Post by catsarecute on Mar 20, 2014 7:52:27 GMT -5
We kept it from our immediate families for 3 weeks. It was tough but I found that journaling and talking a lot with my husband helped fill the need to spill the news.
I also told work fairly quickly (before my family) because I had some worries about spotting and needed to run out for appointments.
My best advice is to take one day at a time. Try not to google too much. Enjoy even the horrible moments because you are growing a human!!!
We kept it from our immediate families for 3 weeks. It was tough but I found that journaling and talking a lot with my husband helped fill the need to spill the news.
I also told work fairly quickly (before my family) because I had some worries about spotting and needed to run out for appointments.
My best advice is to take one day at a time. Try not to google too much. Enjoy even the horrible moments because you are growing a human!!!
We told my parents because we live with them at the moment. Figured it would be a good idea so they would know what was going on. We are going to tell his during Easter... I will be 9-10 weeks by then.
I have told my boss, i am a teacher, just in case i am late for morning sickness and what not. I also told my teaching assistant so she is on call for bathroom breaks and what not. She assists 6 teachers.
Post by theatre4life on Mar 20, 2014 8:01:38 GMT -5
How to tell coworkers - I can't help with this one, I am still trying to figure that out. (My direct boss knows because of appointments and how the time off is working), but most of the others don't know yet. (17 weeks.)
I am a rather private person, so I kept it quiet pretty easily. My H on the other hand, wanted to scream it from the rooftops - so it was a matter of keeping him in check, lol. Which was a lot of "I am so not ready for the world to know yet!".
Definitely second taking it one day at a time, and enjoy each day.
ETA: We told my parents somewhat early on, because I suck at lying. And then my bff noticed way early on that I wasn't drinking and he called me out on it. Other than that, we didn't tell people until around 12 weeks, and put it up on FB around 15 weeks.
Who to tell and when is a very personal decision, and only you and your husband can decide what is right for you. Personally, I had to tell work right away, so we also chose to tell immediate family right away (parents and siblings). We live in the UK and they live in the US, so we didn't have the option of telling them in person, so we told them over the phone. I would recommend that do your boss/supervisor the courtesy of telling him/her first before other coworkers. You also might want to look into your workplace policies on maternity leave before you talk to your boss (you don't need to discuss maternity leave at first -- I just think it's good to have an idea of the policies in place). Some people like to wait until they know if the pregnancy is viable before they start telling people, so they don't have to "un-tell" people if something goes wrong. Personally, everyone we told right away was someone whose support and understanding we would have needed if something went wrong, so we felt okay to tell a small, select group.
Overprotective hubby? I don't really have one, so I'm not much help :-) My biggest advice would be to make sure you share everything you've read, everything you're worried about (or not worried about), everything you're feeling (physically and emotionally) with your husband. For the most part, they want to know this stuff. It helps them feel involved in the process and even bond with the baby earlier on, especially when there isn't really anything tangible for them to experience yet (no bump, no kicks, etc).
How to tell coworkers - I can't help with this one, I am still trying to figure that out. (My direct boss knows because of appointments and how the time off is working), but most of the others don't know yet. (17 weeks.)
I am a rather private person, so I kept it quiet pretty easily. My H on the other hand, wanted to scream it from the rooftops - so it was a matter of keeping him in check, lol. Which was a lot of "I am so not ready for the world to know yet!".
Definitely second taking it one day at a time, and enjoy each day.
ETA: We told my parents somewhat early on, because I suck at lying. And then my bff noticed way early on that I wasn't drinking and he called me out on it. Other than that, we didn't tell people until around 12 weeks, and put it up on FB around 15 weeks.
Thanks.
I am trying to wait until 12 weeks to tell everyone. Like I said.. we are telling the rest of the family at 9-10.. then probably facebook at 12.
Who to tell and when is a very personal decision, and only you and your husband can decide what is right for you. Personally, I had to tell work right away, so we also chose to tell immediate family right away (parents and siblings). We live in the UK and they live in the US, so we didn't have the option of telling them in person, so we told them over the phone. I would recommend that do your boss/supervisor the courtesy of telling him/her first before other coworkers. You also might want to look into your workplace policies on maternity leave before you talk to your boss (you don't need to discuss maternity leave at first -- I just think it's good to have an idea of the policies in place). Some people like to wait until they know if the pregnancy is viable before they start telling people, so they don't have to "un-tell" people if something goes wrong. Personally, everyone we told right away was someone whose support and understanding we would have needed if something went wrong, so we felt okay to tell a small, select group.
Overprotective hubby? I don't really have one, so I'm not much help :-) My biggest advice would be to make sure you share everything you've read, everything you're worried about (or not worried about), everything you're feeling (physically and emotionally) with your husband. For the most part, they want to know this stuff. It helps them feel involved in the process and even bond with the baby earlier on, especially when there isn't really anything tangible for them to experience yet (no bump, no kicks, etc).
The untelling part is what we are afraid of. I am so scared about that, that I have actually taken 6 tests now.
Who to tell and when is a very personal decision, and only you and your husband can decide what is right for you. Personally, I had to tell work right away, so we also chose to tell immediate family right away (parents and siblings). We live in the UK and they live in the US, so we didn't have the option of telling them in person, so we told them over the phone. I would recommend that do your boss/supervisor the courtesy of telling him/her first before other coworkers. You also might want to look into your workplace policies on maternity leave before you talk to your boss (you don't need to discuss maternity leave at first -- I just think it's good to have an idea of the policies in place). Some people like to wait until they know if the pregnancy is viable before they start telling people, so they don't have to "un-tell" people if something goes wrong. Personally, everyone we told right away was someone whose support and understanding we would have needed if something went wrong, so we felt okay to tell a small, select group.
Overprotective hubby? I don't really have one, so I'm not much help :-) My biggest advice would be to make sure you share everything you've read, everything you're worried about (or not worried about), everything you're feeling (physically and emotionally) with your husband. For the most part, they want to know this stuff. It helps them feel involved in the process and even bond with the baby earlier on, especially when there isn't really anything tangible for them to experience yet (no bump, no kicks, etc).
The untelling part is what we are afraid of. I am so scared about that, that I have actually taken 6 tests now.
This was me exactly, and I kept having to remind my H of it.
I really appreciated having some books to read. My favorites are the Mayo Clinic Guide to Pregnancy and Panic Free Pregnancy. Mr. Smock has enjoyed The Expectant Father and The Birth Partner.
Also, first tri is really about survival mode. I also teach, and while morning sickness usually struck in the afternoon/evening for me, I was so exhausted and had a million food aversions. One week I pretty much just ate potato salad and popcorn. Don't feel guilty if you need to take naps or more breaks or eat weird things!
Post by shekels1222 on Mar 20, 2014 8:18:45 GMT -5
Who and when to tell is totally personal. For me, I told my parents right away bc I'm so close to them and need their support. I also told my friend who knows about my previous mc and has been through it herself. She's my rock.
DH hasn't told anyone bc he is still nervous. He told a few people last time and hated having to tell them we lost the baby.
During my first pregnancy DH was a little overprotective but he didn't know a lot about pregnancy. His fear stemed from the lack of knowledge. Maybe get him a dad oriented pregnancy book so he can educate himself on pregnancy.
Good luck, congrats, relax and enjoy the next 8 months!
How do you keep it quiet? I want to shout it from the roof tops!!!
How do you handle overprotective hubby.
I told coworkers after 3 months, but there really isn't a rule on that. I think it depends on your personal preferences, your work environment, and if your pregnancy interferes with work. I told my boss only and everyone else found out a couple of months later.
If you want to tell family and friends about the pregnancy, there is no reason why you shouldn't. You cannot jinx the pregnancy by telling. It is all just a very personal decision and has to do with your own preferences.
For an overprotective hubby, let him know that pregnancy is not a sickness and that you are quite capable of continuing your daily life without him needing to worry about you spontaneously combusting Your body will let you know when you need to take it easy and all you need to do is listen to it and rest when you need to!
And I second whoever suggested that you stay off google Try to enjoy it and hopefully you will make it through the first tri without any morning sickness and have a completely uneventful pregnancy!!
I really appreciated having some books to read. My favorites are the Mayo Clinic Guide to Pregnancy and Panic Free Pregnancy. Mr. Smock has enjoyed The Expectant Father and The Birth Partner.
Also, first tri is really about survival mode. I also teach, and while morning sickness usually struck in the afternoon/evening for me, I was so exhausted and had a million food aversions. One week I pretty much just ate potato salad and popcorn. Don't feel guilty if you need to take naps or more breaks or eat weird things!
I am so exhausted. Its like i am only 5 weeks but OMG.
I fell asleep at 930 and i normally don't fall alseep til 12-130
I am already a little nauseated so i am scared of morning sickness.
How do you keep it quiet? I want to shout it from the roof tops!!!
How do you handle overprotective hubby.
I told coworkers after 3 months, but there really isn't a rule on that. I think it depends on your personal preferences, your work environment, and if your pregnancy interferes with work. I told my boss only and everyone else found out a couple of months later.
If you want to tell family and friends about the pregnancy, there is no reason why you shouldn't. You cannot jinx the pregnancy by telling. It is all just a very personal decision and has to do with your own preferences.
For an overprotective hubby, let him know that pregnancy is not a sickness and that you are quite capable of continuing your daily life without him needing to worry about you spontaneously combusting Your body will let you know when you need to take it easy and all you need to do is listen to it and rest when you need to!
And I second whoever suggested that you stay off google Try to enjoy it and hopefully you will make it through the first tri without any morning sickness and have a completely uneventful pregnancy!!
The only thing i googled is what is looks like and what is developing right now.
Who and when to tell is totally personal. For me, I told my parents right away bc I'm so close to them and need their support. I also told my friend who knows about my previous mc and has been through it herself. She's my rock.
DH hasn't told anyone bc he is still nervous. He told a few people last time and hated having to tell them we lost the baby.
During my first pregnancy DH was a little overprotective but he didn't know a lot about pregnancy. His fear stemed from the lack of knowledge. Maybe get him a dad oriented pregnancy book so he can educate himself on pregnancy.
Good luck, congrats, relax and enjoy the next 8 months!
Congrats! Looks like you've gotten some awesome responses, so I'll just address the overprotective H part.
At the very very beginning, my H didn't have any particular feelings other than excitement, but he started to worry about me and the baby when my MS kicked in around 6-7 weeks. It depends on your H, of course, but mine couldn't visualize that there was a baby in there, so he focused solely on me. I was doing all this reading about the baby's development, and he was doing reading on my symptoms and how to make me feel better. I think that, especially in the first tri, my H wasn't very connected to the baby because he couldn't see it, feel it, or understand it. So he focused on what he could control, which was how I felt. He spent 3 months cooking and cleaning for me and wouldn't let me do ANYTHING because I wasn't feeling well. It was frustrating at times, but I tried to be understanding that he was doing this because it was the only thing he could do.
Now, at 22 weeks, he's a lot more connected to the baby. We know it's a boy, we have a picture of his little face, and he can feel him kick. I also feel a lot better, so he is much less paranoid about letting me do things. He still doesn't want me in our new house while he paints it, but that's about it. Honestly, I think it sort of scared him at the beginning that there was nothing he could do to make me feel better. If the overprotectiveness really bothers you, I might approach it as telling him what you need from him, even if it's just to act normal, to listen to you complain without suggesting solutions, or to let you be as independent as possible. I bet he just doesn't know how to help you grow a person, because he can't have a very active role right now.
Post by chickadee77 on Mar 20, 2014 11:00:52 GMT -5
You've gotten good advice here. I, too, have an overprotective husband. Beware that, if he's like mine, and you mention, "Oh, I need to avoid/limit caffeine," he may hear, "No caffeine, EVAR, so put down that chocolate!" Communicate often and communicate well - this is something that only help you after baby is here!
Start taking a prenatal with DHA if you haven't already started.
I waited till I was almost in the 2nd trimester before telling my parents. I also asked my mom to spread the word around to other family members and I am keeping it out of FB for now. I had to let my immediate boss know because he was getting suspicious, and he advised me to not mention it at work till I can't hide my belly anymore. I work in a very male dominated industry and could possibly be overlooked for promotions or new opportunities if people knew about my pregnancy.
You've gotten good advice here. I, too, have an overprotective husband. Beware that, if he's like mine, and you mention, "Oh, I need to avoid/limit caffeine," he may hear, "No caffeine, EVAR, so put down that chocolate!" Communicate often and communicate well - this is something that only help you after baby is here!
Congrats again!
hahahah! My H flipped out over the tiniest of tiny sips of red wine... I had eaten dinner and had about 4 glasses of water and somehow he thought that me barely tasting the red wine would make our baby sprout a second head or something.
Post by Teachermama on Mar 20, 2014 12:49:55 GMT -5
He is just being really protective like... Would not let me go an get my own drink at dinner... Told me I could sleep on the way home... Made the bed this morning.. Brought me my dinner and a TV tray so I didn't have to get up from the recliner.
He is just being really protective like... Would not let me go an get my own drink at dinner... Told me I could sleep on the way home... Made the bed this morning.. Brought me my dinner and a TV tray so I didn't have to get up from the recliner.
Sweet! Milk that for all its worth! Also start complaining about leg cramps and let him know how much a nightly foot/leg massage will really help circulation and help prevent leg cramps and what-not. I would also throw in that I'm pretty sure pregnant ladies shouldn't do dishes or laundry...surely you can find some literature to back that up, right?
My husband is the exact opposite of protective. He encourages me to drink wine and he doesn't at all pamper me. Now I have gotten out doing the dishes a few times. But that is about it.
He is just being really protective like... Would not let me go an get my own drink at dinner... Told me I could sleep on the way home... Made the bed this morning.. Brought me my dinner and a TV tray so I didn't have to get up from the recliner.
Sweet! Milk that for all its worth! Also start complaining about leg cramps and let him know how much a nightly foot/leg massage will really help circulation and help prevent leg cramps and what-not. I would also throw in that I'm pretty sure pregnant ladies shouldn't do dishes or laundry...surely you can find some literature to back that up, right?
My mom was like... yea... that will last for 3 months tops!
He is just being really protective like... Would not let me go an get my own drink at dinner... Told me I could sleep on the way home... Made the bed this morning.. Brought me my dinner and a TV tray so I didn't have to get up from the recliner.