TDAP shots for family - WWYD?

[hokiegirl82]

I went to my normal ob appointment this morning (pee in a cup, take weight, blood pressure, etc) and the doctor asked me if I'd had a TDAP shot recently. I told her no, and she said I and anyone who is going to be around the baby for extended amounts of time (H, grandparents, daycare workers) should be getting a TDAP shot because there have been a lot of cases of whooping cough in babies recently and more babies than previously are dying from whooping cough. She seemed extremely serious about this, so I plan on getting the shot, and I know H will have no problem, but I don't know how to handle my parents and ILs.

I just talked to my mom on the phone about it and she basically laughed when I told her the doctor said the grandparents should get the shot. I was surprised because I thought my mom would kinda agree to do whatever a doctor is suggesting, but she said "I don't have whooping cough, where would I get it?" Granted, her and my dad won't be around the baby that much because they live 5 hours away, but I'd still like them to get the shot since the doctor seemed so serious about it and they will be spending some time with us after he is born.

H will have to talk to his parents about it, but I'm already guessing they won't agree to it.

So WWYD in this situation? Still "demand" (ask politely) that the grandparents get the TDAP shot if they want to be around the baby, or do I "give in" and allow them to come to our house after he is born without getting the shot? I also plan on talking to the daycare he will be going to starting in September to see what their employees do as far as required shots.

I don't want to be a bitch about this with family, but the doctor seemed so serious about this that it worries me to have people in close contact with him wthout getting the shot. (I know that there is no way that everyone he comes in contact with on a daily basis will have it, but I feel at least close family that will be spending time with him should maybe have the shot).

[pinotgrig]

My doc was very serious about this, too. H and I are up to date and my parents got their shots recently after I asked them since they'll be staying with us a week after he gets here.

We'll probably be less strict about H's parents since they be spending much time with him. But your post is a reminder to ask them about it.

[jene]

My doc was not concerned about anyone other than my H and I getting it. I recieved mine in 3rd tri and due to the timing, the baby is given some of the vaccine through me.

[ringstrue]

Hmm. I don't think I asked my parents to get any shots with DD and we only see them once or twice a year. But also I don't think my or her area have been affected by Whooping Cough outbreaks much either. If either was a big outbreak area I'd be a bitch about it. Also, my mom is always getting sick despite being a retired empty nester which I sort of think is ridiculous, so I've not been happy with her apparent lack of evading germs. So maybe depending on how things go I will kindly suggest she ask her doc about it.

[picksthemusic]

Insist. They can be carriers and not have symptoms.

Also - direct them to this website and have them listen to what Whooping Cough sounds like:

www.soundsofpertussis.com/#./?&_suid=1397066994320025397946482574807

Ask them if they'd like to be responsible for giving it to their grandbaby 'because they didn't think they had it/could get it'.

[VillainV]

I got TDAP again at 36 weeks, and baby is supposed to get some immunity from that. H and I are good on our shots.... I'm not worried about grandparents because they live far away and won't be primary caregivers. It sounds like your parents and ILs won't be either.....I'm pretty sure this only matters for primary caregivers.

[D2M]

I'm sorry your mom is being a pain about this. If my doctor really urged me to get my mom and ILs to get their shots, I'd push the issue. My doctor hasn't said anything to me yet but I'll ask her about it at my next appointment. I will absolutely insist on everyone getting their flu shots this fall/winter, but that's a no-brainer because it's so easy for everyone these days (workplace, popping in to CVS, etc.).

[hbear]

I absolutely asked my parents to get the Tdap (and flu shot as it was flu season).

Everyone was agreeable except my mother's husband, but he didn't come to meet the baby until many months after she was born, so she had already started to get immunized for whooping cough at that point.

I don't think it's an unfair request, especially if they will spend any significant amount of time around the baby. Maybe just continue to push the issue, send links with pertinent info about the outbreaks and risks to infants.

I'm not sure what I'd do if they refused though.

[catsarecute]

I talked to my mom about this as well and she seemed agreeable. As did my sister. I just don't know where to draw the line of asking people to get this. Is it anyone who is going to come see the baby for 20 minutes? Or should it only be people who will be spending an extended amount of time with the baby in the first few months?

Obviously, I don't want to put my kid at risk but it feels so strange telling family "you can't hold the baby unless you this vaccine." In my head it seems fine, but actually saying it to them is another thing. So conflicted.

[mannah]

My midwife said the same thing as your doctor--anyone spending a good amount of time with or taking care of the baby should have it. I would politely/nicely insist. I'm doing the sme for my parents who've already gotten it with no qualms but my MIL tends to be anti-vaccine in general (don't get me started...) so she might be tougher. I've put that conversation on my husbands to-do list

[mrssandro]

If my doctor felt strongly about and there was a recent outbreak then yes...I would push for them to get the vaccine. They are all reasonable people and would do it no questions asked.

[IndiaInk]

We live in an area that has a very low immunization rate and my midwife didn't even seem that concerned about TDAP. I had to ask for it. She said the CDC recommends it for primary caregivers, and it's a good idea considering the unvaccinated population in our area, so DH and I are getting vaccinated. But I figure I won't raise a stink with my family about it, even though I'm VERY adamant about protecting the baby from completely unvaccinated people. (A) they won't be primary caregivers and, (B) the baby will be born in May, which is not the time of year when Whooping Cough is generally a big problem. If my baby were to be born in the winter, I would probably feel differently.

[gretchenindisguise]

I'm pretty loosey goosey about a lot of things. And didn't insist on flu shots or tdap for my parents when L was born nearly 5 years ago. It's different today than 5 years ago with the whooping cough, especially now that I'm in SoCal. They will all be getting it. I'm going to be pretty insistent on it. And they will get flu as well because babe will be born in late oct/early nov as opposed to July.

[FastHands]

There's no wrong answer, since you have to do what makes you comfortable.
That said, I will request that my mom get it since she will be here for 2 weeks very soon after the baby's born. She actually already asked if she should be getting any shots other than flu, so I know it won't be an issue, but if she pushed back, I would let it go. I'll have DH suggest it to his parents and I will suggest it to my dad, but their exposure to the baby will be relatively brief periods, so if they don't want to get it, I won't make a stink there either.

[hokiegirl82]

Thanks for all the replies. I just talked to my mom again and she called her doctor and confirmed that she's had the tdap shot recently enough that she is covered. I'll ask my dad tomorrow if he knows the last time he had it and I'm hoping for not much resistance from him if he doesn't know and should go get it.

I have no idea how this will go down with my ILs. My FIL takes horrible care of himself health-wise (H has yet to speak with him about my ground rules for him being around the baby if he's been smoking which he does all day long) but I'm not expecting them to agree to the shot. I'm not sure where things will go if they refuse but I'm leaning towards politely insisting on it, I'll even pay for it for them.

I feel slightly paranoid as a FTM but the doctor was so serious about it this morning, I feel like I should go with her advice.

[JayhawkGirl]

I insisted for our parents, my sister and her husband. My dr called it cocooning and wanted those who would be around the baby the most to get a booster. My Ob, PCP and hospital preadmission nurse all strongly encouraged it for our family.

It's easy to get the shot. Whooping cough can be fatal to little babies. Respiratory distress in an infant is scary, scary stuff.

[phdprocrastinator]

We live in an outbreak area, so with DD we sent an email to all close family (parents and siblings) explaining our concerns and asking them to update TDAP and flu (DD was born in January). No one gave us any lip (at least not to our faces). My mom has, like, no immune system (if there's an illness out there, she will catch it), so she understood why we were being pushy.

My parents stayed with us for 2 weeks post-birth, which also increased our concern.

[kershnic]

Our family who was around shortly after the birth had all had it already so we didn't have to insist on anybody getting it, but I absolutely asked and would have asked them to get immunized if they had not been. Saying they don't know where they'd get whooping cough is like saying they don't know where they'd get the flu. It's out there, and vaccinating adults only became common recently. I had whooping cough a few years ago and even as a healthy 20-something who hardly ever gets sick it knocked me on my ass. The idea of my tiny newborn having it terrifies me.

[D2M]

I'm glad your mom is covered, hokiegirl82. I had my 32 week appointment tonight and asked my doc about family member vaccinations and she was not concerned at all, most likely because we haven't had a local outbreak here in a while. I got my shot at the end of the appointment and my H will get his at the hospital when we deliver. Good luck with your ILs.

[mrspost08]

My mom will be here most of the winter taking care of the baby once I go back to work. I'm going to ask her to get it. I'm going to also ask my inlaws if they will too. I'm going to suggest it to DH side of the family since there are 2 babies. My step daughter is a fanatic about vaccinations so I'm sure she will back me up.

[sillygoosegirl]

While I'm all for vaccines, from what you've said, it doesn't really sound like "grandparents who don't visit that often because they live 5 hours away" is at all what was meant with that suggestion.