Loss ladies- second trimester anxiety-updated :)

[zarapipe]

So I thought the anxiety would go away after the first trimester- nope, it's just getting worse because the farther I get the more I realize I have to lose.

I've had 3 u/s and one Doppler check and everything looks good. But now my next appointment is 5 weeks from the last, I have 3.5 more to go and I'm losing it. I thought I felt a little movement last week, this week nothing, I'm feeling great and I am just so paranoid something isn't right.

I'm contemplating going to one of those gender u/s places on our vacay next week just so I can make sure it still has a HB, not really for the gender . Dh thinks I'm crazy.

I need a ticker, I'm 15w


Update-all is well. I can breathe easy...until I freak out next time. Thank you all. They still were discouraging the Doppler though, so Idk. 

[anaps28]

Hugs Zara I am almost 13w and I feel like I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm nervous for the big gap between the NT (having it Tuesday) and the Anatomy. Did you think about an at home doppler?

[zarapipe]

anaps28 and peggy I thought about it, but Dh keeps telling me it would make my anxiety worse, and some other people have said that. Maybe I should.

[anaps28]

zarapipe I think you should do whats going to make you feel better. Anxiety on top of all the other bs to deal with while pregnant AND having to take care of another child is too much! IMO no one quite understands the anxiety around PGAL except those that have been through it. Husbands included. My H has absolutely zero concerns. I wish I could walk around so carefree!

[chickadee77]

I don't have much wisdom, but I hear you. Both of my losses were around 13.5 weeks, so just when everyone was starting to get relieved, my anxiety ramped up.

I just kept telling myself that if I had no reason to believe anything was wrong, I was going to act as though everything is fine.

I also kept telling myself that I needed to figure out how to work through it, because the worry won't go away at birth, or in five years, or in eighteen years. I don't want to worry my life away - it's not fair to my H, my child, or, most of all, myself.

Some days I convince myself, others, not so much. Hang in there - I think when hormones level out a bit, things got a little better for me, and especially now that I can feel her pretty often (though, of course, when I can't, I still worry). (((hugs)))

[Alwaysabridesmaidf]

I feel you. I am 15 weeks and it's been a few weeks since my last appointment. I feel like my anxiety is worse now. Everyone knows and is so excited. I think that doesn't help. I have contemplated getting a doppler but I just don't know. Could you call your doctor and see if they can just fit you in to hear the hb? I mean, I know you don't NEED to see the doctor but PGAL anxiety is no joke and she may be able to give you some peace of mind.

[mrssandro]

In your case I would rent a doppler. That way you can return it after you get over this hump.

[Deleted]

I am 30 weeks and still have all of the "what if" panic. Get a doppler if that will help, I would just be worried that it would cause me more anxiety if I wasn't able to find the heartbeat due to my own error in using it (if that makes sense). Hugs. PGALL is a roller coaster.

[melsamoony]

I agree with sharknado call your doctor and see if they can fit you in for a nurse visit to hear the heartbeat. My doctor has done it for me a few times and it has really helped me a lot. The doctors and nurses at your office are there to help and reassure you, use them especially when you are feeling so anxious.

[smm5623]

I'm 20w and still frequently get anxious. I did throughout my first pregnancy also. I didn't buy a Doppler because I thought it might create more anxiety. I just keep reminding myself everything has looked great so far and I'm doing all I can to keep the baby and myself healthy.

[laurack]

my place have told me, any time I feel like popping in for a quick heartbeat check on the doppler is fine. I haven't done it outside appointments, but I assume most places would offer the same? Maybe give them a call and see if you can just drop by for a quick check.

[kermit]

I was still really nervous around 15w, didn't really calm down much until after the A/S and then after I felt movement. I almost got a Doppler but since the doctor couldn't even find a HB with it for a long time, I knew I wouldn't be able to either and it would freak me out. If I were you I'd just get one.

[zarapipe]

Thanks guys. I called and left a msg for a nurse. Hopefully she will call back soon. I would love to be seen today real quick because this evening we leave for vacation and  I will not be able to enjoy it if I'm anxious like this.

[picksthemusic]

Apr 4, 2014 7:01:32 GMT -5 zarapipe said:

So I thought the anxiety would go away after the first trimester- nope, it's just getting worse because the farther I get the more I realize I have to lose.

I've had 3 u/s and one Doppler check and everything looks good. But now my next appointment is 5 weeks from the last, I have 3.5 more to go and I'm losing it. I thought I felt a little movement last week, this week nothing, I'm feeling great and I am just so paranoid something isn't right.

I'm contemplating going to one of those gender u/s places on our vacay next week just so I can make sure it still has a HB, not really for the gender . Dh thinks I'm crazy.

I need a ticker, I'm 15w

Have you considered getting a home doppler? This might be a good way to ease your mind.

I know how you feel, though, the longer you're pregnant, the 'more you have to lose'. A loss is a loss, but it gets harder to think about the farther along you are.

[mrssandro]

Apr 4, 2014 9:33:20 GMT -5 zarapipe said:

Thanks guys. I called and left a msg for a nurse. Hopefully she will call back soon. I would love to be seen today real quick because this evening we leave for vacation and  I will not be able to enjoy it if I'm anxious like this.

Hopefully they can get you in.

Have fun on vacation.  

[melsamoony]

zarapipe ((HUGS)) I hope they are able to fit you in and ENJOY your vacation!

[jewel]

I'm still anxious (and more so now that I've announced the pg to the world), but I keep telling myself that's it's highly unlikely that I'll lose the baby at 18 weeks, especially without any symptoms.

That said, I did get a Doppler around 12 weeks, probably. It was a complete disaster at first because I couldn't ever find the heartbeat. I found out at the NT scan that I had an anterior placenta and the doctor couldn't even get the heartbeat on Doppler. I'm guessing the placenta has since moved, because I've easily been finding the heartbeat for the past few weeks.

A Doppler can be REALLY reassuring, if it works well. But I'm telling you, an easy way to shoot your anxiety completely through the roof is to have a Doppler, and no ability to find the heartbeat.

[luv2rn4fun]

((hugs)) zarapipe. I'm sorry you are still anxious but it's really normal considering all you have been through. I agree with others that a home doppler might be helpful these next couple weeks. I'm glad you called your doctor and I hope that she gets you in today so you can be relieved of this (even if it's temporary) and enjoy your vacation! So many ((hugs)). I hope things continue to go smoothly for you and am so hopeful that this is your take home baby. Hang in there.

[blushing]

zarapipe. I understand the anxiety. The only thing easing mine is that if I eat a cold popsicle I can feel the baby move.

[mrspost08]

Boy I could have written your post! I thought I would feel more relaxed too in the 2nd tri. I am worried to move forward with the babies room, announce on FB etc just because I get moments where I worry about a loss.

We have our gender u/s tomorrow at one of "those" places. They called to confirm the appt today. I was worried they were calling to cancel. If they had I think I would have started bawling. I feel ridiculous at times.

[melsamoony]

Glad to see the update. Stay strong. I think the Doppler may cause more stress than help. Baby will start moving soon and you have an awesome and supportive doctor. Lean on them as much as you need and ENJOY YOUR VACATION!

[mrssandro]

Great update!

[laurack]

glad all is well!

I have heard they often discourage dopplers because it can cause more anxiety? the ones you buy for cheap may not be as powerful or something...and regular people might not be as good as the OB/midwife at finding the right place to get a reading and then you might get worried if you can't find the HB even though everything is fine? I think that is what I read somewhere.

[katinthehat]

I have a doppler and yes, it has caused anxiety but I could always hear the placenta noises and the umbilical cord, even if I couldn't find the heartbeat itself (anterior placenta.) And seriously, anxiety is anxiety and having trouble finding it didn't make it any worse or better.

And FWIW, at 14 weeks I was feeling so much movement. And then almost nothing for two weeks it seemed like until my 16 week appointment. I think baby had moved or was resting but talking to friends at the time, it seems like 14-16 weeks is kind of a quiet time for baby movement. Hopefully that reassures you as well.

[FastHands]

I've heard the same about home dopplers -- they aren't as powerful, so even an experienced user would have a harder time finding the HB than a novice. That plus the fact that it's tricky to find a HB early on makes them potentially a cause of more anxiety than a soother. My dr said that she doesn't recommend them before 17-18 weeks, but that women typically are either feeling movement by that point or are close enough to the anatomy scan that they don't find it worthwhile to spend the $.

OP, I'm glad you were able to get some peace of mind so you can enjoy your vacation!

[Odonata]

So today ends my first trimester and I'm on cloud 9. Right now (emphasis on RIGHT NOW) I feel like that's it, this one is sticking, I'm having this baby.

When I lost my first two they were so early and I remember thinking how much worse it would be to have a miss later on. I have an app on my phone that tells me how developed the baby is this week. I've officially got a little human who sucks it's thumb and pees and to lose that now would be maddening.

I think what's getting me though is ODDS. The odds of a miss right now this far along are so much lower than the first few weeks. I'm still anxious but I'm also trying to be scientific and logical about everything. But I still get times when I'm sitting here thinking "is this thing still alive?" because I have no other symptoms except I haven't had my period in a while. I can't wait for my next appointment.

I'm back and forth on getting a doppler. There are days I want to get one but then I know they aren't so great so why waste the money on something that'll just make me crazier?

Glad to hear all is well and you can relax on vacation!

[curbsideprophet]

Glad to hear all is well.

[shekels1222]

I'm so glad little one is doing great and you have some peace of mind...for a little bit of course

I think after a loss we just have to deal with this extra anxiety that comes from the unfortunate knowledge of the pain of losing our babies.

I insisted on an early scan this week because I was so anxious I couldn't function. I was crying and worried. Hopefully your OB can understand why you have such anxiety and will help reassure you when you need it.