cloth diapers that say "daddy friendly!" and I'm like my husband can use almost any cloth diaper just fine. I will admit that two nights ago I was rolling on the floor laughing at 3am because I came back from the bathroom and he was trying to put a diaper cover on completely backwards, but we've all had that moment.

I know I'm going to have trouble with cloth diapers.  I've tried on friend's babies and failed.  haha.  

I also don't like how it's the "norm" to assume that when daddy has the kid he's "babysitting".  bullshit.

H get's two weeks of paid paternal leave from work.  He said he's probably not going to take it since it'll be so early in the school year and he "needs to be there" to get the rules down or his class will be chaos for the rest of the year.

I'm like "bullshit, you need to learn how to keep a baby alive.  It's not going to be just on me!"  I guess while he's at it he can "learn" how to take care of food.

[purrbox]

I'd flip my shit if DH threw a package of uncovered meat in the fridge.

[MrsDarcy]

You could make some chicken in the crockpot and shred it for stuff. You could boil/bake some and cube it up for chicken salad or pot pies then freeze.

But yes, that's super irritating.

[anaps28]

When it comes to kid stuff my H is amazing. Anything kitchen /cooking related he is like completely lost.
He made bacon one morning (probably the only time ever) and had it on high,grease was flying everywhere and something sparked in the pan and he jumped like a little girl and screamed out FIRE at the top of lungs. LOL I can't deal.

[osulori]

My H is great on food stuff but kind of lost when it comes to baby stuff. He's a quick learner thank god, but then we have days like yesterday-AJ had a blowout and while he was cleaning the baby up he threw the poopy sleeper and sleep sack in the hamper so the poop wouldn't get on the changing table (that's what the laminate floor in the nursery room is for, but I digress). Yeah, he forgot. I found it as I was in the midst of wrestling a melting down baby into his pajamas. I was furious!

[statlerwaldorf]

MIL is blind, so DH had to do a lot of cooking and things when he was growing up. I definitely had a learning curve, but he had been pretty good in the kitchen.

The only bad thing was that I always did the grocery shopping. I never thought too much about it. I don't mind it. But after I had DD, I sent DH to the grocery store and it took forever. He kept calling me trying to find where certain things were. He ended up forgetting a few things. If I learned one thing, it's better to split household duties every once in a while that way when you need the other person to do something it doesn't become that much harder.

[amaristella]

Mar 19, 2014 17:48:02 GMT -5 Odonata said:

Mar 19, 2014 17:41:15 GMT -5 amaristella said:

I don't believe that they can't, but I do believe the one that the longer they're married the more helpless they become. It's like when you don't use a skill you lose it. It irritates me, however to keep reading reviews of cloth diapers that say "daddy friendly!" and I'm like my husband can use almost any cloth diaper just fine. I will admit that two nights ago I was rolling on the floor laughing at 3am because I came back from the bathroom and he was trying to put a diaper cover on completely backwards, but we've all had that moment.

I know I'm going to have trouble with cloth diapers.  I've tried on friend's babies and failed.  haha.  

I also don't like how it's the "norm" to assume that when daddy has the kid he's "babysitting".  bullshit.

H get's two weeks of paid paternal leave from work.  He said he's probably not going to take it since it'll be so early in the school year and he "needs to be there" to get the rules down or his class will be chaos for the rest of the year.

I'm like "bullshit, you need to learn how to keep a baby alive.  It's not going to be just on me!"  I guess while he's at it he can "learn" how to take care of food.

DH and I started completely noob. We had paper diapers the hospital gave us for the first 24 hours or so. I don't think we got a single one on right. They all leaked. Once we switched to prefolds and covers hardly anything escaped. My advice: start with Aplix. No snaps, snappis or pins until you have mastered velcro!

Edit: Also, on the paternity leave. Tell him that unless he thinks he can function at work on like, 2-4 hours of sleep in 24 then he should take his paternity leave right away. My DH slept terribly in the beginning and occasionally still does.

[anna7602]

Big batch chicken enchiladas! I love this recipe:

www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/browse-all-recipes/big-batch-chicken-enchiladas-verdes-00000000039504/index.html

[anna7602]

Also, now that DD is older, DH is the "fun" parent. He wasn't so awesome with diapers or MOTN feedings, but he is great at teaching her how to ride a bike, taking her to zoo for the afternoon so I can get "me" time, playing with her on Sunday mornings, etc.

[mrspost08]

My husband is 12 years older than yours and does the same things! Drives me bonkers!!! Cheese will be dried out in the fridge & he says he will eat it. Who eats dried out cheese? No one.

It's called laziness! They are too lazy to do the right way because mommy always fixed it. Well wifey is going to nag not fix it lol

[mrspost08]

Mar 19, 2014 18:47:12 GMT -5 anaps28 said:

When it comes to kid stuff my H is amazing. Anything kitchen /cooking related he is like completely lost.
He made bacon one morning (probably the only time ever) and had it on high,grease was flying everywhere and something sparked in the pan and he jumped like a little girl and screamed out FIRE at the top of lungs. LOL I can't deal.

Bahahaha

[VillainV]

I definitely wouldn't call my husband "inept" -- he does a lot of things much better that I do, and I do a lot of things better than he does. I've found that if I ask him for help and want something done a specific way, then I need to tell him what that way is. For example, if certain pieces of clothing get hung up instead of going in the dryer, I need to specifically tell him which ones :-) But once I tell him, it's no big deal.

There are some food things that he just didn't know, like that once you thaw frozen vegetables, you can't refreeze them, then eat them later (he got confused when I was marked a few packets of frozen peas that we use as ice packs as "ice pack, do not eat!"). But once I explained, again, he gets it. I think there were some things that he just missed out on learning when he was a kid. But I wouldn't call him "inept."

[Odonata]

Mar 19, 2014 22:40:33 GMT -5 mrspost08 said:

My husband is 12 years older than yours and does the same things! Drives me bonkers!!! Cheese will be dried out in the fridge & he says he will eat it. Who eats dried out cheese? No one.

It's called laziness! They are too lazy to do the right way because mommy always fixed it. Well wifey is going to nag not fix it lol

Bingo.

I NEVER thought I would be a nag.  NEVER.  I'm pretty easy going.  But he's totally inept at life - which I knew before I married him so, it's my fault really.

[amaristella]

Mar 20, 2014 11:29:12 GMT -5 Odonata said:

Mar 19, 2014 22:40:33 GMT -5 mrspost08 said:

My husband is 12 years older than yours and does the same things! Drives me bonkers!!! Cheese will be dried out in the fridge & he says he will eat it. Who eats dried out cheese? No one.

It's called laziness! They are too lazy to do the right way because mommy always fixed it. Well wifey is going to nag not fix it lol

Bingo.

I NEVER thought I would be a nag.  NEVER.  I'm pretty easy going.  But he's totally inept at life - which I knew before I married him so, it's my fault really.

Multiple times I've gotten mad at him for making me nag. He'll say something like, you just need to tell me, remind me, etc. and I say no! I only want to tell you once and then you need to figure out how to make sure it gets done.

[blushing]

Odonata - Please let your husband change the baby's first nappy. In fact let him do the first few. The first few nappies have black sticky like tar poo in them and they are not easy or the nicest to clean, but once you have done that every other nappy change is a breeze. It will be the fastest lesson in baby care he will ever have and he will then he capable of helping you.

And really get him to do small things around the house to help you. My DH does all our vacuuming, sweeping and laundry (sorts, puts in the machine and hangs up). And he cooks on weekends. I can't say that his food is always good, but he tries. When he first started cooking for us it was burgers/steaks/seaseoned chicken breasts in the oven with oven bake fries/quick cous cous, etc. Now he can make more complicated things. The only thing my husband still seems incapable of now is cleaning the bathroom, lol.

And the most important thing is when he tries, compliment him and praise him. If it is not done your way then don't tell him that until he has done it a few times. The best thing I did was not correct my husband so that it stroked his ego a bit. 6 years later and he is doing things the correct (my) way.