H and I are invited to his cousin's wedding this summer. I haven't met either party and H hasn't seen the cousin in many years. That isn't the odd bit though.
They registered for one of those honeyfunds, but had two different options: honeymoon (not that strange) or student loan repayment (strange).
I thought it was weird. The fiance is in a PhD program so I can see expecting to have a lot of loans. H was in a PhD program when we got married (and will be for several more years) and it never occurred to me that that is something people register for.
In my area, people almost exclusively give money as gifts for weddings. Why even register for something like a honeyfund or a student loan repayment? Just use the money you are gifted towards those things.
I think its odd but people have no chill nowadays. In the past month I've seen 3 different gofundme requests from FB friends asking for money for a grad class, help furnishing an apartment, and in leiu of buying gifts for a baby registry (and I wasn't invited to a shower)!
I think it's a little odd, just because I've never heard of registering to pay off student loans before, but I'm assuming that they have everything they need for a household, so this way they get something they will really use, rather than getting another toaster or place setting they don't really need. You're going to spend money on them for a wedding gift either way.
ETA: Assuming you were going to get them some sort of gift.
They have a regular registry as well. We haven't decided whether we 're going. It's in the middle of nowhere out west and would be costly to get to/from.
I think it's a little odd, just because I've never heard of registering to pay off student loans before, but I'm assuming that they have everything they need for a household, so this way they get something they will really use, rather than getting another toaster or place setting they don't really need. You're going to spend money on them for a wedding gift either way.
ETA: Assuming you were going to get them some sort of gift.
I want to get on board with this attitude, but I just can't. Repaying student loans as wedding gift? Wedding's aren't supposed to be fund raisers.
On the receiving end, I actually still use gifts we got for our wedding over 11 years ago where I remember who it was who gave it to me - and I enjoy thinking of them.
I'm not putting "catsup" in ramekins, but I clutch my pearls at this. Yes, even honeymoon registries. A gift is supposed to be graciously given and all of this is starting to feel more like a command performance.
I think it's a little odd, just because I've never heard of registering to pay off student loans before, but I'm assuming that they have everything they need for a household, so this way they get something they will really use, rather than getting another toaster or place setting they don't really need. You're going to spend money on them for a wedding gift either way.
ETA: Assuming you were going to get them some sort of gift.
I want to get on board with this attitude, but I just can't. Repaying student loans as wedding gift? Wedding's aren't supposed to be fund raisers.
On the receiving end, I actually still use gifts we got for our wedding over 11 years ago where I remember who it was who gave it to me - and I enjoy thinking of them.
Post by karmasabiotch on Apr 7, 2014 20:08:34 GMT -5
Why can't they just register for normal things and use the money they get and return the gifts to put it towards that and keep it a secret do its not so openly odd?
I used to get really offended by the honeymoon registry ones, but now I kind of get it. We left for our honeymoon the morning after our wedding. We opened gifts when we got home. If someone has purchased a massage or whatever off of the registry, I would have gotten one. But since money was kind of tight, we kept the extras to a minimum.
I guess registering for student loans or date nights or whatever can make people feel like they gave you a specific gift. The student loan one might be nice for a couple who has trouble being financially responsible. It means they will absolutely use that money for education instead of deciding they have enough money for a new Crate & Barrel Dining Room set.
I used to get really offended by the honeymoon registry ones, but now I kind of get it. We left for our honeymoon the morning after our wedding. We opened gifts when we got home. If someone has purchased a massage or whatever off of the registry, I would have gotten one. But since money was kind of tight, we kept the extras to a minimum.
I guess registering for student loans or date nights or whatever can make people feel like they gave you a specific gift. The student loan one might be nice for a couple who has trouble being financially responsible. It means they will absolutely use that money for education instead of deciding they have enough money for a new Crate & Barrel Dining Room set.
I'll still stick to cash or gifts.
See, but a registry stemmed from the whole "starting a life together! Building a home!" that goes along with marriage. The gifts are an extension of the whole starting a new life together celebration. "Pay for my student loans" and "get me a massage" seems selfish. And crass. And I'm sure this makes me old and soooooo lame. But I still think so.
I also bemoan people who travel on planes in velour and jeans at baby showers.
I am sort of growing ok with the travel registries but the student loan thing is tacky. If you don't need anything, don't register. But don't use a wedding as a way to cover your expenses. What's next - registering for mortgage payments?
Why can't they just register for normal things and use the money they get and return the gifts to put it towards that and keep it a secret do its not so openly odd?
Because now it's all, "URGH, I can't be bothered returning your shitty gift so just give me money immediately."
Ick. I would not donate to a student loan fund for a wedding gift. I don't mind registries at all (in fact, I prefer them bc then I know the couple will use/want it), but to me a wedding gift is more about celebrating the start of your life together. Ten years from now, you're not going to remember who gave you $50 towards your student loan.
I am sort of growing ok with the travel registries but the student loan thing is tacky. If you don't need anything, don't register. But don't use a wedding as a way to cover your expenses. What's next - registering for mortgage payments?
See, but a registry stemmed from the whole "starting a life together! Building a home!" that goes along with marriage. The gifts are an extension of the whole starting a new life together celebration. "Pay for my student loans" and "get me a massage" seems selfish. And crass. And I'm sure this makes me old and soooooo lame. But I still think so.
I also bemoan people who travel on planes in velour and jeans at baby showers.
I agree, which is why I'll stick to cash or gifts. I guess the registry in general just started to blur the line of giver/receiver. It was created, I think, to limit the number of crock pots that one couple received and has now moved to "I only want the 6Qt red crockpot with auto everything, and..." So these crazy registry requests take it yet another few steps further into tackiness. I didn't say I like them, I just understand why some people *think* they're OK.
Ick. I would not donate to a student loan fund for a wedding gift. I don't mind registries at all (in fact, I prefer them bc then I know the couple will use/want it), but to me a wedding gift is more about celebrating the start of your life together. Ten years from now, you're not going to remember who gave you $50 towards your student loan.
$50 is the suggested amount for the student loan registry. How did you know??