Post by moopoint17 on Apr 18, 2014 11:25:08 GMT -5
H and I decided early to have 2 kids. It was a logical choice - we live in a HCOL which means that we both have to work full time and by the time we had the second we would be in our mid-30s. 2 was all we were comfortable having, both both time wise and money wise.
With this last pregnancy, we went through IVF, GD and a c-section ... none of which I care to go through again. So it reinforced the decision we made earlier to be done after #2.
Both. We were in the 0 kids or 2 kids camp. When DS came along we knew we'd have another but we never wanted any more. DH got his vasectomy when DD was 3 months old.
Post by catinthehat on Apr 18, 2014 11:42:39 GMT -5
We always wanted two or three. We are expecting our third soon so we feel pretty fulfilled. As much as we love babies, children and large families we just know that we can realistically handle 3. With the amount of time and attention our children need we feel in our heart this is the best for our family.
We have family and financial goals and it feels like we can manage them with three but I'd be less confident with 4+. However if we had started having kids at a younger age I would have tried for 4 and we would've made it work (have the first 2 close together and then space out the last 2). We are in our 30s and had them close together so it's been about babies nonstop for the last 3 years.
Post by gibbinator on Apr 18, 2014 11:52:40 GMT -5
We've both always wanted 2 kids. I don't want to lose more career time, our house is 3 (small) bedrooms and we don't want to move, we both want to get back to a semblance of independence while still relatively young, I don't like babies much (toddlerhood so far is much more fun), and, of course, I hate being pregnant.
Heart and head. When we brought the girls home and we were all sitting in the living room I looked at our family and knew we were done. But we also can't really afford more than 3 without big lifestyle changes.
I will say that doesn't mean I don't have psngs of sadness etc. I get these when I think about never being pregnant again etc. But its more of a nostalgic feeling rather than a true desire to have another baby.
Both. We always wanted 3 or 4 kids. My pregnancies with DS2 and DS3 were both very high risk and were hard on our whole family. Financially things aren't as tight as they would be with 4. Ultimately though, our family felt complete after #3 was born (part of that may have just been the reality that another pregnancy wouldn't be safe for me or baby).
Post by pierogigirl on Apr 18, 2014 12:09:13 GMT -5
Both - I'm old, kids are really expensive, sometimes 2 of them is more than I can handle, I didn't want to take another maternity leave because it pushes back my retirement another year, and we are happy with 2.
My heart wants to be pregnant again someday and wants another child when DS goes to K and we could afford it.
But my head knows that we're probably better off as a family of four for a number of reasons.
Financially we could afford number 3, BUT two kids in daycare is holding us back from a lot of financial goals and paying for 3 to go to college is OUCH!
Logistically, our house could fit a third, but the setup is not great and we may have to give up our guest room to do it. Our car is definitely not big enough so we would need a new one.
Also, I'm loving the thought of doing fun older kid activities without a baby in tow and I would love for H and I to have more vacations kid-free which would be pretty hard with three kids and no family nearby.
There are a ton of arguments against having a third and they are winning for the most part. But it doesn't make my uterus not ache for another one someday. We'll see how things shake out. My Mirena is allowing us to hold off any decision for a while with no complications.
Both. I always wanted 4 kids in my ideal world. I had my 4th at 37. It is kicking my butt with the sleep/infancy. I'm 38.5 now & I feel pretty maxed out still. I never thought I'd finish having kids without some sorrow or pain of leaving that phase behind, but I honestly have no pangs or sadness being done at this point at least. We only use NFP/FAM so there is a possibility I'd get pg & down the line we may feel called to adoption (I always thought we would) but as of now...I am extremely content with the 4 girls I have. I don't even have any desire for a boy anymore, at all.
For us, it's a little of both. We have DS, and while DH would like more, I don't have a desire for any more...at the moment. That might change in the next year or so, but as of right now, I'm happy with just the 3 of us.
Head-wise - it makes a LOT more sense financially for us to have one. I'm still "selfish" enough to want time alone and to enjoy my adult things, like date night, leisurely baking, reading, hanging with friends. I feel like having 2 kids would put a damper on all that for a while. With 1, we can still give DS awesome experiences, like travel, and that would be really limited with 2. Lastly, my PPA was so bad that I never want to go through it again.
When I got pg a 3rd time on accident and we both freaked the fuck out. I was pretty sure we were done, but I had no idea how passionate we were about not having a 3rd. The pregnancy ended up not being viable, so I scheduled my tubal.
Post by irishbride2 on Apr 18, 2014 12:58:49 GMT -5
TO me it has nothing to do with feeling complete or not. Its based on how many kids we feel like we can handle both in terms of money and our own mental health, lol.
We're done. It was a heart thing and then a head thing but now my heart wants another lol. My head will win since DH already got snipped and I really don't want a 4th c/s
Post by Willis Jackson on Apr 18, 2014 13:00:25 GMT -5
I'm pg with my 3rd and last. It's purely a heart decision- I feel like I'm done and our family is complete, which is not how I felt at all with either of my previous pregnancies.
Before getting pregnant with #3, I felt like someone was missing at the dinner table, in the backseat of the car, etc.
DH would have been fine with 2 and could probably be convinced to have 4 so he's mostly left it up to me.
Post by galaxy8227 on Apr 18, 2014 13:20:56 GMT -5
It was a mix of both. If money was no object I might be open to having more but I love our family of four. I felt our family was complete the moment DD was born.
My doctor (actually doctors) say they would have serious reservations about me having more than two pregnancies/births. I'm on my second pregnancy so this is it.
Post by imojoebunny on Apr 18, 2014 15:06:20 GMT -5
I wanted a third, but DH didn't. That was that. He originally wanted three kids, and I wanted one. Once we had one, I wanted three and he wanted one. We have two, and I would not have been happy with just one, a don't feel as strongly as about a third as I did about two. Now that DS is five, it is nice not having a little. They play well together, and DH and I can relax more.
Definitely a head decision. I would have 1 more if it was based on heart . I knew our family was not complete with 2. I do feel more complete now, and am at peace with the decision. My H got a vasectomy in December. But I don't think either one of us would be devastated if there was an oops
Post by mainelyfoolish on Apr 18, 2014 18:14:59 GMT -5
We're 100% done and it was mainly a heart decision. Neither DH nor I feels like anything is missing in our lives. On the contrary, we feel our lives would be worse with a third child. We also don't have the space or money to easily accommodate a third child, but mostly we feel like we don't want to parent any more children.
Post by SpartanGirl on Apr 18, 2014 18:39:22 GMT -5
A little of both. I think my heart will always be ready for another child, but for a lot of reasons we are done. It makes the most sense financially, and I'm not sure I could be the parent I want to be if we had another (not enough patience or one on one time with the kids).
Post by whitepicketfence on Apr 18, 2014 20:14:36 GMT -5
We're still not 100% decided as to whether or not we're done; I feel very content with the thought of 3, DH would still like more. For now, we're tabling the discussion until we see what life is like after DD3 arrives.
For me, it feels like 3 is the perfect number for us, both financially and emotionally. After this pregnancy, I have no desire to ever be pregnant again. I want my body back. I miss sleep and free time. We've put off travel for several years due to having babies in the house and us living on one income; I'm dying to start traveling more but don't want to do so with an infant or young toddler. I'm ready to start enjoying big kid activities. I feel very content with our three girls.
Financially speaking, 3 will already be a stretch for us. I honestly have no idea how we would afford all of the things we'd like to provide for our kids if we have a 4th.
I reserve the right to change my mind about having more in a few years
Post by sillygoosegirl on Apr 18, 2014 20:43:08 GMT -5
I'm 10 weeks pregnant with my first, and I already feel ready to be done. And my symptoms aren't even that bad, from what I understand. I'm just a total whimp.
Post by ilikedonuts on Apr 18, 2014 20:47:21 GMT -5
100% head decision for me. My heart still hasn't accepted it and I don't think that's something that will ever happen. For so many logical reasons, we need to be done right now.
I think once the few friends of mine that are going to start having #3, its going to be really hard!