Post by pinkhighheels on Apr 23, 2014 15:14:47 GMT -5
Hi this is my first post here but I'm sure I will be posting more in the future. I'm just curious how long everyone continued to live with their ex once they knew the marriage was over? Also how long did you wait before filing for divorce? My marriage of six years is more than likely over but we are in a lease until later this year. I'm not looking forward to cohabitating for the coming months but breaking the lease isn't an option financially.
Post by cuddlyevil on Apr 23, 2014 15:17:03 GMT -5
I told my stbx that I didn't want to be married anymore the weekend after Thanksgiving. I moved out at the beginning of April. We're amicable, so it wasn't that bad but my stress levels dropped dramatically once I had my own place. We're nailing down some financial stuff tomorrow and everything should be all official and ready for filing not long after. YAY!
I am sorry you're here, but you are very welcome to join in.
Post by helpinghands on Apr 23, 2014 15:17:40 GMT -5
This probably isn't much help, but my ex was out within 24 hours of when I told him I wanted a divorce. His stuff was still there for about 3 weeks (he moved in with friends temporarily), but it was immediate.
Can you find someone to sublet? Either the entire place or one of you stay and one leave?
I had decided in my head I was a going to divorce him about 6 months before I actually told him I wanted a divorce. Living with him for that time was tough.
H moved out 2 days after we agreed to separate, and then I moved out 2 weeks later and he moved back in since he could afford to live there alone and I couldn't. We are on good terms so a lot of my stuff is still there and I'll just go load up what I want when I finally get a place that isn't my parents basement.
I didn't realize I wanted a divorce until he had already moved out during our "trial separation". That made things that just must easier when it was all said and done.
Post by kitkat1502 on Apr 23, 2014 15:52:18 GMT -5
We knew the marriage was over in October when I realized he was cheating again when I found condoms hidden in the car. We remained together through the holidays. We separated New Years Day, I stayed at two different girlfriends place for about 10 days while he packed and moved out.
He told me he wanted a divorce (for the official last time) at the end of October. We still live together and our divorce was granted today. I move out next month. We will be financially tied together until our house sells.
I asked him to leave the night he told me it was over. I needed to NOT be around him. And I was sick, so he had to go. The fact that he immediately packed a bag and left told me everything I needed to know about his sincerity.
We were both lucky though that our parents are local. He stayed with his until I was able to move enough of my stuff to my parents house.
I was completely moved out by the next week. The only delay was that we had a pre-planned trip with both our parents 4 days after his admission.
We started the divorce process pretty quickly, but weren't in any major rush, so I moved out last April, he was served in October and the divorce should be final tomorrow when I go sign the papers.
0 days living together. I found he was being unfaithful & I asked him to leave. He filed for divorce about 4 days later. I stayed in the house with the lease & he left. In Texas, once the divorce has been filed, you enter temporary orders (negotiated by our attorneys). I took on all the bills we had together (including our lease) and he was ordered to pay me X dollars towards it until the divorce was final.
Post by onedayatatime on Apr 23, 2014 18:37:45 GMT -5
He told me he wanted a divorce in feb and then moved out at the end of march (but still has a ton of stuff at the house). We will probably be filing in May.
It was difficult for me to be in the same house - I felt a lot better after he left.
We lived together about 3 months, but our house was a split level so we could sleep in separate bedrooms/have separate bathrooms comfortably. We could not afford 2 house payments and didn't have family locally to stay with, so we were kind of stuck until we sold our house (also, neither of us knew for certain if we were staying in the area so signing a lease wouldn't have worked).
It was actually fine. I mean things were much better once he moved out, but we were both pretty good about tiptoeing around each other and only had a handful of fights during that time. I'd say we were nicer to each other most days during that period than we were when we were married! I don't really recommend it but I don't regret it either because we were able to divorce in a much better financial spot because we both stayed put and kept paying the joint bills.
I filed about 2 months after we decided to split. I mostly waited because we weren't using a lawyer and it took me that long to read through the huge stack of papers I printed off the internet. I also (incorrectly) thought I needed to know if I was staying in the house/generally what the plan was before filing since I didn't want to have to redo anything. I do wish I filed sooner because there was no good reason to wait, but it wasn't that big of a deal either way.
We lived together for about a month after I told him it was over. It's so long ago now that I don't remember if we filed before or after I moved out. I do remember that one month being incredibly awkward though. The awkwardness was exacerbated by the fact he asked me for sex while we still lived together because ya know, "we were still married so it would be ok." I didn't want to have sex with him while we were married so I'm not sure why he thought I'd want to after I told him I wanted out.
After deciding on a divorce, we lived together 3 miserable months. The following two months were filled with anger (on his side) but now we are amicable.
We were on and off for about 2 years each time, I'd move out (either to my parents) and one time I rented a friends house for 3 months. I moved back in with him several times always trying to make it work again. January 31, 2013, I moved out and in July, he filed for divorce. Since I was living with my parents, he let me store my stuff until I was able to rent/buy a place. In August, I officially moved my stuff out and put it in storage until I closed on my house. We are not amicable whatsoever.
Post by prettyinpearls on Apr 24, 2014 8:30:03 GMT -5
The night he told me he didn’t love me anymore (Code for he was having an affair), he slept on the couch. A week or two later I told him I couldn’t live “like this” anymore and he moved into his mom’s place the very next day. He was staying out all night, not coming home some nights, getting shitfaced drunk, etc. He told everyone that I kicked him out, but it’s hard to kick someone out who already has one foot out the door.
I can’t imagine living under the same roof as someone while going through the divorce process. Getting your own space is a HUGE help in the healing process.
Post by bullygirl979 on Apr 24, 2014 8:30:48 GMT -5
About a month. I decided I wanted a divorce but wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to change my mind. I gave myself 14 days and said if I still felt the same way, I'd tell him. I didn't change my mind, told him and moved out 14 days after that.
We had out big blowout fight and "final" talk on or about 12/20/2012 and he signed for his house on 4/9/2013. It was awkward and stressful. We slept in the same bed (please don't judge me-we weren't physical), did chores, went grocery shopping like normal. We slowly separated all of that during those 3ish months. What made me put my foot down was when he took the woman he cheated on me with out to dinner. He has been unfaithful 10 days before our wedding but I didn't know until over a year later. This was 4+ years after that and he went out to dinner with her at the end of March. I found out when a friend texted me that she saw them out together. I laid the hammer down that night.
Would I do it like that again? Not if I could help it. When he moved out, I was numb and it took me a few months to start to feel again (and to get some furniture back in my house). In my state you have to be separated a year and a day before you can file. That was 4/10 and I'm actually filing tomorrow. It'll be about 45 days before the hearing due to service and the waiting period for an answer. But I'm ready.
I've "known" on some level for 3 years. I absolutely knew I wanted a divorce right before Thanksgiving. I told stbx in mid-January. We lived together until the end of March, when I got an apartment for me and DS. He kept the house.
The first 3 years were alright. We were like roommates by that time anyway. By Thanksgiving, it was getting awkward. I started pulling away and he got controlling. After I told him I wanted a divorce, it was downright unbearable. And the house was small. No spare room, no extra bathroom, nowhere to hide. I slept on the couch while he slept in the bedroom. We just had to tolerate each other the rest of the time.