Intro-ED

[aba]

Hi everyone,

I wanted to introduce myself and hopefully actively participate on this board. As some of you may already know, I have struggled with an eating disorder for over 10 years now. I went to treatment for the first time in 2006 and did fairly well for a couple years, then in 2012, I had a major relapse and ended-up in multiple treatment centers/hospitals. I'm doing ok now, but I am having a difficult time "finding balance" when it comes to food/nutrition. I tend to be very black and white when it comes to food. Right now I'm really struggling with only being ok eating "perfect" foods. I have horrible, horrible guilt after eating anything "impure" such as most grains or anything with fat in it:(

Anyways, I'm so glad this board has been started! Thanks for reading my intro. Please feel free to ask me any questions if you want to know more about eating disorders. I am a fairly open book:)

[Deleted]

aba, my belief is that you struggle with most difficult addiction. We can survive without most of the addictive substances. But food is another story. How difficult it must be to wrestle with the punishing need for food. I am glad you joined our group and I look forward to getting to know you better!

[btay]

Welcome

[lime]

((aba))

I think you are pretty damn strong to not have a relapse for 6+ years, even though you have to eat and deal with food on a daily basis.

[malibu]

Welcome. I hope you find the support you need here.

[lexxasaurus]

I've been struggling with food issues for a long time and it is SO hard to find the balance. I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now. I only know my own viewpoints on 'pure' foods and correct rituals so if you don't mind me asking, what are your thoughts related to the "impure" foods? What makes them fall into either category? I just find the individual reasoning intriguing and maybe if you can get a clear idea, you can rationalize and change the thinking, ya know?

[aba]

Thank you all for the welcome! I appreciate it:)

[aba]

Jul 8, 2014 20:35:38 GMT -5 lexxasaurus said:

I've been struggling with food issues for a long time and it is SO hard to find the balance. I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now. I only know my own viewpoints on 'pure' foods and correct rituals so if you don't mind me asking, what are your thoughts related to the "impure" foods? What makes them fall into either category? I just find the individual reasoning intriguing and maybe if you can get a clear idea, you can rationalize and change the thinking, ya know?

Right now, it's basically any processed foods, foods with fat, most carbs (except some rice), added sugar, anything fried, etc. I feel very panicked and horribly guilty if I eat any food over like 200 calories.  

[lexxasaurus]

Have you ever figured out your BMR and TDEE to see what you *should* be eating each day so you can get more comfortable upping your intake? I know logic doesn't necessarily make sense with addictions, but that helped me reassure myself a bit.

[aba]

Hey Lexxasaurus,

My BMR is just about 1600 and my TDEE is 1900. I never eat more than either of those and it is still VERY hard to lose weight:-/