Baby at funeral?

[Deleted]

Where I live it's perfectly okay to take a baby to a funeral. Esp. at 7 weeks old. They don't move or all that noisy.

If I can though, I leave my kids home simply because it's too much work for me. Esp. at family funerals where I see long lost cousins etc. and would rather chitchat than kid wrangle.

[wonderfezz]

I brought K to my grandFIL's funeral when he was 8w. People were actually thanking me for bringing him since he was making everyone smile.

[VillainV]

We're taking our 6-week-old to our neighbor's funeral on Thursday. She was an older woman, and she was very supportive of our pregnancy, and got to meet C a few times before she passed. If he starts getting fussy in church, then one of us will take him out until he quiets down.

[Brie]

I'm so sorry.

Yes, I think it's fine, especially at that age. Just use common sense and leave if she starts screaming.

[imojoebunny]

A seven week old, I would take in a heart beat. I don't consider them kids, and there are many reasons why leaving them with a caregiver would be harder than with an older baby. Maybe call the sanctuary and see if they have a cry room, where you can still see/hear the service if you need to go in there (they had one at my mother in laws service, it was very nice, with a one way glass and a speaker, so I could see and hear, but have not had them at other services I have gone to). Otherwise, just sit in the back, in case you need to step out. My condolences on the loss of your friend.

[turtlegirl]

I brought my 6 week old to my grandma's funeral. I wore him and he slept during the whole service at the church. He of course woke up as soon as I got him out and into the car and screamed the whole car ride over to the cemetery, so I nursed him in the car while everyone else attending the burial.

It was one of my first "NIP" type experiences and I remember thinking "Never thought I'd be nursing a baby at a cemetery - but ya gotta do what you gotta do".

At the wake at my grandparents house afterwards a lot of extended family were happy to see the baby and many of them hadn't met him yet.

[kdubs923]

I took DS to a funeral when he was about 8 or 9 weeks old. I just made sure to sit near the back in case he cried as I didn't want to disrupt the service.

At the funeral I went to, people were excited to see a baby. Death is (obviously) such a sad time, but seeing a baby seems to make people feel optimistic. New life and all.

I just made sure to keep DS in his carseat during the service and wore him during the collation to ward off germy people. I let them look from afar as he hadn't even had his 2 month shots yet.

So sorry for your loss... how sad

[lilac05]

I just took my 9 mo & 3.5 year old boys to my grandpa's funeral recently. I didn't have any other options. My husband was out of the country, the funeral was out of state, and my whole family was obviously at the funeral, too. It was fine. If anything, most people seemed to like seeing them there...a circle of life reminder & a reason to smile amidst the sadness.

At 7 weeks, I absolutely would not hesitate, especially since he showed interest in your child. Just sit somewhere where y can easily leave if the baby starts to cry.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[6fsn]

I'm sorry for your loss.

Since this is a coworker I would err on the side of caution and not bring the baby. Family would be different.

[undecidedowl]

So sorry for your loss.

At that age, yes. Just try to sit in the back and check out where to make a quick exit if necessary.

[caramia17]

I am sorry for your loss.

We took Caramini to an OOT family funeral at 13 weeks. There was a mix up and my mother left my H and I without the car keys at the house where we were staying, so we were a smidge late to the church service. We came in making a racket with all the stuff than jangles on a diaper bag at that age and then Caramini proceeded to have the longest, loudest, poosplosion possible. People turned around in the pews. My H took her out and got her cleaned up. It was still OK. Circle of life and all of that.

[jeaniebueller]

May 13, 2014 13:24:13 GMT -5 6fsn said:

I'm sorry for your loss.

Since this is a coworker I would err on the side of caution and not bring the baby. Family would be different.

Ditto.

[qcinoct]

I'm sorry for your loss.

My FIL passed away when DS1 was 7 months. We brought him to the visitation and funeral. People were happy to see him as it was a good distraction and some happiness in the face of sorrow.

[6fsn]

I must be one of the few that sees a difference between a coworker and family. I KNOW my family would be ok with babies at a funeral. The last thing I would want is to upset someone else at an already terrible time. Since this is a question, I'm guessing you don't really know how the family would feel. Why risk it?

[qcinoct]

May 13, 2014 13:14:39 GMT -5 kdubs923 said:

I just made sure to keep DS in his carseat during the service and wore him during the collation to ward off germy people. I let them look from afar as he hadn't even had his 2 month shots yet.

definitely consider this. It wasn't an option for us to not bring DS to FILs funeral, but he get really sick right afterwards, which I'm sure was due to all the people touching the cute baby. Given that your little one is still quite wee, I'd keep him in a carrier to minimize contact

[docholly]

I have had to take the kids to two funerals. It worked really well. When ODS got noisey, I just took him out. I find that younger than 6 months they do really well. As far as what I would prefer, I would prefer not to take the kids, just because it is added stress and work.

[crazycakes]

At 7w I would think the baby would sleep through it. I took DD to a funeral just a couple of months ago, so she was about 9 months. She was fine. There were a couple other little ones there. It was no big deal. We sat in the very back so we could make a quick getaway if needed, but luckily didn't have to.

The family of the deceased actually thanked me for bringing her, since it was a nice distraction from the sad event.

[Deleted]

I would take my baby and not think twice. I've never known an occasion where wearing my 7 week old and leaving if they cry is offensive. Any funeral I've been at has appreciated babies as part of the circle of life.

[gibbinator]

I'm sorry.

We took ds to a funeral when he was around 2 months old. He just slept through it. I kind of think babies make funerals a bit more... Well happy isn't the word, but less depressing certainly.
Just leave the room if she's fussing.

[jeaniebueller]

There is a huge difference between the funeral of a coworker, where you need to maintain a semblance of professionalism and may not be close to the family, and the funeral of a family member IMO.

[rugbywife]

I had to take my LO (under 4w old) to a funeral recently, she was still too young to leave with my DH alone for a few hours. I wasn't the only one with a baby there.

[SallySparrow]

Well, we recently (as in yesterday) left DD with a sitter while we went to DH's grandpa's funeral. At seven weeks when she would still pass put and sleep anywhere,I may have taken her. But she fights sleep and she's in the middle of her stranger anxiety phase, so we opted not to.

I don't know that there's a right or wrong answer here. I'm sorry about your co-worker.

[Deleted]

May 13, 2014 19:15:48 GMT -5 @dontcallmeshirley1 said:

May 13, 2014 17:23:57 GMT -5 jeaniebueller said:

There is a huge difference between the funeral of a coworker, where you need to maintain a semblance of professionalism and may not be close to the family, and the funeral of a family member IMO.

I feel like professionalism is the wrong word to describe behavior at a funeral unless you are somehow "working" it (clergy, funeral home staff, etc). I mean, you're already crossing the boundary into this person's personal life by attending the acknowledgment of his death, which is pretty intimate. Everyone else, co-worker or not, need only abide by common decency, and bringing a seven-week-old and leaving if the baby demands falls within those boundaries. 

That's where I'm at. If I'm not close enough to bring my newborn, I'm not close enough to go to the funeral. I'd sign a card and chip in for flowers and call it a day before I'd get a sitter for a 7 week old to go to a funeral.

It's a personal call, but I don't think it's "unprofessional" to bring a baby to a funeral. It's not unprofessional to have a baby.