I'm so depressed today.

[bullygirl979]

I honestly haven't felt this down in a really long time. For the past few days, I just haven't been able to shake it.

It is stupid but I just feel so alone. After I drunk texted Z the other day we have been going back and forth with these stupid text messages. It's to the point where I just want him totally out of my life. He had a bunch of stuff still at my place and I will be packing that while he is gone away on training and I will tell him that he can pick it up when he gets back.

I just feel like everyone (i.e. him and my XH) is/has moved on with their lives and are happy. And I can barely type this because I am crying so hard. Rationally I know that Z hasn't moved on and I know he isn't happy because he is just an unhappy person at the core (part of the reason we broke up) but it just FEELS like he is moving on and I am not.

I know I will sound like I am 5 but if just feels so unfair. If I am so nice/cute/funny/loyal that everyone says that I am, then why haven't I found someone who can *truly* appreciate that? Please don't tell me to go get happy with myself because I am. I feel like I have A LOT to offer someone and I know that I would make a good partner.

I am doing what I need to do. I am still in counseling, I get together with my friends, I signed up for 4 new meetup groups today. But it doesn't help the fact that at this moment, I am so fucking sad that I feel like I can't even leave the house. I don't want to be around anyone right now but I don't want to sit here alone....

Fuck.

[omeomi]

((hugs))

I know how you feel. Sometimes it seems like everyone else gets to be happy but you. Logically, we know that's not true, but that doesn't change the feeling.

I think that sometimes you just need to cry it out. You're obviously doing a lot to try to get into a better place/frame of mind, but that doesn't mean you can't let yourself have a few bad days along the way.

Just know that there are a lot of people here that know just what you're going through, so you really aren't alone at all. We're all here to support each other.

Another big ((hug)) to you.

[udscoobychick]

*hugs*. We all have those days. Just take it a little at a time until things start to look up. And they will. Do something today that makes you happy...spoil yourself! You deserve it.

[doriswe]

Ohhhh honey!!!! Come here and hang out with me and girls this weekend!! He is taking the easy road and as sucky as it is, you and I both know he'll never find real genuine happiness because he's not real.....you are and you will get through this like a fucking rock star and will meet some amazing man who will be an equal partner in life. And you know what, it's not fair right now.....but in a little while you'll be in a better place and you will be healthier, stronger, happier and in a much better place and he'll still be a schmuck!

I'll drunk text you later, k?

[doriswe]

Andplusalso, this is the bottom....there is no where else to go but up from here!!

[udscoobychick]

Jul 14, 2012 11:22:40 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Andplusalso, this is the bottom....there is no where else to go but up from here!!

:Y: that thought got me through many, many days!

[Deleted]

((hugs)). I know how crappy it can be sometimes. Just take this time to cry it out and try to go do something for yourself today like a pedicure or some shopping.
I understand how it feels when people say how nice etc you are...but no guy seems to appreciate it. It's easy to feel that there's something wrong with you, but we have to tell ourselves that we just haven't found the right person yet. I know it's discouraging, but we are in the same boat. I'm sure there are nice guys out there feeling the same way. I've learned that it doesn't matter how beautiful/successful/skinny etc you are....finding someone who is a good match is sometimes daunting. Hugs...

[hobs209]

Hugs to you. I'm sorry it's been rough lately. You're doing great work on yourself but everyone still has days they feel like shit. Since you don't want to be alone or around many people, what about taking yourself out for a late lunch and renting a movie? I looove comedies when I'm down.

[marigoldgirl]

I am sorry you are feeling like that. Even though you know it will pass it still is shitting in the moment.
When I don't want to be alone but do not want to be social. I go shopping or a movie. I am around people but do not have to be social. It helped me feel less alone.

[Lauren88]

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this today. ({) (}) I know how you feel and have been struggling with my days of extreme sadness to anger at my STBXH.

Last weekend was a bad one and I felt just like you're describing. I'm was also feeling like I'll never meet anyone and I'm doomed to be single and living with my parents forever. I stayed home, in bed all weekend, just watching movies and reading. I think it helped me to just deal with the feelings, cry whenever I needed to and just take the time to grieve.

I guess I would suggest just wallowing in your sadness if you need to. It's so much work to put on a happy face so if you feel sad, just cry. Release those emotions because holding them in will only be worse in the long run. And you know you won't be feeling sad like this forever so hopefully that can be a little reassuring for you.

Please just be easy on yourself and be sad and cry all day if you need to. Sending you another big hug your way. If you ever want to talk, send me a PM and I'm also in our FB group if you wanted to send me a message that way.

[dakotadangerdog]

Big hugs!

[blackkitty]

I'm sorry you are having a hard time. Break ups suck. They are hard but as my mom always says "this too shall pass". Every day it will get a little easier and before you know it he'll just be "someone that you used to know". In regards to: "why haven't I found someone who can *truly* appreciate that?" I probably sound bitter but I'd just say eh, guys suck. Don't expect too much from them. You're better off being happy without a guy around. They are too much trouble.

[Deleted]

I can totally relate. I've been feeling the same way since moving out of my house. You're not alone. What I try to tell myself is that you think people are doing better, moving on faster but it's not always the reality. Focus on yourself and hopefully it gives you the energy to get where you want to be.

[BookLover]

I'm sorry you've been having a rough time. I hope it's better today. I completely understand how you feel. I get down every so often and it's a crummy feeling. July is usually my down month for personal reasons and I know when you're feeling down, it just sucks the energy out of you. I say, pamper yourself and just take time to yourself, or whatever makes you happy usually.

[explorer2001]

Hugs to everyone. I could use some TLC myself. I think this afternoon is going to involve baking and then eating a few dozen cookies.

[doriswe]

I'm sober now but I STILL think burning some shit might help!!

[redredwine]

I totally understand and a matter of fact, I recently felt the same way. Its shitty though I know it's normal and you're not alone in feeling this way.
I don't have a ton of advice other than allow yourself to feel this way, get it out. What strangely made me feel better was realizing how little I do feel this way and how strong I am. I gave myself a little self tough love pep talk, decided I needed to start to change things, and that's when I decided to finally make the move across town. It's given me a new focus and something to look forward to. I guess what I'm saying is try and put your focus and energies on things that matter. I know, easier said than done!

Hang in there.

[bullygirl979]

Thanks everyone. I am doing a bit better today. I got swift slaps from Doris and JM to knock some sense into me. And I had a talk with my favorite aunt over the weekend. She helped me to look at this as a learning experience and that it was a period for me to grow and learn things about myself which will make me a better person for when the right guy does come into my life.

[doriswe]

*burn shit*

[usedtobebear]

So sorry hun, I think we all have moments like this. It's perfectly normal to feel sorry for yourself!! I hope today is a better day for you, it WILL get better, I just keep telling myself this too.

[Deleted]

e-hugs!

[bowies]

Hugs bully! Down days are the suck, and I fully endorse Doris's suggest to burn some shit. Just do it safely, preferably not in or around Colorado.

I know it sounds uber-cheesy, but somewhere there's a dude wondering when you're going to show up in his life and hoping you're not preoccupied with some asshole when he finally bumps into you. So be happy Z and XH are moving on - there'll be less of an asshole stench around you.

[liubotflittyfud]

I don't know if I'm ever the one to give advice, but I know where you are coming from and it blows.

I've come to the conclusion that if you feel that you have a lot to offer someone, then you do. You just were with the wrong people. The one who deserves you will come around when the time is right. Things work out in strange ways.

It's okay to be sad and upset. It's okay to hate feeling alone. If I were you, I would make a list of all of the things you can offer someone, be it a friend, a bf, your mom, etc. You are so many things to so many people. The sadness passes. Drinking either makes it better or worse, usually worse for me, and it's okay to feel angry at your exes because they seem like they take it less hard than you do. You just have to keep in mind that everyone deals with it differently. It's a loss.

You will be okay because you have been before. You are strong and you know what the next step is. Just take your time and let it out.

[riverpestie]

Jul 14, 2012 10:52:44 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

I honestly haven't felt this down in a really long time. For the past few days, I just haven't been able to shake it.

It is stupid but I just feel so alone. After I drunk texted Z the other day we have been going back and forth with these stupid text messages. It's to the point where I just want him totally out of my life. He had a bunch of stuff still at my place and I will be packing that while he is gone away on training and I will tell him that he can pick it up when he gets back.

I just feel like everyone (i.e. him and my XH) is/has moved on with their lives and are happy. And I can barely type this because I am crying so hard. Rationally I know that Z hasn't moved on and I know he isn't happy because he is just an unhappy person at the core (part of the reason we broke up) but it just FEELS like he is moving on and I am not.

I know I will sound like I am 5 but if just feels so unfair. If I am so nice/cute/funny/loyal that everyone says that I am, then why haven't I found someone who can *truly* appreciate that? Please don't tell me to go get happy with myself because I am. I feel like I have A LOT to offer someone and I know that I would make a good partner.

I am doing what I need to do. I am still in counseling, I get together with my friends, I signed up for 4 new meetup groups today. But it doesn't help the fact that at this moment, I am so fucking sad that I feel like I can't even leave the house. I don't want to be around anyone right now but I don't want to sit here alone....

Fuck.

I am sorry you're sad, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you DID get to make out with the hottest single guy in this entire city!!

[doriswe]

Jul 16, 2012 16:21:46 GMT -5 riverpestie said:

Jul 14, 2012 10:52:44 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

I honestly haven't felt this down in a really long time. For the past few days, I just haven't been able to shake it.

It is stupid but I just feel so alone. After I drunk texted Z the other day we have been going back and forth with these stupid text messages. It's to the point where I just want him totally out of my life. He had a bunch of stuff still at my place and I will be packing that while he is gone away on training and I will tell him that he can pick it up when he gets back.

I just feel like everyone (i.e. him and my XH) is/has moved on with their lives and are happy. And I can barely type this because I am crying so hard. Rationally I know that Z hasn't moved on and I know he isn't happy because he is just an unhappy person at the core (part of the reason we broke up) but it just FEELS like he is moving on and I am not.

I know I will sound like I am 5 but if just feels so unfair. If I am so nice/cute/funny/loyal that everyone says that I am, then why haven't I found someone who can *truly* appreciate that? Please don't tell me to go get happy with myself because I am. I feel like I have A LOT to offer someone and I know that I would make a good partner.

I am doing what I need to do. I am still in counseling, I get together with my friends, I signed up for 4 new meetup groups today. But it doesn't help the fact that at this moment, I am so fucking sad that I feel like I can't even leave the house. I don't want to be around anyone right now but I don't want to sit here alone....

Fuck.

I am sorry you're sad, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you DID get to make out with the hottest single guy in this entire city!!

I may or may not have cyber stalked him and agree with this statement!! And I reminded her of that this weekend!!

[riverpestie]

Seriously... the hottest.

[bullygirl979]

Jul 16, 2012 16:23:36 GMT -5 riverpestie said:

Seriously... the hottest.

Bwhahahaha! I seriously love you and Doris. For real.

[bullygirl979]

Jul 16, 2012 16:18:50 GMT -5 @liubotflittyfud said:

I don't know if I'm ever the one to give advice, but I know where you are coming from and it blows.

I've come to the conclusion that if you feel that you have a lot to offer someone, then you do. You just were with the wrong people. The one who deserves you will come around when the time is right. Things work out in strange ways.

It's okay to be sad and upset. It's okay to hate feeling alone. If I were you, I would make a list of all of the things you can offer someone, be it a friend, a bf, your mom, etc. You are so many things to so many people. The sadness passes. Drinking either makes it better or worse, usually worse for me, and it's okay to feel angry at your exes because they seem like they take it less hard than you do. You just have to keep in mind that everyone deals with it differently. It's a loss.

You will be okay because you have been before. You are strong and you know what the next step is. Just take your time and let it out.

That is actually great advice LFF. I especially like the bolded part :Y:

[bullygirl979]

Jul 16, 2012 14:55:47 GMT -5 bowies said:

I know it sounds uber-cheesy, but somewhere there's a dude wondering when you're going to show up in his life and hoping you're not preoccupied with some asshole when he finally bumps into you. So be happy Z and XH are moving on - there'll be less of an asshole stench around you.

Love this too!

[riverpestie]

Not only did she make out with him, but his freaking shirt was off! ...And I may or may not have heard a shower running. ;-)

Oh and LOVE YOU and Doris TOOO!!!!!!!!!!!