s/o judging: what kind of parent are you?

[gibbinator]

Working mom (prefer in-home to centres) , anti-CIO, pro breastfeeding, pro-vax, pro rear facing, small environmentally friendly sedan owner, cheap (prefer getting all the things second hand), use cloth diapers, would like to be a baby wearer (ds had other plans), try to use natural/organic/green products only. Just want my picky kid to eat I don't care how or what. I don't judge people to their faces but I do inwardly.

I'd classify myself as 75% AP

[docholly]

I tend to be very middle of the road on most things. I am not hyper obsessive about any parenting issuing other than vaccines.

[sookie]

I'm a researcher and a worrier, but ultimately go with what my gut tells me to do. I'm probably a little more uptight than other moms I know, but I'm ok with that.

Supplemented feeder, mostly BF
Pumping
Working mom
Homemade purees
Baby wearer
Daycare center
Lives with an on demand schedule for feeding
Pro-vax
Will do baby sign language
Will extended rear face

[Brie]

Lazy shopaholic.

[Deleted]

I think I'm middle of the road - knowledgable enough to realize we have no idea wtf we're doing but doing it the best we can.

[wonderfezz]

Scary side of breezy.

[Deleted]

Hmm, Idk if I should admit to this but I think I'm super duper breezy compared to most on here. If you're looking at outcomes along a nature/nurture continuum I think most fall towards the nature side. I strongly suspect people are pretty much hard wired to become who they will become with some leeway. Genetics ftw. 

[AlpineSlide]

Not breezy. SAHM, BFing, CDing, pro vax, pro rear facing until 2, have 3 baby carriers, pro circ, big fan of hand me downs and second hand shops, anti-CIO, drive a family friendly sedan, no solids until 6 months, co-sleeping some of the time (reluctantly), worry wort 99% of the time. I think that about covers it.

[djc315]

I think I'm breezy. I bet lots of people IRL would disagree, but I do pick and choose by breeziness battles.

18m and still BFing?  Check.

Filled 1/2 my kid's easter eggs with Starburst jelly beans AND gave him a cinnamon roll for breakfast? Check.

[lizlemon19]

Hmm, well I am a prius owner. I couldn't baby-wear, breast feed, or cloth diaper because we adopted a toddler and preschooler. I am a working mom. I could care less about child-rearing practices, feeding choices, etc as long as they don't cross the line into abuse or neglect. I am kind of a let the kids play and figure things out/love and logic type approach to discipline and try to be proactive when possible.

[anaps28]

Apr 22, 2014 11:13:09 GMT -5 @choco said:

Compared to this board, super breezy. Among friends IRL, I'm actually more uptight.  My friends IRL are super duper breezy.   

Yup this is me too

[catbus]

Wildly pro-vaccine
Wildly? No, in that I'm not going to plaster Facebook with stuff about how non-vax people are idiots. I just think it and say it to people here and IRL. 
BFs until ~18mos
Yes, DS is nearly 19 months and we're still going.
RF until 3 (probably in a Chicco Nextfit)
TBD, but we have a Maxi-Cosi Pria, not Nextfit. I refuse to drink the Nextfit Kool-Aid! Do plan to RF as long as seat allows.
Did BLW
Guilty.
Used Total Baby or Baby Connect
NO, I had no desire to worry about details unless I had a concern. 
Owns at least 3 carriers (with passionate opinions on each)
Nope. Just my Beco Soleil. 
Does NOT like graphic tees or character gear
True. 
But sleepers all day everyday are okay up to a year
Disagree   I only took DS out of the house in a sleeper a handful of times, and never to daycare. 
Feeds their kid well-balanced, protein-rich dinners Offers? Generally. Kid eats? We'll say 60% of the time.  

Does NOT appreciate you commenting on their baby's size
Truly don't care. 
Probably lives in Seattle or NY lol

[Deleted]

Apr 22, 2014 11:09:04 GMT -5 @this said:

I think I come off as breezy, but I'm really not. I overanalyze and stress about a lot.

I do very much strive to be well-balanced and keep up with parenting, a social life, and work.

ETA: I identify most with working moms, but also relate to formula and sleep training moms.

This is me. I will obsess and over analyze about a parenting decision before I make it, but after my initial spaz I'm pretty confident in my decision. Lol, I'm breezy because I talk myself down from the crazy a lot. 

Balance is important to me, I do know I get judged IRL about that, but not from anyone whose values I agree with. I also identify most with working moms and formula moms. 

[niq]

Bipolar breezy half-hearted yipster.

Okay, maybe 3/4s-hearted, but in Seattle that feels like half-hearted.

ETA the "bipolar" attaches to breezy. Like, it's either "eh, whatever works" or "ZOMG MUST ERADICATE ALL LEAD FROM THE EARTH" with nothing in between.

[catbus]

Apr 22, 2014 11:18:16 GMT -5 spunbutterfly said:

Apr 22, 2014 11:17:33 GMT -5 @barefootbarista said:

What is the anti umbrellas for rain movement?

lol, it's a pnw thing. But excludes Vancouver apparently. My husband is /obsessed/ with using an umbrella if there's even the slightest bit of drizzle outside. Most people in the area cannot be bothered with it.

On rainy mornings, I sometimes debate whether it's even worthwhile to dry my hair before leaving.

[niq]

Apr 22, 2014 11:31:01 GMT -5 catbus said:

Apr 22, 2014 11:18:16 GMT -5 spunbutterfly said:

lol, it's a pnw thing. But excludes Vancouver apparently. My husband is /obsessed/ with using an umbrella if there's even the slightest bit of drizzle outside. Most people in the area cannot be bothered with it.

On rainy mornings, I sometimes debate whether it's even worthwhile to dry my hair before leaving.

Oddly, I now prefer using an umbrella, but only when V is in the carrier. I rarely use the rain cover for the stroller.

[catbus]

Apr 22, 2014 11:31:56 GMT -5 spunbutterfly said:

Apr 22, 2014 11:31:01 GMT -5 catbus said:

On rainy mornings, I sometimes debate whether it's even worthwhile to dry my hair before leaving.

I guess I should add frumpy mom to my list.

FFC? I don't even bother drying my hair any mornings. I cannot be bothered. My hair is too thick and there's too damn much of it that it takes 1.5 hours to dry. Eff that. XD

I've learned Seattle standards seem to be different from elsewhere in the country. I shower every other day, as do most of my local friends. We're all normal people whom most would not consider dirty. Yet whenever the topic of showering/hair washing comes up on MM,  the every-other-dayers are treated like lepers. LOL. I swear the norm in Seattle is not showering daily, unless you ride your bike to work or something.

[meij]

My IRL friends think I am crunchy crazy. I SAH, I RF DD until she was three (and finally weighed 25lbs!), I BFed her until she was two. I've had two completely natural childbirths. We never use paper towels or paper napkins. I own five baby carriers.

However I'd be kicked out of crunchy moms groups. They'd consider me mainstream. We had our son circ'd, I sometimes use cloth diapers, but sometimes use disposables. Mostly disposables now because I am sick of the CD leaking all the damn time. I don't think anything in our house is organic. DD is quite familiar with the PBS and Disney Jr lineup. I am all for public schools and vaccines. We own a crib and strollers. My drug free births probably wouldn't count because they were in hospitals.

So I'd say I'm in the middle but more toward the breezy side. I am more comfortable around breezy moms.

ETA: I was against character clothing. Then I had a four year old. We stay away from gaudy stuff, but I've found most of the character shirts at Old Navy not so bad.

[drloretta]

Based on that list, I am definitely not average. I didn't even know what a couple of those things were, LOL

[magpie]

*poof*

[cincodemayo]

Per this's list? I don't fit all of the MMM standards. Gradually switching to formula, H drives a freaking huge truck, no baby wearing, no cloth diapers. No baby food making.

But kind of did BLW, love pouches, and have a NextFit.

I'm about equally breezy as IRL moms and MMM moms. Except daycare. I'm like way breezier, lol. I went on gut feel with my in home and have never looked up her license or anything. I let her feed my kid whatever purées she wants, he spends time in containment devices, etc. Eh.

[Deleted]

Apr 22, 2014 11:04:54 GMT -5 littlespitfire said:

Breezy with a side of distraught that I'm too breezy

Lol, this is me. Especially when I encounter someone doing flash cards with their 18 month old (pedi's office) or talking about sending their kindergartener to Kumon courses over the summer to prep for first grade. Otoh, I'm kind of aghast but otoh, I can't help but wonder if we should be doing that too. I don't but I still feel a niggling doubt from time to time.

[SJ]

I am not a "breezy" human being (in that I prefer order, rules, and plans- I am an ESTJ), but I am very calm and confident. I am not a worrier, don't have an anxious bone in my body, and there are SO MANY THINGS that I just could not care less about.

I already anticipate that we will not be militant about screen time, organic food, natural birth or germs/cleanliness. I very much hope that we will sleep alone for the most part and leave our children overnight fairly early on (as soon as we feel ready to). I plan to breastfeed, but I really hope that I won't be distraught if we do a combo or have to supplement or switch to formula for any reason. I have less than zero interest in cloth diapering and never considered it.

I do care strongly about raising independent, self-sufficient children, promoting daily reading & learning, making sure they see the world, fostering strong relationships with our friends & family, creating space for date time, alone time, & family time, early-ish bedtimes and getting enough sleep, being careful about gender role expectations and equality, introducing them to a faith community, creating family traditions, and having a hell of a lot of fun with her. Oh and I will probably be sort of picky about what she wears.

I am definitely interested to see how this plays out in our parenting. Most of our IRL friends don't have kids yet, but I definitely know some that will be way more uptight than we will be.

[cjeanette]

I think overall I am breezy. We have rules and consequences that have to be followed. As long as that is done and they are doing good in school and behaving I feel like super mom.

[starlily]

Apr 22, 2014 12:15:01 GMT -5 cjeanette said:

I think overall I am breezy. We have rules and consequences that have to be followed. As long as that is done and they are doing good in school and behaving I feel like super mom.

This is pretty much how I feel.

[mdana]

I don't know where I fall. To most, I am probably kind of crunchy, but to a crunchy, I am probably a wretched imposter. I'm generally pretty breezy about most things but I don't like it when people question my decisions w/r/t N. I will panic at times about certain things, but once I make a decision, I'm fine and don't give it another thought.

[swimmette]

Extremely breezy. FF from day 1, don't baby wear, love clothing with animals on the butt, never read a child rearing book, not afraid to leave baby for vacation (in fact I went halfway around the world when he was 9 months old), etc. I definitely go with the flow and think that our kids fit in our lives, not the other way around.

ETA - I am having an elective c-section for the kid I am carrying now.  I went in saying "pass the drugs" for kid #1. I support whatever birth method a mom chooses, not my body or my kid so I don't really get caring what others choose to do.

[thebreakfastclub]

I miss on most fronts.

I think I am above average IRL (minus BF) but below average here.   But I have had very few causes for concern with DS, so I don't worry about much.

I also try to take the easy way out whenever possible.  

Wildly pro-vaccine OK
Drives a sensible sedan (or minivan) nope
BFs until ~18mos Didn't even try 18 times, don't care
RF until 3 (probably in a Chicco Nextfit) Probably not, the kid is huge already
Did BLW No
Used Total Baby or Baby Connect Nope
Owns at least 3 carriers (with passionate opinions on each) Ergo hasn't been used in a month or more
Does NOT like graphic tees or character gear Don't care.   I like cheap clothes for DS, and nice ones for myself
But sleepers all day everyday are okay up to a year Took my 14 month old to grocery store on Saturday in PJs
Feeds their kid well-balanced, protein-rich dinners I try, but not hard.  
Does NOT appreciate you commenting on their baby's size Don't care
Probably lives in Seattle or NY lol Nope
Owns cloth diapers, but probably doesn't use them any more Actually use CD in the daytime!
Has terrible inlaws No in-laws
Sleep trains at precisely 6 months, no sooner or later STTN at 10 weeks.   *See formula, LOL 
Uses sunblock, but never the chemical kind         Bought babyganics because it was cheapest
Approves of pouches into adulthood (but organic is clearly preferred) Will go to college with pouches

[Deleted]

I half-ass most of those things on that list.

I breastfed until 15 months, and only on MMM do I feel like that was not a long time, lol (although I have no issues with stopping when we did, it was definitely right for us). I kind of half-assed BLW. We will RF him at least until two (which is next month) and then after that I'm not sure. We co-slept, he's in daycare, and I like to buy him wooden toys.

I have several carriers, but one is a baby bjorn, so I lose some MMM points for that one.

I also really think being on MMM and being active on the internet in general skews my perception of "common knowledge." So I may judge someone for turning their kid front-facing too early, but that person has ZERO idea that there are reasons to keep RFing longer - they just do what their pedi recommends - and they just dont realize pedis aren't car seat experts. so to me, that seems judge-worthy - why wouldn't you further research that??? but then I think that if you don't realize there is other research out there, it just does not occur to you that there IS a need for "further research." So I try to tamp down on my judginess because I think being active on message boards such as this one can create a sort of bubble of "baby knowledge" that others don't have.

[mswax]

I'm a "just trying to survive" parent. I/we do the best I/we can and accept that we are not perfect. But neither were our parents, and I think we turned out ok.

ETA: The breakdown
Working parent (4 days/week)
pro-vaccine
Drives a CR-V (but wants a minivan)
BFs until ~18mos (22 months with DS2)
RF until 2 (2.5 with DS2)
Owns only 1 carrier (but uses it all the time)
Could care less what is on my kids' shirts (but will not give in to light up shoes)
Feeds their kids (yup...that's all)