Somewhat not dreading Mother's Day

[Odonata]

After the Mother's Day poll, I realized this will (hopefully) be the first Mothers Day in about 3 years that I am not dreading.  

The first two were hard because we were TTC unsuccessfully.

Last year was the worst because I was due about a week before.  I remember looking at H and saying "I'm going to be a mommy for Mother's Day this year!".  And then we lost the pregnancy.  So I was suffering through my due date and then a week later a reminder that I was still not a mother.

And it was THE WORST Mother's Day, for sure.  I was holding up OK on the outside but could not wait for dinner with the IL's to be over.  Then BIL and his GF give MIL a card.  She opened it and the card said "For a special Grandmother".  Inside was a sonogram picture.  BIL and his GF both knew I was dealing with IF and that I was also upset about the past due date and this holiday, and gave me no heads up.  I found out by surprise like everyone else.  It took everything to smile and laugh with the rest of the family and be "happy" for them.  

I cried the whole night and called out of work the next day.

Part of me is looking forward to it this year, and the other part is fearful for today's check up.  Since fate seems to have been so damn cruel to me over the past few years, especially with timing, I'm a little nervous to go in today and find out there is no heartbeat.  So this Mother's Day will suck again, you know?  

I keep going from confident to really terrified.  

[MrsDarcy]

Hope you are able to stay confident, and enjoy the day.

[pinotgrig]

Going from confident to terrified is totally normal. GL at your appt today. What time is your appt?

And that was awful of your bil and his gf to do.

[Odonata]

Everything looked good today. Confidence has returned.

[nessness]

Apr 18, 2014 9:51:18 GMT -5 Odonata said:

Everything looked good today. Confidence has returned.

Congrats!

[picksthemusic]

You have every right to feel the way you do! But yay for a good update!

[luv2rn4fun]

Glad everything went okay!

[Odonata]

Apr 19, 2014 20:12:12 GMT -5 oceanspray said:

I don't like your BIL.

Neither do I. He's an asshole. Never has anything nice to say, is selfish, and treats his brother like crap.

So his GF ended up mc a month later. He told us and I said if she needs someone to talk to she can call me (because I know what she's going through). He said that I don't know what she's going through because they were further along and my loss was earlier so it wasn't as bad and not the same.

Ass. She's a sweet heart though. I don't know why she is with him still.

[mrspost08]

Wooo hoo that everything looks good!!!

Mother's Day for the past 5 years has been hard as we have been TTC with many losses. I usually cry every year. My mom sends me a mother day card every year with a sweet note. I love those cards. My mom went through a lot of losses so she understands my pain.
This year feels so different. It is just surreal.

[mrspost08]

Apr 19, 2014 20:29:42 GMT -5 Odonata said:

Apr 19, 2014 20:12:12 GMT -5 oceanspray said:

I don't like your BIL.

Neither do I. He's an asshole. Never has anything nice to say, is selfish, and treats his brother like crap.

So his GF ended up mc a month later. He told us and I said if she needs someone to talk to she can call me (because I know what she's going through). He said that I don't know what she's going through because they were further along and my loss was earlier so it wasn't as bad and not the same.

Ass. She's a sweet heart though. I don't know why she is with him still.

WTF!!! Total asshole. I would have ripped him apart, kicked him in the balls and had my dog pee on him.

[Odonata]

Apr 20, 2014 1:56:42 GMT -5 mrspost08 said:

Apr 19, 2014 20:29:42 GMT -5 Odonata said:

Neither do I. He's an asshole. Never has anything nice to say, is selfish, and treats his brother like crap.

So his GF ended up mc a month later. He told us and I said if she needs someone to talk to she can call me (because I know what she's going through). He said that I don't know what she's going through because they were further along and my loss was earlier so it wasn't as bad and not the same.

Ass. She's a sweet heart though. I don't know why she is with him still.

WTF!!! Total asshole. I would have ripped him apart, kicked him in the balls and had my dog pee on him.

Believe it or not, I wasn't shocked he said it.  It pissed me off but it was just another addition to the LONG list of assholish things he's done/said.

He has always been in some kind of odd competition with H.  H had a house first and when he bought his, he put in about $20K of reno, which he had borrowed from his parents (where we are fixing ours up ourselves one room at a time) and then boasts about how his is much better.  We redid our kitchen and he comes over to see it and goes "Yeah, but my layout is still better."  Not even "hey, nice job".

He's not married yet and when we got engaged there wasn't ONE single "congrats" or anything nice from him.  He told H for YEARS that when he gets married he's going to pick their cousin as BM and not H (who is his identical twin).  My H was torn b/c he didn't want to pick his brother for BM since he's so mean but his two close friends instead.  So I said "fuck it, he's not picking you, pick your friends".  So he did, but the two best friends were going to be deployed at the time of our wedding.  So we decided on no "best" anyones.  Just brides maids and grooms men.  Anytime anyone mentioned the wedding BIL would say loudly "Well, I hope H isn't expecting a bach. party, not sure WHO would throw him one w/o a best man."  Well, a group of great friends did plan and throw him one.  BIL did not RSVP to attend.  Instead he showed up at the bar much later with some of HIS friends, sat at a different table than anyone, and then left with his friends 20 minutes later.  H was hurt.

With our first pregnancy, H went over to tell him I was expecting and he just shrugged his shoulders and said "so"?  H was really upset about that.  But still, not surprised.  Not that I'm expecting it, but we never got a "congrats" or "I'm happy for you guys" from him on this pregnancy either.  He has, however, put in his fair share of insults.  Especially since I never took H's last name.  He constantly tells me "That's what lesbians do" and "If any woman said she wasn't going to take my last name, I would show her the door.  He should have never married you." so now there are tons of comments about how my last name won't be the name of my kid's.  It never ends so I've learned to shrug him off.  I have no respect for him.

[magdala]

Good thoughts for a happy pregnancy. Your BIl is juvenile and self absorbed.

[mrspost08]

Isn't family just amazing!!! DH & I have craziness on each side.