On the fence about kids? ;)

[Deleted]

Thank you for confirming I like having 2 legs and no lottery money.

Betty is all the lottery I need.

[niq]

IMO this is like tech hiring. If someone's answer is "I'm not sure", then don't.

Nothing wrong with not having kids! I miss travel already... and 11pm, and ... yeah.

[Deleted]

This may come off like the most selfish thing ever...but I NEVER want to do that. The more I learn from you guys who are parents on the board, (and I commend you by the way) the more it's just like "fuck no" in my book.

[mkate710]

Mentally, I'm sitting in MrsPotatohead's corner these days. For a long time we were unsure, but now its come to definitely someday, still not anytime soon. I worry about the impact it will have on my relationship with H. We have a great marriage and its something I won't take for granted. He is generally a very patient, supportive guy but a kid is such a huge wildcard. I would hate to mess with what we have now.

[mkate710]

Thanks so much spunbutterfly!! I really appreciate your honesty and openness. If/when we get around to the kid thing, I'll probably be coming to you for pep talks on rough days

[madDawg228]

Yeah, I really wish I was a few years younger. I used to think that I would be a mother by the time I was 29, but the idea of having a screaming, boob sucking being attached to me for the first few months still freaks me out. I kinda wish I could skip the baby stage and go straight to the jerk/toddler stage.

I think H and I will be able to handle parenting and staying married, with some road bumps, but I don't think it will break us. I just hate that we don't have family nearby, looking at the prices of childcare makes me cringe.

[Kahala]

ive baby sat kids since i was 16 and have had many kiddos in my care. Its really only been in the last couple of years that I really think i could handle the lifestyle change of having a kid. Granted i don't know the full extent of it. But i have spent 12 hours with two kiddos and did not feel like i wanted to run screaming from parenthood. Im still in no rush, but i can see now that im ready as ill ever be and have a good gist of what to expect. I think it would stress my marriage tremendously, H and i have had long talks about his fears. We do have a good support system here so i think we would manage fine.

[meshimeshi]

I really appreciate all the advice and sharing in this thread. Babies are still scary to me, but I feel like I am starting to warm up and maybe get ready...and I feel like time is getting away from me. But the marriage aspects are one of the biggest worries. I feel like I've let go of the idea that I will resent H for having kids because I feel a lot less pressured now than I was last year and feel like the decision is more my choice. But I still feel like we aren't even strong enough in our marriage right now to be ready to add a child.


I think counseling pre/post baby sounds like a really good idea. I've never gone to counseling and I am kinda scared of it, but I think it could really do me good.

Thanks for all the advice @spunbutterfly and @jennuwine !!!

[sarack]

omg. i love this. exactly how i feel.