How many of you are actively working a 12 step program

[btay]

If there are enough of us I was thinking we could start like a weekly topic thread, sort of like a meeting where each week we cover either a step or a topic.  It would be open to anyone doing a program, addict or not.  Any interest?? 

[flex]

I am, and I think that's an excellent idea.

[lexxasaurus]

I'm in a weird area right now. I was working my steps, but then taking on a second job and moving I just didn't have the time to fully commit to the program... So my sponsor, whom I adore, sort of put things on hold with me because she wanted to be available to help someone who was in immediate need.

I do still go to occasional meetings, & I read through my literature, and at some point I want to finish working the steps (I started step 4) but for now I'm in a limbo where I balance all the joy of my sober life with the occasional benefits of the program. However, I would totally be down for this and think it would give me another outlet that would be easier sometimes than actually getting to a meeting.

[flex]

lexxasaurus: you need to finish up working the Steps through their entirety. You need to make time for yourself to finish the 4th Step. If your sponsor can't work with you on this, find a "temporary" sponsor.

[lexxasaurus]

Jul 3, 2014 10:38:47 GMT -5 flex said:

lexxasaurus: you need to finish up working the Steps through their entirety. You need to make time for yourself to finish the 4th Step. If your sponsor can't work with you on this, find a "temporary" sponsor.

I know, I do, I am so freaked out at the idea of getting a new sponsor. I was basically pushed into my first one because I was too nervous to ask. We moved to a new town, and we'll spend this weekend getting settled in, and then next week I think I will find meetings in our area to attend.

The fourth step scared me a little bit, but just starting on it made me realize how beneficial it would be to me so I do know that I need to complete it, as well as the rest of them.

[flex]

It's amazing the burden that is lifted from you once you have completed the 4th & 5th Steps. It feels so good it makes you wonder why it took so long to do it. Basically it's fear that keeps us back. An unreasonable fear.

You don't want to go back to the person you were, right? Time to forge ahead. : )

[btay]

Jul 3, 2014 10:47:28 GMT -5 flex said:

It's amazing the burden that is lifted from you once you have completed the 4th & 5th Steps. It feels so good it makes you wonder why it took so long to do it. Basically it's fear that keeps us back. An unreasonable fear.

You don't want to go back to the person you were, right? Time to forge ahead. : )

 I think part of the reason I'm so scared of the 4th step is because I know step 5 is right behind it. That is by far the most terrifying step imaginable but at my last meeting I was reminded that starting step 4 does not mean I have to do step 5 next week and I just need to suck it up and buy the workbook to get started.   I have cash in my wallet right now set aside to purchase the workbook at my next meeting

[btay]

So format wise I was thinking every Monday I (or someone else who remembers) will start a post with a step and a reading. Then we can all discuss or share readings of our own.

Does this sound good? would another day be better? Anything else we could add?

[flex]

I think beginning this on Monday is an excellent idea with the long weekend and all.

We just need to remember what we say here and who we see here--let it stay here. Hear hear! lol

[malibu]

Sounds great. I'll be starting the family program next week and will likely be doing Al-Anon in tandem. I am aware of the steps though.

[btay]

Jul 3, 2014 12:11:30 GMT -5 malibu said:

Sounds great. I'll be starting the family program next week and will likely be doing Al-Anon in tandem. I am aware of the steps though.

 They will send you home with a couple of books so you will have all kinds of readings to share with us

[flex]

BTW, if any of you feel like I get too pushy or strident about a topic, please PM me and point it out.

Personally I feel that this is a board for those of you struggling with your own recovery or dealing with a family member or friend who is struggling with an addiction in any form. So like I said before I don't want to intimidate anyone.

Does that make sense?

[btay]

Jul 3, 2014 13:51:20 GMT -5 flex said:

BTW, if any of you feel like I get too pushy or strident about a topic, please PM me and point it out.

Personally I feel that this is a board for those of you struggling with your own recovery or dealing with a family member or friend who is struggling with an addiction in any form. So like I said before I don't want to intimidate anyone.

Does that make sense?

 I had to google strident *insert embarrassed face here*

[pixelpassion]

I have literature, but my attendance took a hiatus when I moved

[sweetredhead1]

Would an OA member be welcome?

[btay]

Jul 4, 2014 15:24:47 GMT -5 sweetredhead1 said:

Would an OA member be welcome?

Absolutely

Sent from my SM-G900V using proboards

[Deleted]

I'm in, if that's okay. AA for almost 7 years. One of my best meetings is on Monday night after work, but I'll be sure to weigh in. Love the idea of a topic.

[sweetredhead1]

Jul 4, 2014 15:42:33 GMT -5 btay said:

Jul 4, 2014 15:24:47 GMT -5 sweetredhead1 said:

Would an OA member be welcome?

Absolutely

Sent from my SM-G900V using proboards

Great. I would love to join in.

[krisandgrace]

I'm in! I'm a recovering alcoholic, I usually hit one to two meetings a week at this point but I can always use a little step work.

[odaat]

I'm in!  I'm in AA and the 12 steps are absolutely vital to my recovery.  I relapsed many times after working 1-2-3 over and over.  It wasn't until I completed the steps did my sobriety take on a whole new level.

[pinkdutchtulips]

al-anon member here

[SwimDeep]

I won't claim that I'm actively working the steps, but I am at least approaching them. My H thinks I should be in AA, but honestly I think that's because he wants his problems to be my problems too. I'm comfortable with al-anon right now. I want to encourage him in his journey in AA, so I want to at least contemplate the steps so I better understand what he's doing and what support he might need from me.

[flex]

Jul 18, 2014 10:33:28 GMT -5 SwimDeep said:

I won't claim that I'm actively working the steps, but I am at least approaching them. My H thinks I should be in AA, but honestly I think that's because he wants his problems to be my problems too. I'm comfortable with al-anon right now. I want to encourage him in his journey in AA, so I want to at least contemplate the steps so I better understand what he's doing and what support he might need from me.

Is he pressuring you to go to AA for "you" or is he just suggesting it?  Anyway, only YOU can decide if you should be in AA--not him or anyone else.  

Would it be possible for you to go to an AA meeting with him just as an observer?  Not for you, but as support for him?

[SwimDeep]

Jul 18, 2014 14:09:58 GMT -5 flex said:

Jul 18, 2014 10:33:28 GMT -5 SwimDeep said:

I won't claim that I'm actively working the steps, but I am at least approaching them. My H thinks I should be in AA, but honestly I think that's because he wants his problems to be my problems too. I'm comfortable with al-anon right now. I want to encourage him in his journey in AA, so I want to at least contemplate the steps so I better understand what he's doing and what support he might need from me.

Is he pressuring you to go to AA for "you" or is he just suggesting it?  Anyway, only YOU can decide if you should be in AA--not him or anyone else.  

Would it be possible for you to go to an AA meeting with him just as an observer?  Not for you, but as support for him?

I've been to several AA meetings with him. At first we went together and then once he got more comfortable he started going on his own. I have not been to an AA or al-anon meeting where I felt comfortable, but that's because of the anxiety I feel around groups of people. I think he sees my reluctance to become completely immersed in the program as pride or something...like he thinks I don't want to admit to being an alcoholic. The last time we fought about it, he came right out and said he thought I was an alcoholic, that there was a difference between being truly sober and just dry, and that I was in denial. ... After he calmed down, he admitted that he can't force me to go and he "shouldn't be taking (my) inventory"... We haven't talked about it since. I'm not over the things he said. I still feel a lot of heated, chaotic emotion when I think about it, so I haven't been able to process it or talk to him about it.

The important thing right now is that he's sober. I fully support him in that, but I'm not going to admit to being something just because it would make him feel better about his own problems (or give him a convenient place to put blame).

I know that being active in al-anon would help me...give me people to talk to, help me build a support system, etc. I went to al-anon for a while a year or so ago and it was very helpful to hear other peoples stories and study the literature. Right now, though, with the amount of stress I'm under, it's all I can do to see my therapist and participate here.

That...and step 2...is what's keeping me at a distance right now.

ETA: This is already longer than I intended, but I feel the need to disclose that anxiety triggers thoughts of self harm. I don't feel strong enough to manage it, so right now I'm just trying to avoid triggers. I have not been able to effectively explain this to my H.