Housing/mortgage question

[blondgirl]

My STBXH has agreed to move out. So I will keep the house and the kids will, for the most part, stay there then too. But as he's been looking around for apartments, etc., they all kinda suck. Normally I wouldn't care, but since the kids will likely be there at least once a week and every other weekend, I would prefer he not live in a dump. So he started looking at condos/townhomes and has found some nice places. We both agreed that we would refinance the house and get him off the mortgage - not only opening up the option for him to get financing on his own for a new place, but likely also lowering my monthly mortgage payment. Win-win. Yeah...

Now his lending guy is saying that since we already filed, everything will have to wait until the divorce is final (at the very soonest 4 months from now). Or he could get taken off the mortgage, but he won't get any equity at this time (we could still write it in our agreement that when I do decide to sell, he will get 50% of the proceeds). I don't know... I didn't talk to the guy, but it sounds like everything's completely complicated now, and now STBXH is saying he's stuck between a rock and a hard place because if he can't buy until he gets off the mortgage, then he can't move out until the divorce is final.

There HAVE to be ways around this. It's not like we're the first married couple to own a home together, and now one of us needs to buy his/her own place due to a divorce.

Can anyone offer advice on how they managed this so I don't sound like an idiot when I reach out to a lender/broker to discuss this stuff? THANK YOU.

[1confused1]

I am filing a motion for a bifurcation which will terminate our marital status so I can start trying to refinance.

I was told the same as you, I can not refinance or do a loan modification unless I had a divorce decree, so I am going to try doing it this way. I'm in California.