Do you ever feel disconnected with your pregnancy?

[gretchenindisguise]

I'm sure I experienced this with #1 as well. It's that weird spot where I'm feeling mostly normal, can't feel any kicks.

I've had enough u/s to know the babe is there and wiggling around. I'm definitely showing. My boobs are huge.

But I still feel quite disconnected. Almost like those things are happening to someone else.

Am I the only odd ball? It's ok to say yes.

[kaybee85]

Well, this is my first pregnancy and I'm really early. I feel connected to the idea of baby, but I do not feel like my pregnancy is real yet, and I'm really freaked out about the baby sticking. Occasionally I realize that there is a concrete person coming into existence relatively soon, and that feels very weird.

[mrspost08]

I've felt movement twice. I am planning for maternity leaf at work by getting everything prepared but otherwise nothing feels real. My PGAL mind keeps thinking something will go wrong.

[rbp]

I feel disconnected...almost all the time. I don't "get" this whole miracle of life thing. I mean, I am thankful that I was able to get pregnant, but I just can't get excited about being kicked in the ribs or being winded from walking up one flight of steps. My mom asks me every.single.week whether we've picked out a name, and I want to scream. Last time I told her "ask me two days after he's born and I'll tell you his name."

We've also done...um, nothing...to prepare our house. 

[aqualuv]

I've felt that way pretty much the entire first trimester. Miscarriages run in my family and I've had one already myself. So I was pretty nervous and I didn't want to get excited in case I lost the baby.

I feel better now at 25 weeks. It definitely helps now that I can feel the baby moving around.

[mandymay]

Yes! I'm totally in that zone right now. I'm mainly over morning sickness (thank goodness) and my stomach is bigger, but mostly wider so I don't look very pregnant if you don't know me and it was almost surreal to hear the heartbeat on the doppler this morning. I think I'm starting to feel little taps though, but not very often so it's easy to forget that I'm growing a person and that our lives are going to be more hectic at the end of October.

I remember feeling this way with my daughter too. I don't think I got over it until around 34 weeks and it was easier to connect with her wiggling around and my looking enormous I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way!

[narockshard]

Not necessarily disconnected, but it seems so abstract still! Like I just can't picture that I have OUR baby inside of me and I will meet him/her face to face for the first time in a few weeks.

[Bonita]

Yeah I definitely feel disconnected...or something. It's not really disbelief because like you said, I've had enough ultrasounds and morning sickness to know there is a baby there, but I guess it's still sort of surreal? I'm not really looking like I'm pregnant yet mostly I just look like I've had one too many doughnuts, so that's maybe part of it. We also got pregnant really quickly, which was very unexpected for me since I thought it would take quite a while...so everything has just caught me off guard.

[thatgirl2478]

May 8, 2014 17:57:47 GMT -5 gretchenindisguise said:

I'm sure I experienced this with #1 as well. It's that weird spot where I'm feeling mostly normal, can't feel any kicks.

I've had enough u/s to know the babe is there and wiggling around. I'm definitely showing. My boobs are huge.

But I still feel quite disconnected. Almost like those things are happening to someone else.

Am I the only odd ball? It's ok to say yes.

No.  I'm feeling the same way.  Exactly the same way.  It's part of the reason that I'm anxious for my appointment next week

[sillygoosegirl]

Like, all the time? I feel kind of like a failure, since IRL and on the internet, almost everyone seems to think I'm supposed to be all head-over-heals in-love with this thing inside of me that at best has been doing nothing, but other times makes me feel sick. I don't feel like I'm having a baby. I FEEL like I've contracted some horrible disease.

[rbp]

May 8, 2014 21:10:12 GMT -5 sillygoosegirl said:

Like, all the time? I feel kind of like a failure, since IRL and on the internet, almost everyone seems to think I'm supposed to be all head-over-heals in-love with this thing inside of me that at best has been doing nothing, but other times makes me feel sick. I don't feel like I'm having a baby. I FEEL like I've contracted some horrible disease.

One of my male coworkers keeps telling me that pregnancy is the best time of a woman's life and I should "be happy all the time."  :?

Also, two store clerks today have congratulated me out of the blue. I have to remind myself every time what they're talking about. I guess I'm getting fat.  (wilted)

Oh, and one of my friends was appalled that I'm not taking bump pics to record how I look pregnant. I just don't get it!

[chickadee77]

Yes. With two second tri losses, this time around I felt as though I just couldn't do it again until I knew it was real. I'm starting to feel more connected now at almost 33 weeks, because I'm forcing myself to do some preparations, some shopping, that kind of thing. It helps, even though I'm forcing it.

(((hugs))) It's okay.

[blushing]

Not disconnected, but I sometimes forget that I am pregnant. I have a belly and SPD so it shouldn't be that hard, but sometimes I will rush out of bed or off the sofa and then pay for it with pain because I forgot I have to becareful because I am pregnant.

[natsnow]

I have a hard time remembering it's real sometimes. I'm also getting really tired of feeling like crap all the time. I am excited to tell our parents soon, so that helps.

[kaybee85]

May 9, 2014 9:12:34 GMT -5 @astrid said:

I'm mostly connected to symptoms at this point. I know they're good because it means the hormones are supporting the baby and blah blah blah, but the symptoms kick my ass far more than I'm excited to be pregnant. That sounds pretty horrible typed out.

I kind of have the opposite issue - I really have very few symptoms, which makes me wonder if something's wrong.

[Wonderwall]

May 8, 2014 17:57:47 GMT -5 gretchenindisguise said:

I'm sure I experienced this with #1 as well. It's that weird spot where I'm feeling mostly normal, can't feel any kicks.

I've had enough u/s to know the babe is there and wiggling around. I'm definitely showing. My boobs are huge.

But I still feel quite disconnected. Almost like those things are happening to someone else.

Am I the only odd ball? It's ok to say yes.

Be patient with yourself.. I didn't start to feel any flutters until 18 weeks.. and I do feel like my connection with this little critter has grown a bunch since then.

What you're feeling is normal.

[ngdgtco]

May 9, 2014 12:21:11 GMT -5 kaybee85 said:

May 9, 2014 9:12:34 GMT -5 @astrid said:

I'm mostly connected to symptoms at this point. I know they're good because it means the hormones are supporting the baby and blah blah blah, but the symptoms kick my ass far more than I'm excited to be pregnant. That sounds pretty horrible typed out.

I kind of have the opposite issue - I really have very few symptoms, which makes me wonder if something's wrong.

It is really hard to not be freaked about having no symptoms, but it really is true that they don't mean you are any less pregnant. At 23 weeks I can definitely look back and be thankful that I had almost nothing telling me I was pregnant until I started to gain weight and feel the baby kick!

I think about the baby a lot, but I still feel disconnected, or "forget." I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror while getting undressed the other night and was like, woah, where did that belly come from?! And it takes me a second to realize what they are talking about when strangers comment.

[KaraOrNot]

I am so disconnected. We have done no prep and really haven't even talked about doing anything for the baby (including daycares, nursery plans, names, etc). I think I am trying to protect myself, if something goes wrong. We tried for 2.5 years and really, if something goes wrong, I may never get pregnant again. It doesn't help that I haven't felt any movement and I still haven't heard a heartbeat. I was confident that if things went well after the NT scan, I would start to prepare. I pushed it to the A/S, which is on the 19th, but I still don't feel comfortable or ready. Ugh.

[pennylane]

I'm in a bit of disbelief and feeling weird about the whole thing. I know logically I saw a baby wiggling about in there. I haven't felt too much excitement over pregnancy yet- maybe announcing will help with that. We've been keeping it a secret until this weekend and that's been hard for me.

[Odonata]

I was, then I wasn't, now I think I am disconnected again.

I couldn't sleep last night so my mind was running around and I got to thinking how I just eased into the concept of being pregnant. Like, it's just what I am now and I'm going to be a mom - and it's very normal and not at all shocking or crazy or exciting. It's just what is going on now. Which I guess is a great thing. It's always great to live in the present and not worry too much about the future.

And it's strange to me because 1) it's all I've ever wanted and I seriously thought it would NEVER happen to me and 2) I use to fantasize about what it would be like to be pregnant while I was TTC - how I would probably be in complete awe all the time that I was growing a human in my abdomen. But most of the time I'm not. I'm not at all as excited as I thought I would be.

And then I started to think - holy shit! I have a PERSON currently living in my abdomen. And I'm growing it. All of a sudden it dawned on me - Like this person is going to grow up and have a family of its own maybe one day - and I'll be "mom" who they probably won't call EVER unless I nag. And one day I'll die and this human will continue to live on past me (so we all hope) once I'm gone. But right now it's living and growing inside me and all I can "feel" to connect myself with this future life history is intense gas pain and bloat, which is keeping me up.

AND then I really couldn't fall asleep after all of that.
And then I also realized how much I missed the ability to just have 2-3 glasses of wine to shut up my brain so I could fall asleep! lol

[Odonata]

May 9, 2014 9:12:34 GMT -5 @astrid said:

I'm mostly connected to symptoms at this point. I know they're good because it means the hormones are supporting the baby and blah blah blah, but the symptoms kick my ass far more than I'm excited to be pregnant. That sounds pretty horrible typed out.

It sounds horrible but honestly, you're not the only one.  I HATED my first trimester.  

What sounds horrible to think and type out is it got to one point where the thought popped into my head "well at least if I miscarry this one, too, I'll feel better again."  I felt horrible - after my losses and all I put myself through with fertility treatments and the crying every month it didn't work - how the hell could I even think this!?


Hang in there but don't feel bad about having symptom hate trump baby excitement right now! 

[starfish79]

Yes, disconnected, abstract. Thank you for having the courage to say it.