Do you regret anything?

[malibu]

I know, this is a perfect thread for the chicken gif.

I don't have a lot of regrets. But there are a few major ones that have impacted how my life has turned out, mistakes I made that I wish I could go back and correct.

I've had a difficult marriage. I've very briefly posted about it but I'm not in a place where I want to do much about it at this point. I wish I hadn't gotten married when I did, I wish I'd paid a little more attention to the flags rather than worrying about losing deposits at venues. It's not a bad marriage, we love each other, but there have been some very difficult times.

I never got a four year degree. Junior high/high school was torture for me. I've also posted about the bullying I dealt with as a tween/teen. I wound up doing the post-secondary option while I was in high school, and got my 2-year community college degree at the same time as high school graduation. I made the mistake of deciding to "wait a year" (ha. ha. ha.) before continuing on to a four year degree. I was 18 and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life at that point. Since I had already finished my generals, I didn't have another two years to make decisions. I wound up scrapping college altogether. I fell into accounting and have done OK in the field regardless of not having a degree. I went back to school in fall 2009 for accounting after I realized I was pretty good at it. I haven't graduated yet though. My H was going to school at the same time, and I got pregnant in 2010. I made it to 2011 before I stopped going because two full time working parents both going to school with a toddler was pretty much impossible. I regret not picking something to go to school for when I was younger. We've had a lot of financial stress, and I wish I'd had a better start at a better paying job in my 20s.

I regret the financial decisions I made when I was 18. I took out a bunch of credit cards and racked up a lot of debt. It took me over ten years to pay it all off and my credit was affected. Had I understood how they worked better, I never would have done that.

On the more personal side, I never said goodbye to my grandmother, who died when I was 17. I had plans to see her one weekend and decided to put it off until the next weekend. It wasn't even for any fun plans or a very good reason, just that I didn't feel like it. Well, as you can guess, she didn't make it to the next weekend. I still haven't forgiven myself for that. 17 year old me was an idiot.

[iamgrace]

Oh yeah. Yeah. Yep. Lots.

[papie]

No regrets chicken here!

[Marle]

I try not to. Whatever I did it's taken me where I am and I can't complain. I usually am ok with regretting things I didn't do. Like buying tickets to a concert that turned out to be great.

[Deleted]

Yes.  

Mistakes.  

Nothing intentional. 

I have had good intentions, well until B, but that's turned out very above board.  Yay for a man friend!

Sometimes I didn't know my mistake until I was down that road.  

[flex]

I regret marrying #1 & 2 ex-dh's. Live and learn.
I regret not sobering up sooner, but once again...live and learn.

Most recent regret: not visiting my friend after he was diagnosed with liver cancer. We kept trying to meet up for lunch, and then he'd get sick and have to go to the hospital. I regret not pushing harder to see him.

Other than that, I have very few regrets. Most of my regrets are the choices I made when I was young.

[underwaterrhymes]

I regret things I've said or done - either inadvertently or purposefully - that have hurt people.

Otherwise, no. Even things that have sucked in the meantime have had outcomes that were awesome even if I couldn't see it at the time.

[pandorica]

I probably should regret ever getting married the first time, but if I hadn't then I wouldn't be where I am today. I can't imagine my life being any different than it is right now, since it's just about perfect.

I do wish I had more fun in college, but I think I made up for it a bit in grad school.

[Deleted]

Yes

[ZoeHart]

I regret not spending more time with my grandma when I was in high school. She had horrible Alzheimers and after she died I always tried to remember when was the last time I saw her that she remembered who I was and did I say I loved her, etc.

[shananagins]

I had a great offer to get an MFA from Texas Tech 10 years ago. I turned it down because Lubbock.

If I had gone I would be teaching college now instead of middle school, and now I dont have the option to move somewhere with an MFA program.

I wish we had bought a smaller, cheaper house. I love our house, but we are seriously house poor.

[janegold]

Sure, trivial things here and there. But I am happy with my life today and if any of my major decisions had been different, I might not be where I am now.

[aussiecrush]

Only one big one: not telling someone about my abuse sooner.

[CityLights]

Yes...a few major ones.

[ginap]

Yes. I would like a complete do over for years 1998-2000.

[WOT?*]

You're not the only one who made those very same mistakes. I married young, had kids young, was unprepared when he lost his livelihood because I quit college to marry and have kids. I could have made better choices raising my kids.

I also did not say goodbye to my grandmother; I had kids and lived across the country and always used my minimal vacation time with them rather than taking even one weekend to fly out to at least be by my grandmother's bedside as she suffered from Alzheimer's. I didn't see her for almost ten years before she died because "life got in the way." I got a call on Monday that she was ill and two hours later a call that she had died. When that happened I was miraculously able to buy a ticket to get down to her memorial service (I arrived just as they were ready to close the lid on the casket; they actually held over the closing of the casket and removal of the body so I could say goodbye, which was nice of the funeral home to do.) I wish I'd spent the time to fly down to visit her instead of depending on my sisters to keep me in the loop if she wasn't doing well...because they never did. But it was my fault since I never took the time to fly out to visit her in the first place. I did learn a lesson because after that I made sure to fly out to visit my dad each year before he died, and I'm sure to call my mom and talk with her as well.

[lilybug]

I can't really regret my biggest mistakes, because I like where I am now, and I love my kids, and if I'd made the "right" decisions (in retrospect), I would be living a totally different life.

Of course I have small regrets day to day. I try not to dwell on them. ♪♪ Let it GO, let it GO... ♪♪

[Deleted]

I regret taking my oldest daughter to the movies to see Frozen

[margarita]

I try not to. I mean, sure, there are a lot of things I wish I had done differently, but I think there was probably a necessary lesson that came with all of those things, and the way they played out. Live and learn.

[Deleted]

Yes, some major ones that I am still upset about almost 20 years later. I also have a difficult marriage and I have some regrets in that area as well.

[WOT?*]

May 15, 2014 11:43:27 GMT -5 @carmensandiego said:

I regret taking my oldest daughter to the movies to see Frozen

Lordy, yes, and buying the soundtrack!  "Can you put it on disk 5 Grandma? Disk 5, song 2 and then Let It Go, that's song 5."

[BaliHai]

Not really. I wish I hadn't said and done some things, but I don't really consider them regrets as much as mistakes/learning experiences. I don't feel burdened by any decision I've made in my life, which signifies regret for me - and it's only recently that I've realized that.

[sawyerthedestroyer]

I could have been smarter with money when I was younger, but I don't regret anything major because I wouldn't be where I am today, blah blah.

[litebright]

On major life decisions, no. I have some regrets about some of the guys I chose to date. Not because it was horrible, I just could've done better (or better yet, tried to be happier with not dating).

I have definitely made mistakes that hurt people that if I had to do over, I would make a different choice. I don't know if that really counts as a regret, though -- more like the kind of tough lessons/consequences that push you to be a better person.

[Deleted]

I try not to regret anything but I could have made better choices in the past.

Who knows, my life could have ended up the same. I am happy with where I'm at.

[pantsparty]

A few, but I'm very happy with my life. Fuck-ups build character.

[circa1978]

I regret every missed opportunity to spend time with my grandfather. Aside from Henry and my H, he has been the single most important person in my life. I got self-absorbed in college and even though I lived 90 minutes away, I didn't often come home. I read his letters now and think of how lonely he must have been.

The day he died, he scolded about me coming home and I was flippant. It was Christmas day and I should have been home sooner. I wanted to stay at school as long as possible for reasons that make no sense in hindsight. I got there in time to have dinner with him and to watch a movie. He died that night. It has been 15 years and if I could somehow sacrifice anything to change those 36 hours, I would.

[Gato]

malibu, there are very few non-idiot 17 year olds. Don't beat yourself up about that.

You know, my life has not gone according to anyone's script. I've hardly ever done what I was "supposed" to do. I've just kind of been winging it based on intuition and strong desire. So, it has not been a focused life full of ambition, and I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if I had been driven like that. But that's not the person I was, nor who I continue to be. I am very proud of who I am. The life I've lived has been MY life, exactly how I wanted to live it, stupid mistakes and all.

[malibu]

May 15, 2014 11:45:18 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

I think something is only regretful if it had no value and you didn't learn from it.

I agree with this sentiment. However, most of my regrets have significantly affected my life today. I have certainly learned from them (as in, I know what I did wrong in the past) but they're things I can't change now. The schooling/financial ones for me are the reason I'm constantly worried about money. I highly regret those decisions I made as a young adult.

[Deleted]

malibu The paragraph you typed about your marriage is me to a T. I mean it's like you were inside my head. I missed all the flags, and although we love each other very much it has NEVER for a DAY been an easy road.

"He’s odd. He’s angry. He’s uncomfortable in his own skin. He bounces around from thing to thing.” And when she warns her daughter, “I don’t want you to spend your whole life socializing him like he’s a stray dog, making the world a friendlier place for him. It’s not easy being married to an odd man,”

This quote from Girls pretty much sums up what I wish my own Mother had said to me when I was getting engaged to DH. I never thought of what life would be like years down the road. Or that there was a notion that H could make my life easier rather than harder. I thought that was they way things were, marriage made things HARD, socially, financially, emotionally. I never thought I could make a choice to marry someone who would make my road less rocky.