White lies you tell your kids

[Deleted]

Beyond Santa, Easter Bunny, etc.

I tell DS all the time that "those are the store's balloons" or "that's the store's candy." He believes me, for the time being.

As a kid, I believed my mom when she said a watermelon would grow in my tummy if I swallowed a seed.

[rootbeerfloat]

The arcade/McDonald's playground is closed.

[DarcyLongfellow]

I tell her things are "just for grown ups -- like coffee" all the time. I've been known to drink chocolate milk or even a milkshake in front of her and straight up lie and say it's iced coffee. I also tell her certain cookies, etc. are just for grown ups.

I tell fewer white lies now that she's four and is more capable of reasoning. And of catching me. I feel like I used to tell a lot, but I can't remember. I've definitely told her certain stores or restaurants are closed. Or that we're out of an (unhealthy) food she wants when we're totally not.

[jade]

I tell him that the ducks need to go to sleep when he doesn't want to leave the pond and come home.

[dcn]

I tell him my iphone is sleeping multiple times a day. He is obsessed.

[fromage]

I tell him the library is closed. I know that probably sounds ridiculous. I should be happy my kid wants to go to the library but it's two doors down from his school and so he asks to go after almost every school day.

I tell him I'm having peanut butter and jelly just like him when I'm really having peanut butter and Nutella.

[niki]

The Ding Ding man actually sells vegetables.

That worked until last week when my mom bought him a Sponge Bob ice cream from the truck.

[gogadgetgo]

Spinach smoothies are milkshakes or ice cream. Works every time.

[VillainV]

My parents used to tell my sister and I that batteries couldn't be replaced in toys. If a super-loud and annoying toy ran the batteries down, then it just became a "quiet toy." I was probably 8 before I knew batteries could be replaced in some of my toys.

[moopoint17]

He needs to brush his teeth or else the sugar bugs will take them. It's horrific image but not entirely false.

[irish]

Apr 23, 2014 1:09:15 GMT -5 VillainV said:

My parents used to tell my sister and I that batteries couldn't be replaced in toys. If a super-loud and annoying toy ran the batteries down, then it just became a "quiet toy." I was probably 8 before I knew batteries could be replaced in some of my toys.

I think I've probably used this one several times...

[brooklyn]

My parents told me that FAO Schwartz was a toy museum and that none of the toys there were for sale

[undecidedowl]

I frequently tell DS we are all out of whatever treat food he is begging for. In reality, we have tons of candy and cookies in the house right now.

[mswax]

Barney doesn't work in our house. I wish I had discovered that trick before they watched Caillou too!

[Deleted]

I use the "X is only for adults" all the time too. He understands coffee is hot and is for adults, but I use it for candy, milkshakes, wine, beer, lol.

[MadamePresident]

I've heard of someone telling their kids the ice cream truck only played music when it was out of ice cream.

[arch01]

Let's see.

Everything is either chicken or pizza. DS was actually the one who started this-I had a quiche in the oven and he got all excited for "pizza". Alrighty then kid, have your pizza!

Everything goes to sleep in our house when I'm tired of listening to it or it's not a toy for him to play with. He now kisses and hugs the vacuum before it goes in the closet and he tells it good night.

Other things I don't want him to have I tell him will hurt him. For some reason, he caught onto this really early and it has stuck with him.

[Deleted]

When my kid wants to do something I don't I tell her "Tomorrow maybe."
Now she runs around saying, "Let's not do that Mommy. Maybe tomorrow." Ha.

Toys and treats at the store are "for other kids." She LOVES to share right now so it works.

When I'm decluttering I tell her to find things for the bag too out of her room and say, "We need to give toys/books/clothes to the kids that don't have toys/books/clothes." Not entirely a lie I guess, but really I just want to keep the crap out of her room. It's cute though because she gets all into it. Nothing wrong with starting charity early.

[mainelyfoolish]

My DD is old enough now that I can't trick her so easily, but I did hear of a friend-of-a-friend who told her kid that the sound of the ice cream truck is the oil delivery truck. (This works if you live in New England where oil delivery is prevalent.)

[mdana]

Apr 23, 2014 7:40:10 GMT -5 MadamePresident said:

I've heard of someone telling their kids the ice cream truck only played music when it was out of ice cream.

My parents told me it was just a music truck. I believed that for far too long.

[Deleted]

Miss Pam wants you to wait until you get to school to poop.

[beefjerky]

Apr 23, 2014 5:34:48 GMT -5 swizz said:

I worked at a concession stand in high school/college and I HATED when parents would lie to their kids that we were our of soda and make me confirm. Of course we aren't out of soda!

Yeah, this is where you just tell your kids they just can't have soda. I don't get lying about stuff like that.

[kdubs923]

Apr 23, 2014 9:37:38 GMT -5 beefjerky said:

Apr 23, 2014 5:34:48 GMT -5 swizz said:

I worked at a concession stand in high school/college and I HATED when parents would lie to their kids that we were our of soda and make me confirm. Of course we aren't out of soda!

Yeah, this is where you just tell your kids they just can't have soda. I don't get lying about stuff like that.

Yes! I worked in a toy store through much of high school & college. I can't tell you how many times a little kid would carry a toy around the store while shopping, thinking they could take it home. Then they'd check out and the parents would be all, 'Oh, the nice lady here says it's not for sale/you can't have it/she's holding it for someone else' and tell me not to ring it through the register and just put it back on the shelves. Cue kid screaming thinking I'm the asshole. Thanks!