Next year I'm going to Glacier National Park with a friend of mine through work. We've never traveled together and as we begin planning we understandably have different preferences in lodging and activities. I thought a good compromise was to split the week in half and have one person pick the accomodations for the first half and the other person pick the second, as long as both of us were comfortable with the price and didn't feel too put out. She seems to want to control all of the accomodations even after I shared the idea of splitting the decision. For my half of the decision I would like a nice small lodge to come back to at the end of the day with good food and a nice bed. She would like to go "glamping" one half (meals not included) and spend the other half in a rustic cabin where we do all our own cooking. I'd like a little more comfort than that for part of the trip.
When traveling with friends how do you compromise? We get along so well in all other areas of our friendship, I don't want to cancel the trip because we don't agree on some ideas but also don't want to give in on everything.
Post by caddywompus on May 26, 2014 11:52:37 GMT -5
Before I got married, my girlfriend and I used to take a trip every year. When we were planning- we each wrote out a list of all the things we wanted to do on the trip. Then we would get together and compare our lists. We would make a "master list", starting with things we both agreed on, then things that were "must haves" for each of us. Then we would write out an itinerary of what we would do/where to go each day. Once in awhile we would actually split up for a day if we couldn't agree on things. For lodging, we compromised if 1 of us wanted something nicer, then we would do that, as long as the price could be agreed on. Good luck! and don't be afraid to speak up for what you want!
We travel with friends all the time (or meet up with friends while traveling). We're lucky that they tend to have preferences similar to ours, but it can be fun to have more people with us. No tips -- it is just a great way to travel.
The difference in your lodging preferences does not seem insurmountable (and your suggestion is reasonable to me), but her insistence on things her way could be a red flag. Is it due to a concern for cost on her part? Talk to her and try to understand where she's coming from. It could just be that she prefers a more rugged accommodation when visiting a national park. Talk about both your expectations and see if you could understand each other and be flexible to each other's top priorities.
I love traveling with certain friends. We compromise on things and generally enjoy similar types of activities. But there're also friends that I learned to never travel with again, despite how well we get along in other aspects of our lives. Inflexibility is definitely one trait that I find incompatible with when it comes to traveling together.
If it's a major trip, I make sure we're on the same page before I commit to the trip. There are some friends that I can do a weekend with, but I just accept that it's not going to be my style trip, and plan in my head to go back and do it my way some other time.
I agree with PPs that your travel styles sound very similar, but it's strange that she refuses to split the decision making. Are the costs comparable? Is there some reason she's so resistant to your suggestions?
I would ask her why she prefers X (her choice) over Y (your suggestion). That'll help you get to the bottom of her decision making.
Maybe it's cost, or she's stayed in that type of accommodation before and loved it, or wants a more communal atmosphere to meet new people. Who knows what the reason might be. Once you know her motivations maybe you can convince her to switch to your side, or maybe she'll convince you!
Accommodation is really low on my priority list when I travel. As long as it's not swarming in roaches and filth I'm happy, because I spend very little time there anyway (and would rather earmark my $ for funner things). That's just my perspective on accommodation, and how inconsequential it is when it comes to traveling (to me). Are you two on the same page about activities?
Thanks to everyone for the input. I think the disconnect is that she is viewing this primarily as an opportunity to be one with nature and I'm looking at it as vacation and want a little comfort at the end of the day. I'm shocked at the cost of glamping, it's more than my cushier B&B suggestion.
I've decided to stick to my guns about splitting the decision as long as it's financially feasible and safe. No money has been spent yet, so if we come to a impasse the trip will be off. I'm really hoping we can work it out with neither of us feeling slighted, we're staying for an uneven number of nights so I'm definitely going to let her have the majority share of the nights for her choice.
I think your plan sounds good. I've traveled with friends and family members who are very rigid in their plans and it doesn't work out well. It works best when everyone is a little flexible and understands that you don't have to spend every second together.
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime. Mark Twain
Post by travelingturtle on May 27, 2014 9:53:14 GMT -5
I think caddy wompus' suggestion is a good one. That's tough with accommodation, though.
Is there something else about the glamping and rustic cabin other than the meals that are turning you off to the idea? I know glamping can be pretty luxurious and there's ways to work around the food issue. Not sure how rustic she's referring to with the cabins, though.
I think the idea of glamping is a cool one but for me that would be the rustic portion of our trip (sleeping in a tent, not having dining options nearby, having to walk outside to get to bathrooms and such.) My friend sees that as the "cushy" part of our trip. We haven't discussed it again since I first posted, I'm hoping to talk to her about it again this weekend.
My choice is the same price as the glamping except my pick includes continental breakfast (not ideal to be low protein early in the day) and a four course meal prepared by the Owner's son, who is a chef.