Selfish Whine: Long distance friends

[cahabalily]

We moved about 1000 miles away from my BFF two years ago (for my PhD program, so it is somewhat temporary). She hasn't been able to visit at all. I recently got a second job, and so I planned to buy her airfare out here for a visit.

Last night, she was super excited, ready to go. I was elated.

Fast forward to this morning- she tells me she can't come unless her H sells a house because money is tight. I'm trying so hard to not be selfish, because I really do understand money being tight. We've been working hard at getting out of debt, I got a second job, etc. so we could finally meet our financial goals.

BUT - they go out to eat every. single. night. And she's going to the beach for an entire week this summer with her mom. So - yeah, money is tight, but I can't help but feel....disappointed. She's been talking about visiting for the last two years, but never seems to make it a priority. And I offered to buy her ticket so the money wouldn't be a limiting factor, but I'm not going to pay their rent, too!

/Selfishness packed away again...

[yellowbrkrd]

If you were going to buy her ticket why not go visit her?

[cahabalily]

May 10, 2012 18:44:19 GMT -5 yellowbrkrd said:

If you were going to buy her ticket why not go visit her?

My committee won't let me take breaks during the summer - my PhD program is in Plant Science, so the growing season is of the utmost importance.... I don't have to go in everyday, but I have to stay in town so if something crashes (my data is sent wirelessly to me) I can immediately go check it out.

Silly rule, but they're my committee so I like to keep them happy, ya know?

[yellowbrkrd]

Aw, that's a bummer. I've lived in three different states during my adult life so I understand how hard it is to keep in touch with friends in other states. Hopefully your friend can visit soon.

[explorer2001]

That sucks. Still try to be understanding. My bff was long distance during my divorce. It took a while to get things back to ok financially. Ultimately I did manage to visit her in Germany and it was one of the best times of my life. It will work out I.the long run. Can you visit her out of grow season?

[cahabalily]

I've been down several times since (she lives fairly close to my hometown), so we're averaging 2 visits/year