Roommate question

[btay]

I am having lunch with a coworker today to discuss potentially being roommates.  We both want out of our parents' house.  What types of things should we discuss?  I've only ever lived with family or H so this is brand new territory for me.  I know already that I can't live with anyone that is a heavy drinker because I still have a lot of anxiety triggers, but other than that I'm clueless.

[helpinghands]

I have a co-worker moving in with me temporarily and my biggest issue is cleanliness and clutter. It drove me crazy when XH would leave his crap every where. 10 baseball caps on the kitchen table, a pile of junk mail on the counter, his basket of clean clothes on the floor, his 40000 bottles of craft beer on the floor of the second bedroom.

Talk about things that are important to you. And if drinking is a no go, you need to talk to them about that.

[daktor71]

So when I had roommates there were a few other items that could come up that you may want to cover...

visitors, especially the overnight kind; if that sort of thing bothers you it's best to lay those ground rules off the bat.

On a more practical level, the kitchen and food, are you going to share food? or is it what's mine is min and what's yours is yours? Clean the kitchen when you're done and so on.

If you're a neat person finding someone similar can go a long way! I had one sloppy roommate that just drove me insane!

[gozf]

Honestly, I lived with a co-worker before, and it wasn't the best situation. She was really needy, and I felt like I could never get away from her. I'd seriously advise you to reconsider this.

General roommate concerns: definitely how much you can afford, who pays for what, etc. I've really never met anyone who was a total slob who came straight out and said, "yeah, I am a total slob." Same goes for heavy drinkers or smokers. People tend to be guarded about their vices.

[winecat]

I'd run a credit report on one another to you both know that bills are paid on time, etc.. Last thing you want is to be holding the bag on all the bills. I agree with gozf, it's hard to live and work with someone.

[riverpestie]

Do they have pets, too?
I would definitely discuss the pet situation, like where they will be when you're both gone and if you'd like for them to be let out etc...

When I had a roommate, the pet thing was my main concern.

I would also discuss food (share or not), cooking, cleaning, shared bills etc...

[Deleted]

I agree with gozf I feel like there is a whole new layer of complication when you live with someone who is a coworker. Do you want them telling your other coworkers about how you didn't come home one night or binge ate on oreos all weekend? Also will you feel like you can truly get away from work?

Otherwise I agree about the food and pet stuff.

[btay]

my dogs are staying with H, so they shouldn't be an issue. I would love to take them with, but he has a house with a yard and it just wouldn't be fair to them to be trapped in a tiny little apartment all day

My coworkers already know I binge eat Oreos I get the point though, and the lack of time away will definitely be something we have to discuss. I'm extremely introverted and I know this can drive some people up the wall because...well I never leave.

[Deleted]

btay if you're introverted that might be something to discuss as well regarding expectations. That you are just roommates and you're not going to be hanging out 24/7 you know?

[udscoobychick]

~Expectations for visitors (Do you have to check with your roommate before someone stays over? What if you're having more than a couple people over?)
~Where you guys want to live (What area? How big of a place do you need? What's your budget for rent?)
~Expectations for cleaning (Who handles what? How neat are you usually?)
~Expectations for common areas (If you have a few people over, does she mind if you take over the living room? Who has control of the TV remote?)
~Expectations on hanging out vs. living together
~Expectations on how to split bills
~Expectations on how to furnish the place (Do you both have couches?)
~Expectations on food and household supplies (Sharing vs. not)
~Expectations about the pets (Will you help let them out if she's not home? Who cleans up after them? Are they allowed in your room?)

I have lived with several roommates, and while I never discussed anything formally with any of them, these were all aspects that required some working together to figure out. I personally like to keep things pretty separate.

[abcdefu]

Definitely find a place with 2 bathrooms! Nothing is worse than sharing a bathroom, especially if you both have the same work schedule. Also discuss groceries. Are you going to buy your own and eat your own, or share and split the cost? People staying over? how long can they stay? you don't want a roommate and her boyfriend/girlfriend living with you for free.