Post by verycontrary247 on Jul 6, 2014 21:48:08 GMT -5
Pretty sure ginger is gradually ghosting me.
We used to text on and off all day long, regardless of whether we were hanging out later. Now I'm lucky if I get a response within a 5 hour period. He pretty much ALWAYS has his phone with him. This drives me fucking nuts. Even if you're busy, how hard is it to say "yo I'm busy text you in a few hours"?!? Or, if you're no longer interested, say something?
I like him more than I'd like to admit and my feels are being seriously hurt here. I don't understand how people can go from hot to cold so damn quickly.
Post by verycontrary247 on Jul 6, 2014 21:55:51 GMT -5
I sent him a text at 9 that read as followed: So. I can't decide whether you're just busy, not really interested in me or a combination of both. If it's the former- I'm not trying to be annoying, I like you a lot. I'm just relatively new to all of this and it's very confusing. If it's the latter- you can just say so and save all involved parties time and effort.
Post by verycontrary247 on Jul 7, 2014 9:20:19 GMT -5
I don't get it. Like, I straight up gave him an opening to say "you're right I'm not feeling it" and let it be done. Instead of giving me that closure he's avoiding it completely.
Wow, that sucks 13 hours later after the text you sent him with no response? Hopefully maybe his phone died or is off. Do you have any other means of contact? Can you see what he's up to on fb? I wouldn't message him though as it could make him feel uneasy. At this point I'd likely 'wait' for a response but begin moving on. If you know what I mean?
Post by lyssbobiss, Command, B613 on Jul 7, 2014 9:26:29 GMT -5
Ugh. That has happened to me more times than I can count. Even if he isn't ghosting on you, you certainly deserve better than someone who can't be bothered to drop you a line and let you know he's busy right now. I'm sorry this is happening.
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
I'm sorry. That totally sucks. I don't understand why dudes can't be bothered to respond with a simple 'not feeling it'. ESPECIALLy when you gave him an out. Lame
Post by stephreloaded on Jul 7, 2014 10:43:47 GMT -5
That is indeed annoying. I would take his lack of response as a response. How long can it take him sending a text saying he is busy?
I had something similar happening to me the last couple of weeks and I am not going to wait for the guy to fucking say something about the whole thing.
What if he lost his phone for part of that time, left it at a friend's, took a nap, had an emergency, battery died, etc.
Sure, it was still a lot of time. Yes.
But, don't play these games, it only makes you look like the weaker one.
If he didn't text - it's fine to be mad, but you can be mad without leaving those awkward texts.
This is where I'm conflicted. Like, communication is a weird point for me. If his phone was dead then he can apologize and know in the future this shit bothers me. If I never say anything and we continue speaking it would nag me forever.
What if he lost his phone for part of that time, left it at a friend's, took a nap, had an emergency, battery died, etc.
Sure, it was still a lot of time. Yes.
But, don't play these games, it only makes you look like the weaker one.
If he didn't text - it's fine to be mad, but you can be mad without leaving those awkward texts.
This is where I'm conflicted. Like, communication is a weird point for me. If his phone was dead then he can apologize and know in the future this shit bothers me. If I never say anything and we continue speaking it would nag me forever.
How many times have you texted him since he's gone silent? I think you should certainly be upfront but I'm of the camp where I leave the ball in people's court after I've made an effort.
Reason being 1. there could be a legit reason or 2. He's a douche. Either way when / if he contacts me back I look calm and collected and not so in his face. Plus he gets to dig himself into a hole that I can then address after finding out what the heck went on if he contacted me back. Start of relationships are a tricky one where you want them to know what bothers you while at the same time not freaking them out that early into things.
What if he lost his phone for part of that time, left it at a friend's, took a nap, had an emergency, battery died, etc.
Sure, it was still a lot of time. Yes.
But, don't play these games, it only makes you look like the weaker one.
If he didn't text - it's fine to be mad, but you can be mad without leaving those awkward texts.
This is where I'm conflicted. Like, communication is a weird point for me. If his phone was dead then he can apologize and know in the future this shit bothers me. If I never say anything and we continue speaking it would nag me forever.
But you would say something once you continued speaking, you know?
This: So. I can't decide whether you're just busy, not really interested in me or a combination of both. If it's the former- I'm not trying to be annoying, I like you a lot. no I'm just relatively new to all of this and it's very confusing. If it's the latter- you can just say so pout and save all involved parties gosh no time and effort.
Noooo. You seem unhinged. You are guessing, you are irritated, you are tossing in a "but I likkkkke youuuuu". You are also making a demand.
The right thing to do would be to wait and see what happened and then tell him that doesn't work for you.
If he never talked to you again? Then no serious talk needed.
This wasn't even giving him a piece of your mind. It just seemed on the desperate side.
What if he lost his phone for part of that time, left it at a friend's, took a nap, had an emergency, battery died, etc.
Sure, it was still a lot of time. Yes.
But, don't play these games, it only makes you look like the weaker one.
If he didn't text - it's fine to be mad, but you can be mad without leaving those awkward texts.
This is where I'm conflicted. Like, communication is a weird point for me. If his phone was dead then he can apologize and know in the future this shit bothers me. If I never say anything and we continue speaking it would nag me forever.
I'm pretty much the same way.
It also really bothers me because I feel like I'm so overly considerate of the other person with stuff like this, like I forgot my phone at his place and I didn't realize it until I was home and he was at work, so I sent him a FB message being like "hey left my phone at your place FYI". So if I don't get the same treatment back I take it waaaayyyyy serious and feel hurt probably more than the average person.
This is where I'm conflicted. Like, communication is a weird point for me. If his phone was dead then he can apologize and know in the future this shit bothers me. If I never say anything and we continue speaking it would nag me forever.
I'm pretty much the same way.
It also really bothers me because I feel like I'm so overly considerate of the other person with stuff like this, like I forgot my phone at his place and I didn't realize it until I was home and he was at work, so I sent him a FB message being like "hey left my phone at your place FYI". So if I don't get the same treatment back I take it waaaayyyyy serious and feel hurt probably more than the average person.
There's nothing wrong with not liking this behavior. There's nothing wrong with the fact that it hurts your feelings or that you are sensitive to the reciprocity (or lack of) involved.
It's not a sane idea to text that kind of stuff to a new/potential beau.
This is where I'm conflicted. Like, communication is a weird point for me. If his phone was dead then he can apologize and know in the future this shit bothers me. If I never say anything and we continue speaking it would nag me forever.
How many times have you texted him since he's gone silent? I think you should certainly be upfront but I'm of the camp where I leave the ball in people's court after I've made an effort.
Reason being 1. there could be a legit reason or 2. He's a douche. Either way when / if he contacts me back I look calm and collected and not so in his face. Plus he gets to dig himself into a hole that I can then address after finding out what the heck went on if he contacted me back. Start of relationships are a tricky one where you want them to know what bothers you while at the same time not freaking them out that early into things.
I texted that one and haven't since.
@gypsy I can see how the way I worded it kind of comes off as desperate. Meh. #pout