s/o Why did your marriage end?

[bookworm]

Verbal abuse

[tallie]

He prioritized his social life with his friends over our marriage. He also started smoking pot almost daily, and would consistently drive under the influence. Although we are still friends, and I still feel like I can talk to him about anything, I just couldn't have that level of legal risk as part of my everyday life. Especially as I got more involved with distance running and just an overall healthy lifestyle. My official line to anyone who asks is "we were going in different directions". Pothead, distance runner, these are different directions, right? I usually don't elaborate.

[margaritagirl]

Nothing earth-shattering. After 3 years of counseling, and three threats of "I don't think I want to be married to you," I pulled the plug and realized I deserved better. He probably should never had married, or had a child - he's too self-centered with his own hobbies and obsessions always put first. I'm just sorry I waited so long, but I don't regret trying everything I could.

[riverpestie]

Jul 13, 2012 14:38:28 GMT -5 jellymankelly said:

Jul 13, 2012 13:55:03 GMT -5 @landobiscuit said:

looked like a bitch and a fool in public. It was horrible. He knew perfectly how to make me look like the bad one in public and I fell into his traps too often. When there was no audience though, we got along great.

Mine would choose public outings, particularly parties with my friends, to tell me horrible things he had done, or his true feelings about things (even down to the night when we were at dinner with his brother and SIL and he told me out of the blue that he hated our dog). More than anything, it embarrassed me because it didn't make me look like a bitch, but more like HIS bitch, because he'd say those things knowing I wouldn't say anything back in front of people and I just had to take it. I thought he was a special kind of asshole, but it turns out that he is pretty much just like every other asshole.

He hated your dog? Why? That's so strange to randomly tell your wife.

[Deleted]

Stbx has Intermittent explosive disorder, post traumatic stress syndrome from abusive childhood, road rage, was emotionally and verbally abusive( it got physical once). He was narcissistic. He always told me how no one would ever want to be with me, he was so handsome I should feel privileged to be with him. He did not trust me, and was extremely controlling. He isolated me from family and friends, said i made the bed and folded clothes wrong. He hid text messages and phone calls from girls I didn't know and it's safe to say he had an affair, but denies it. he was not financially stable.
The list goes on......he was a manipulative dick. I just need to get him out of my mind, move past the hurt and find someone kind in the future.

[emma245]

Jul 13, 2012 18:30:22 GMT -5 @blueyes623 said:

Stbx has Intermittent explosive disorder, post traumatic stress syndrome from abusive childhood, road rage, was emotionally and verbally abusive( it got physical once). He was narcissistic. He always told me how no one would ever want to be with me, he was so handsome I should feel privileged to be with him. He did not trust me, and was extremely controlling. He isolated me from family and friends, said i made the bed and folded clothes wrong. He hid text messages and phone calls from girls I didn't know and it's safe to say he had an affair, but denies it. he was not financially stable.
The list goes on......he was a manipulative dick. I just need to get him out of my mind, move past the hurt and find someone kind in the future.

UGH my EXH used to always say crap like this. I would literally catch him in the mirror sometimes saying it wasnt fair he looked so good and that more women should be benefitting from it.

He cheated (amongst other issues) so I guess that in his mind he was doing woman kind a favor. Now when I picture him I think of Big Bird with spiky hair and an affinity for "man bling". BARF!

[beerme]

1.) I was looking through the computer history one day to try to find a recipe I thought I had saved. I discovered he had joined a dating website. I ran a scan and found thousands and thousands of porn files.

2.) Man can not communicate at all and is extremely inconsiderate. Everything turned into my fault and then he could never possibly understand why I might become upset.

3.) Everytime I stood up for myself he tried kicking me out of the house.

4.) When I had PPD from almost dying from congestive heart failure, he told me I better snap out of it because he couldn't deal.

5.) Sex issues .. as in I would wake up to him having sex with me. I finally told him if he did it again I was going to call the cops. I then proceeded for separation. Divorce is now being processed by the court.

Ultimately, I waited way too long. I became a different version of myself because I was so miserable. I finally feel like myself again.

I wish I would have done this so long ago.

[Deleted]

Jul 13, 2012 20:00:10 GMT -5 beerme said:

1.) I was looking through the computer history one day to try to find a recipe I thought I had saved. I discovered he had joined a dating website. I ran a scan and found thousands and thousands of porn files.

2.) Man can not communicate at all and is extremely inconsiderate. Everything turned into my fault and then he could never possibly understand why I might become upset.

3.) Everytime I stood up for myself he tried kicking me out of the house.

4.) When I had PPD from almost dying from congestive heart failure, he told me I better snap out of it because he couldn't deal.

5.) Sex issues .. as in I would wake up to him having sex with me. I finally told him if he did it again I was going to call the cops. I then proceeded for separation. Divorce is now being processed by the court.

Ultimately, I waited way too long. I became a different version of myself because I was so miserable. I finally feel like myself again.

I wish I would have done this so long ago.

Same here, I became a depressed anxious version of myself with low self esteem.
Even people at work say I seem so happy and carefree since I left.

[katiecj]

We had personality clashes and very little in common.

But we were trying to work things out when I pretty much stumbled on an email account with several hundred emails to other girls. He had been cheating on me for the better part of a year. I then hacked into his pof account and found messages to another girl from the evening before saying he was available until 9pm.

The reason he was available until 9pm was because I had brought our son to my grandmother's funeral. That was the absolute last straw.

[naeljun]

We just grew apart. We were losing our house. He was/is lazy. It was just easy for us to separate. He smoked a lot of pot too. That was a pretty much it.

[blondnearby]

I would have to say that the main my Ex and I split were personality differences as well as lifestyle differences. My ex thought my way of life was what he wanted and would ultimately make him happy. He pretended to be someone he wasn't and got away with it while I was in the hospital taking care of sick daughter. Once we were able to "officially" establish our family home his real colors came out and things went downhill really fast. I caught him cheating, lying, hiding porn, all of which I attempted to deal with. The physical abuse and draining of our bank account was the last straw (I was a SAHM because I had to continuously take our oldest to get chemotherapy).

[udscoobychick]

He wants kids. I don't. Pretty simple!

[mclovin]

Things were strained due to two complicated pregnancies and my health issues. The final straw was him hitting the baby.
My health is fine now. I have sole custody. Divorce is in progress.

[Deleted]

We grew apart...he was a work a holic...i was basically a single mom to 3 kids. we were married 14 years.
He wasnt a bad guy...didnt cheat, drink, drugs, porn, just was NEVER home. his restaurant was his GF!

[MixedBerryJam]

JFC I don't know who I want to hug first, but I want to go right down the line and give each one of you a hug. A hug and a high five, because as awful as some of your situations sound, the leaving was surely terrifying. I give you all kudos for seeing something wrong and taking action. Group hug!

[bostonterrier]

Jul 15, 2012 16:18:59 GMT -5 MixedBerryJam said:

JFC I don't know who I want to hug first, but I want to go right down the line and give each one of you a hug. A hug and a high five, because as awful as some of your situations sound, the leaving was surely terrifying. I give you all kudos for seeing something wrong and taking action. Group hug!

Agreed! A bunch of tough smart gals (and guy) on here!!!

[aliciar6]

he was lazy, i was not attracted to him, i enjoyed being away from him more than i enjoyed being with him, he ruined every vacation we went on together, he was rude to my friends, he was rude to me, he was jealous, untrusting, the sex sucked, we really had nothing in common...i was tired of having a roommate and wanted a partner

[Bernadine]

He has a serious drinking problem. He drinks too much, and becomes emotionally and verbally abusive. He wasn't like that when we were first married. It got worse over the years and the last 6 months were just really bad. He was also controlling and manipulative.

I did also feel that we had grown apart- or rather, that I had grown up and he hadn't. But I wouldn't have left just for that reason. It was the alcohol that ended it.