Toddler Biting Poll

[CrazyLucky]

I have two kids in daycare. DS is almost 4 and DD is 21 months. They both went through biting phases when they were about 18 months old. Both were suspended for three days. DS's phase was pretty quick. DD is still in this very long and annoying phase. She bites for anything or nothing. She hasn't bitten at daycare in a couple of months, but DS is still a frequent victim.
They were also both bitten several times. Since they were biters I could hardly be pissed. Except for one time DS was bitten right next to his eye and it drew blood. That's a serious bite!

[Brie]

Is your child in daycare? Yes

How old are they now? 19 months

How old were they when they started? 3 months

How many times has s/he been bitten?  A lot?  There was a rough phase between 12-15 months where their room was a veritable piranha tank.  I've probably signed 5-6 incident reports for biting.

How many times has s/he bitten others? I've only had to sign a "your kid was a biter" incident report once.  He's probably snuck a few more in though.

What is your daycare's biting policy (beyond incident reports)? (Do you know what their plan of action is for biters and the length of time the plan is put in place for until expulsion?)  Our daycare is a center, but it's smaller and locally-owned (so not a chain).  I don't think there is a written policy.  I think they recognize that biting is a developmentally normal phase, and work through it using time-outs and redirection.   His main teacher has been there for ages working with young toddlers, and she says that biting is really common right before their language explodes because they get very frustrated.  I found that to be true--around 15 months, they were all more able to communicate (either via talking or signing, which they teach) and the biting decreased dramatically.  There is a handout posted outside the door that's basically "DON'T PANIC, BITING IS NORMAL."  I know our director pretty well, and I feel like there would have to be other issues besides the biting (obvious emotional disturbances, lack of parent reinforcement at home, etc) to get expelled.

[schrodinger]

May 1, 2014 14:14:47 GMT -5 spunbutterfly said:

Is your child in daycare?

How old are they now?

How old were they when they started?

How many times has s/he been bitten?

How many times has s/he bitten others?

What is your daycare's biting policy (beyond incident reports)? (Do you know what their plan of action is for biters and the length of time the plan is put in place for until expulsion?)

Is your child in daycare? Yes

How old are they now? 15 months

How old were they when they started? 4 months

How many times has s/he been bitten? 3 or 4 times, all since moving to the 12-18month room though

How many times has s/he bitten others? Hasn't yet

What is your daycare's biting policy (beyond incident reports)? (Do you know what their plan of action is for biters and the length of time the plan is put in place for until expulsion?) I don't think they have anything really specific.  Paraphrasing, their policy says "habitual biters will be considered for expulsion if the plan implemented by parents and teachers isn't successful."  Basically, their policy is that they want to make sure that you and the teachers are both working to prevent it, but they won't go so far as to add staff to keep a kid in their care.

DD seems to be a target for most of the biters, which sucks.  We know the two kids in her class that bite because we've overheard the teachers talking to the parents at pick up.  It sucks all around.  No fun having your kid get bitten, but there's not a ton you can do if your kid is the biter.

[BAMFMrsB]

Is your child in daycare? Yep

How old are they now? 21mo

How old were they when they started? 4mo

How many times has s/he been bitten? LOTS

How many times has s/he bitten others? LOTS

What is your daycare's biting policy (beyond incident reports)? (Do you know what their plan of action is for biters and the length of time the plan is put in place for until expulsion?) I don't know that they have one for expulsion. I would be very surprised if they did. DS had more incident reports during teething than he has had since 18mo+. It's much more rare now.

I know they heavily monitor the biters and will put a 1x1 teacher to try to correct the behavior in the moment so the kids learn "we do NOT bite our friends or teachers. That's a NO."

 

[dottyblue]

May 1, 2014 14:14:47 GMT -5 spunbutterfly said:

Is your child in daycare? Yes

How old are they now? 18 months

How old were they when they started? Started biting, or started daycare?  Started daycare when he was 12 weeks.  He has never bitten anyone at daycare.  Just me (I'm so lucky!)

How many times has s/he been bitten?  2x

How many times has s/he bitten others? 0x

What is your daycare's biting policy (beyond incident reports)? (Do you know what their plan of action is for biters and the length of time the plan is put in place for until expulsion?)  We use an in home and there is no formal, written policy.  At this point they are keeping the biter away from my DS except for when they are VERY closely supervised.  During free-play times they are in two separate play rooms with a gate keeping them apart since my DS is the only child the biter is targeting.  Poor baby   as far as I am aware there is no plan for expulsion, and I'm ok with that.

[schrodinger]

May 1, 2014 14:24:30 GMT -5 spunbutterfly said:

Sadly, for whatever reason, the center has not followed through on any of these plans as far as I am aware of as a parent, given my child is still getting bitten. We're looking into other daycares and I've sent a polite, but angry, letter to the area coordinator of our daycare chain. I already had a meeting with the director 1.5 months ago.

I'd be livid if they weren't following their own policy.  If they commit to having someone with the biter 1x1, then they need to follow through with that.

[catbus]

I know why you're asking about this, and I'm sorry. 

Is your child in daycare? Yes

How old are they now? 19 months

How old were they when they started? 3 months

How many times has s/he been bitten? Just 2-3 times, never hard.

How many times has s/he bitten others? Never

What is your daycare's biting policy (beyond incident reports)? (Do you know what their plan of action is for biters and the length of time the plan is put in place for until expulsion?) They remove the biter from the situation ASAP but do not segregate from the other kids (e.g., the kid who bit is not punished for biting). They say "we do not bite our friends," talk about "gentle touches" and "playing nicely," and praise the behavior they want to see. I do not know what the long-term plan is for chronic biters who haven't responded to distraction/redirection/light admonishment. I honestly would not want to see another kid expelled for developmentally-normal behavior, though. 

[Ashley&Scott]

Is your child in daycare?

Yes - center

How old are they now?

27 months

How old were they when they started?

9 weeks

How many times has s/he been bitten?

Lots (at least 10)

How many times has s/he bitten others?

Lots (at least 10)

What is your daycare's biting policy (beyond incident reports)? (Do you know what their plan of action is for biters and the length of time the plan is put in place for until expulsion?)

They recognize biting is a phase & part of toddler development. I don't think they expel or suspend, at least not that I'm aware of. They do redirect, remove from situation, watch biters closely. If it's teething related they give things like teethers, cold wash cloths, other chew toys. If it's aggression related they work on showing the kids other appropriate ways to express themselves. 

[catbus]

May 1, 2014 14:37:10 GMT -5 spunbutterfly said:

May 1, 2014 14:33:22 GMT -5 catbus said:

I know why you're asking about this, and I'm sorry. 

Is your child in daycare? Yes

How old are they now? 19 months

How old were they when they started? 3 months

How many times has s/he been bitten? Just 2-3 times, never hard.

How many times has s/he bitten others? Never

What is your daycare's biting policy (beyond incident reports)? (Do you know what their plan of action is for biters and the length of time the plan is put in place for until expulsion?) They remove the biter from the situation ASAP but do not segregate from the other kids (e.g., the kid who bit is not punished for biting). They say "we do not bite our friends," talk about "gentle touches" and "playing nicely," and praise the behavior they want to see. I do not know what the long-term plan is for chronic biters who haven't responded to distraction/redirection/light admonishment.

I figured I should get more anecdotes to see if I'm overreacting. A lot of my ECE friends and friends who used to be daycare teachers say the school is not doing enough. A teacher in the _school_ said they are not getting the administrative support they need since early dismissal is an administrative decision. I totally get it is normal behavior, but last week he got bit while sitting waiting for the teachers to finish pouring out milk for lunch. Like, the kid just stood up and bit my kid on his back out of nowhere. Which... what? And he still has teeth marks on his back from the bite on Monday. It hasn't bruised over yet or yellow-faded. :/ I think if it had just been a little harder, he'd have broken skin again.

I think it's reasonable to be frustrated by the situation, especially if the teachers see the problem but are not getting the administrative support they need. I just hope the kid who's biting is not being shamed for his behavior, because (to go all psych. 101) that could lead to more biting, you know? S/he needs positive reinforcement of the desired behavior. I would be sad if they expel the kid for this, but also sad if you have to pull Thor.

[Ashley&Scott]

May 1, 2014 14:33:22 GMT -5 catbus said:

I know why you're asking about this, and I'm sorry. 

Is your child in daycare? Yes

How old are they now? 19 months

How old were they when they started? 3 months

How many times has s/he been bitten? Just 2-3 times, never hard.

How many times has s/he bitten others? Never

What is your daycare's biting policy (beyond incident reports)? (Do you know what their plan of action is for biters and the length of time the plan is put in place for until expulsion?) They remove the biter from the situation ASAP but do not segregate from the other kids (e.g., the kid who bit is not punished for biting). They say "we do not bite our friends," talk about "gentle touches" and "playing nicely," and praise the behavior they want to see. I do not know what the long-term plan is for chronic biters who haven't responded to distraction/redirection/light admonishment. I honestly would not want to see another kid expelled for developmentally-normal behavior, though. 

This is a much better explanation & exactly what my center does. It's the same method for hitting & pushing.