"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
Oh, yes. When my rebound guy broke up with me (twice!) I cried for days. Work was the only time I could pull it together. He also was my first love in college and broke up with me then, too. I moped around for a whole semester.
I don't know what it was about that dude. My life is so much better without him. But he really pushed all my buttons, romantically.
Omg yes, it's the worst pain I've experienced. In some ways it is worse than a death b/c they CHOSE to leave you (in my case). It sucks, like others have said, time really does help. You will have days that are ok, and days that are bad. I'm sorry. ((hugs))
ETA: I am happier now than I ever was with him, so I promise it can get better.
I remember when my first love broke my heart, I often wished he was dead instead of with someone else. Because, at the time, the reality of him just not loving me anymore was a far worse feeling than if he had actually died.
I feel as if heartbreak is one of those horrible things that should happen to everyone (I know that sounds terrible) because, man, am I stronger and more appreciative now than I ever was before. But, as a PP said, I also don't wish it on anyone because the pain is almost too much to bear.
Post by sapphireblue on Jun 5, 2014 11:02:10 GMT -5
Yes. I had this feeling just about six months ago, actually. It is odd because it truly is a physical feeling, and I really did feel it in my chest. Heartache/heartsick is a surprisingly accurate way to describe it!
Yes, from my HS boyfriend. I did not feel like that when my marriage ended. It was an awful feeling that I hope to never feel again. This post is making me anxious to think about feeling that way again!
Yes, after I found out my exH was cheating. The emotional pain also manifested physically and at times I sincerely felt like my heart could not take anymore. My stomach still turns when I think about he treated me and at times, my heart hurts from knowing how devastatingly painful hurt can be.
Yes, from my HS boyfriend. I did not feel like that when my marriage ended. It was an awful feeling that I hope to never feel again. This post is making me anxious to think about feeling that way again!
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I can understand this. I will never feel heart break like this again over a man because I will never let myself feel this enamored fur anyone ever again. I won't let myself.
I was extremely depressed after a relationship ended. Starting from April '02 to well into '03 I was completely heartbroken. Either crying or I walked around with a lump in my throat.
A 7 year relationship (HS sweetheart) that had turned into a long distance situation due to both of us attending different schools. One night he called me up out of the blue and dumped me over the phone. He didn't have the time to drive 130 miles north to break it off in person. 7 years together, the person I thought I would marry.....dumped me over the phone. Thrown away like garbage.
I still get mad when I think of what a jackass he was at the end. I realize that people dump each other over the phone if it's just a brief fling, but not after dating for 7 years solid, I deserved better than that.
I never thought I would recover, I never thought I could love another person. But time heals. Sure I get angry when I think of him....but I'm living my life now without him and I'm married now with two kids. It eventually gets better.
Yes. I think it's why couples who've spent 75 years together often die within months of each other.
My first taste of the heartbreak you are talking about happened with my HS bf. (To which I am very lol/pfffft about that now. It was puppy love.)
The other time was with exH. Heartbreak can absolutely manifest itself physically. In a sense, I think people can die of a broken heart.
I was all kinds of messed up. I distinctly remember trying to force myself to eat but I was too upset. I bit into a banana and smooshed it up and if you offered me $5,000 I physically could not swallow that bite. I was that stressed out. I actually started to wonder if I might drop dead after a few days from the stress and lack of food. It was the weirdest sensation ever as I had zero hunger for days. A doctor was like "oh, you won't die." -- I think he thought I was exaggerating. I think I lost like 15-20 pounds in around a month's time. I looked scary. I just wasn't hungry.
So, yes. I get what you mean. I went off on a tangent but that kind of heartbreak is real.
Yes. I think it's why couples who've spent 75 years together often die within months of each other.
My first taste of the heartbreak you are talking about happened with my HS bf. (To which I am very lol/pfffft about that now. It was puppy love.)
The other time was with exH. Heartbreak can absolutely manifest itself physically. In a sense, I think people can die of a broken heart.
I was all kinds of messed up. I distinctly remember trying to force myself to eat but I was too upset. I bit into a banana and smooshed it up and if you offered me $5,000 I physically could not swallow that bite. I was that stressed out. I actually started to wonder if I might drop dead after a few days from the stress and lack of food. It was the weirdest sensation ever as I had zero hunger for days. A doctor was like "oh, you won't die." -- I think he thought I was exaggerating. I think I lost like 15-20 pounds in around a month's time. I looked scary. I just wasn't hungry.
So, yes. I get what you mean. I went off on a tangent but that kind of heartbreak is real.
The total loss of appetite was what I remember about my first heartbreak. It hurt so badly that is shocked me. I literally could not swallow any food and I lost a ton of weight in a month. My mom made me milkshakes with ensure and ice cream since I couldn't eat. But I really remember putting food in my mouth and chewing it and then just not being able to swallow.
Post by borinquen57 on Jun 5, 2014 12:15:01 GMT -5
Yes, and it's devastating, my hands ached and I felt like my soul hurt. It was when H and I were dating and broke up for a time. One thing I do know is that I will never ever let a breakup make me feel this way again. I just don't see how I'd allow myself to fall like this again even being married to H or if our marriage ended and I met someone else.
Post by sherbanator on Jun 5, 2014 12:55:10 GMT -5
Thank you for all of the responses and I'm so sorry to everyone in this thread because I know how painful this experience is. I know many people have it much worse and in the big picture this is nothing. I do think that it has and will continue to fundamentally change me, most likely for the better. I just wish I had gone through this before and maybe I would have done things differently in my relationship to prevent this. Then I wouldn't have such regret and I wouldn't have gotten left behind. Next time lol.
Post by montereybride on Jun 5, 2014 13:14:19 GMT -5
My heart has been broken three (?) times. I have felt like there's something inside me that has my heart wrenched and strangled. I've felt the hole in my gut and like the wind has been knocked out of me. I've felt like I can't breathe. I've screamed and sobbed. I've gone days without eating. But I've survived.
The first was a very painful break up with a guy I was engaged to. He and I have managed to become friends but it took 10 years. The second was a while ago when one of my best girlfriend's ended the friendship over a misunderstanding. I don't think she and I will ever be as close as we once were but the friendship has been salvaged and we see each other socially maybe once every couple of weeks. We were brought together when a mutual friend committed suicide.
The third was not too long ago and I'm working through it. Each day gets a little better.
Mine was also the end of a friendship, with someone who had become my sister. I've never felt that kind of pain about a relationship-- I know that I would if something ever happened to my H, but it's never happened with anyone else. Shortly after our friendship ended, she came to a mutual friend's get together and I had to go in another room because I could not pull myself together. I was so surprised at how wrecked I was. Five years later, I spotted her mom and SIL at Target and could feel my face getting all hot and my chest tightening up.
I lose my breath when I think about what my life would be like if she was still a part of it, and how much I miss who she was before things went south.
Mine was also the end of a friendship, with someone who had become my sister. I've never felt that kind of pain about a relationship-- I know that I would if something ever happened to my H, but it's never happened with anyone else. Shortly after our friendship ended, she came to a mutual friend's get together and I had to go in another room because I could not pull myself together. I was so surprised at how wrecked I was. Five years later, I spotted her mom and SIL at Target and could feel my face getting all hot and my chest tightening up.
I lose my breath when I think about what my life would be like if she was still a part of it, and how much I miss who she was before things went south.
My heart just breaks for you
Truth be told, if our mutual friend hadn't taken his own life, I don't know that she and I would have reconciled. I remember all too well that feeling of not being able to breathe. There haven't been many women in my life who I've felt were my soulmates in that way but she was definitely one of them. When she hugged me after the funeral and told me "Life is too short" I broke down and sobbed uncontrollably and told her I loved her and how much I missed her. All in public. In front of 300 people. I regret nothing.
Yes, from my HS boyfriend. I did not feel like that when my marriage ended. It was an awful feeling that I hope to never feel again. This post is making me anxious to think about feeling that way again!
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I can understand this. I will never feel heart break like this again over a man because I will never let myself feel this enamored fur anyone ever again. I won't let myself.
You will be able to love hard again, I know it doesn't feel like it's possible right now though.
When my horrible heartbreak happened, one silver lining that came of it was learning how to better manage it in the future. So years later when I went through a breakup with my now H, it hurt so bad, but I had better tools and more knowledge that helped me handle it better. Yes, I still couldn't eat and I cried at night and thought about him all the time but I also did NOT make an ass of myself calling and texting, I didn't dig for info on what he was doing or who he was seeing, and I knew that alcohol made it worse for me, not better. I used the free time to make positive changes in my life, in that case I trained to run my first half marathon.
It probably helped that I was also in a much better place of being happy with myself, and knowing that the breakup didn't happen because I wasn't good enough for him. I wasn't less heartbroken, but the fallout was much less horrible because I had better tools. I hope this makes sense. Once you come through this, you will know that you can get through it again and it makes you able to open up your heart again someday.
I can understand this. I will never feel heart break like this again over a man because I will never let myself feel this enamored fur anyone ever again. I won't let myself.
I completely understand you feeling like this right now. It seems so crazy that you would ever want to open yourself up again for this kind of pain. I don't know your story but I'm guessing.
But the pain goes away, and you're able, eventually, to smile with friends or family. For a second you forget. Then gradually it shifts and you realize that you haven't cried about it in a while. I promise you it will change. And, yes, you will fall in love again.