A total comedy of errors. I proposed on our four-year first date anniversary. Every year for our first date anniversary W and I try to replay our first date: we go to a SIFF movie and then go out for coffee. My original plan was to get the barista to put the ring on her coffee saucer. But W said she "was not a fan of big public proposals". So much for that. So plan B was to get a collar for the cat and put the ring on the collar for when she got home before we went out. So I get home early to wrap anniversary presents, sit down to check mail, and then ... she gets in early to wrap presents. So at this point I just say f*** it, wrap the ring box and we exchange presents before we go out. Apparently W thought that the whole thing was a fakeout, up to and including staring at the ring (b/c the diamond was unrealistically large to her) and that I would propose with the "real" ring later that night.
Afterwards I tell her about my original plan and she says that would have been cute and fine with here. THANKS, HON.
PIPs from our engagement shoot (not that same day):
If you were on death row, what would you last meal be? Biggest fear? Regret? If you were given $5M tax free today what would you do with it? If you had to switch places with a Nextie for a day who would it be?
Despite being basically atheist W agreed to get married in my dirty hippie church on Capitol Hill. It was a nice, all-inclusive service and they even let us do as much editing as we could to make the service gender-neutral and orientation-neutral. We rented out the DAR house (I know there have been several Knotties/Nesties who used it for their wedding and/or reception) and it was fabulous. The weather cooperated for the hours before and after the wedding so that people could walk the 1/2 mile from the ceremony to the reception. The reception had a late '20s/early '30s theme. We played lots of jazz from the era as background music, all of the first /fatherdaughtermotherson/anniversary dance songs were vintage, we tried to make a vintage menu, W's dress is cut to look like it's from that era, the tables were all named after famous people from the era, etc.
Our only disaster was that one of my groomsmen had to cancel about a month before the wedding. But we found a backup groomsman who is a friend of mine that flew in from ... Singapore. He was a total trooper and a big hit at the reception because of his ridiculous dancing.
We did an anniversary dance but no garter toss or bouquet toss. I think there would have been like three single dudes and five single ladies, they would have just been sad.
People have told us they had a lot of fun and liked our wedding a lot, I don't know if they're just being nice or we did a genuinely good job with it.
If she thought the diamond was unrealistically large, how big is it?
It's 1.08 ct ... I got bigger but less clear/white diamond (I think it's somewhere in the G-H-I range; against a white or silver you can tell it's yellow but against gold (which is her ring) you can't tell) and it's in a solitare setting that makes it look even bigger.
We are TTGKTFU but not much luck yet. We will probably start trying "more seriously" for a few months (aka, just do it more and at the right time of the month), and if that doesn't work see a doctor some time next year if things haven't worked by then.
I have one sister who's 28 and moving back to Atlanta, her H is going to med school there. UN_0582 by rslwn, on Flickr 009 by niq77174, on Flickr
W has two brothers, one sister, one half-sister, two stepbrothers (well one is about to be an ex-stepbrother), and one stepsister. It's a very complicated chart and I need to give a visual aid to my family so they know where everybody is.
Both our parents are divorced. Both of her parents have since remarried. My dad remarried but he and his second wife divorced too. My mom & dad both live in Atlanta, and her parents all live here. Her mom grew up in Decatur, IL, so we have extended family throughout the midwest and upper south (Ohio, Kentucky, NC, etc.). Almost all of my extended family lives within two hours of Atlanta, GA.
Neither of us has any living grandparents on either side. W's stepdad has a grandpa who lives in Arizona.
It wasn't anything to write home about. We went on a road trip around the rural South. Ursula kind of wanted to see what it looked like and what the people were like, and I kind of wanted to show her. It was very much a "minimoon" because the wedding was getting a little too expensive. The plan was that we would go on a big trip for our 1 year anniversary. But that didn't work out either; we ended up going to Victoria for that one. So our big trip will be this year; we're going to Japan for 2+ or maybe 3+ weeks in September/October. Also we have a trip to Hawaii this winter b/c she has a cousin who's stationed there.
Favorite book: I don't read much fiction and it's hard to really call a non-fiction book "favorite". I guess The Screwtape Letters is my favorite fiction book. Favorite movie: The Departed What is your dream career?: I'm pretty happy with where I am right now. I might want to do something that's a bit more in the educational/public speaking realm. Lately though I have wondered if maybe some day I might run a small local business -- like a restaurant or dance hall or something like that -- but mostly I know that's crazy talk.
I guess my real dream career would be to be the GM of a major league baseball team. But that's never ever ever going to happen. What are your phobias? Heights. Drowning or otherwise dying by lack of oxygen (I hate sci fi episodes of shows where they run out of air or whatever). The heat death of the universe (not joking! it makes me sad to think about). Failure. Success. I'm sure there are other What's your favorite place? Home. Wherever it is. What did you study? I have a joint BS in Math/Computer Science. Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years? Still living in my current house, having written a technical book on something or other, giving more speeches at conferences, but otherwise being a programmer. Funny story? Uhhh ... what's funny about my life lately, hrmmm. Something we wouldn't know about you? I can't whistle. W makes fun of me when I try.
If you were on death row, what would you last meal be? Biggest fear? Regret? If you were given $5M tax free today what would you do with it? If you had to switch places with a Nextie for a day who would it be?
(1) something involving Duck and gnocchi, and then a lemon bar with raspberry sauce for dessert. (2) fear: right now I fear that living in ATL where both our parents are, and with mom's situation deteriorating, is going to drive my sister nuts and drive a wedge between us to where we barely talk for a long time. I also fear that being too much of a schlub around the house will drive Ursula away.
Regret: I had a friend of a friend who worked in the front office of the Philadelphia Phillies. I probably could have gotten a job there in 2003-2005, right as the Phillies were on the road to improving largely because of some shrewd front office moves. If I had done that I might be assistant GM or Chief Performance Scout (that's code for "statistician") with a team. I mean, I dunno, maybe. It's very hard to tell. But I regret not exploring that opportunity. (3) I would reopen the dance hall in Greenwood. I think with that much money I could afford to just have someone run the place rather than quit my job to do it. I'd probably want/need a zoning change and a liquor license but I think the mayor would be okay with that.
If I had money left over I would buy out a couple of the pot shops in the neighborhood, just to open up more commercial space for something other than pot. There are like five or six collectives within walking distance of my house. I don't have a problem with weed but I wish there were more things to go do.
(4) I think karebear but that may be b/c I've seen bkb at a GTG doing the happy baby pose for like an hour and it was adorable. I'm sure once bkb gets to age 2 or 3 I'd want to switch back .
W is from here. I was recruited out of college to work for MSFT, I was there for almost 2 years and didn't really fit in. But I found a new job that I liked better after taking some time off.
How did you and W meet? Who asked who out and how?
OKcupid. There were several people who had higher match scores than her, but she was still fairly high would keep showing up with similar interests. Also some of her pictures made her look interesting, like, there was a picture where I thought she had cut her hair super short (I am a sucker for good short-haircuts). Like, we both liked the same bands and the same movies. I invited her to a concert, but she was already going with her sister. So I suggested a movie at SIFF, and she dragged her feet about picking a movie. So I picked like five that looked like good date movies and said "here: pick one." Little did I know that she was sort of trying to blow me off. Anyway the original plan was just for a movie but we decided to get coffee afterwards and we ended up talking for almost two hours, and so I guess it went better than she expected.
How much do you love your new house? Neighborhood?
I really love our new house. The only complaint I have with it is that it has One Huge Great Room instead of separate living/dining rooms. And even though the point of the great room is that the people in the kitchen can converse with guests, the acoustics are bad so you can't hear between one end of the great room and the kitchen. But seriously, it's a #firstworldproblem.
I like the neighborhood but don't love it. It feels a bit more suburban than I would like. There are too many pot shops. I think the non restaurant/bar retail stuff is having a really hard time right now, so I'm worried that everything is just going to dry up, especially we are basically "between" two of the proposed light rail stops and that might suck up a lot of the development. We looked at houses in Roosevelt and I loved that neighborhood. But really we wanted some mythical old construction, good remodel house in Roosevelt, Wallingford, Ballard, or Capitol Hill that doesn't exist or would have cost a bajillion dollars.
Did you and/or W have a huge freak out moment after you purchased the house?
I had a big freakout moment between when I wired the money and the actual closing, especially since it was over a weekend. But most of the freakout was with the loan application.
Whoops: favorite place was copy/pasted from someone else.
My favorite place is probably the summer camp that we went to when I was a teenager. We also went to boarding school there for a semester. It's very peaceful, green, and brings back lots of good memories.
Favorite thing about your W? Least favorite thing that drives you insane?
I think my favorite thing is the way she laughs. She comes across as very sarcastic to lots of people the first time they meet her. But once you break through that she is actually really very warm. I wish she didn't feel the need to try to make light of situations through sarcasm quite so much.
Least favorite: well the nail polish thing isn't a problem now that we have tons of storage space ... we get into lots of vicious cycles where one of us is slightly annoyed at the other of us for doing/not doing something. And then the other of us gets in a huff because the first one thinks the other is an idiot. And then the first one gets in a huff because the second one thought that the first one thought that they were an idiot. etc... with me it's usually something having to do with keeping the house in good shape. With her it's usually computer help.
Favorite vacation you've taken thus far? Dream vacation?
We went to Chile after we had been dating for a year. It was our first big trip together, and sort of a test for whether we would kill each other if we moved in together:
Dream vacation: I kind of want to thru-hike the AT, but I'm not sure if I'll ever get the chance. W really wants to go to Turkey. I don't think I really have anywhere specific I am really dying to go. Maybe I should go re-watch all of No Reservations.
Per professional sport, who are your favorite teams?
Remember that I'm from Atlanta and went to school in Greater Boston for these:
Baseball: Braves, Red Sox, didn't even root for the M's when they were good. Football: Falcons, Patriots, Colts (but really Manning, not sure if I'll root for the Broncos). I do root for the Seahawks when they're good and not facing the Falcons/Pats/Colts. Basketball: don't care much, kind of like to hate on the LeBron haters, have a friend who lives in Miami, so let's say Heat. The Hawks were terrible when I moved here so I sort of became a Sonics fan. I'm rooting for them to come back to the city! I root for the Hawks when they get hot and I'm sad they made some dumb moves during the LeBron/Wade/Bosh offseason 2 years ago that will hurt them down the road. Hockey: Really don't care much. I guess the Penguins because I like Crosby. Soccer: Sounders! Don't have a favorite European team, they're all so mercenary it's just rooting for clothing. I like Messi but I think Barcelona's style of play other than Messi is super boring. Auto racing: LOL
I don't care about Golf or Tennis other than that some of the lady tennis players are hot, though I was more into Anna Kournikova and the Williams sisters than I am into any of the Russian-American players at the top of the rankings these days. I'd like to see Federer break the all-time majors win record but I'm not sure he'll last that long.
Not really. I follow college ultimate some because I played . College baseball just a little because the top players make it to the majors pretty fast. I sort of root for the SEC in football because no other conference is any good and the SEC championship is the de facto national title game. Yeah, I said it. W's siblings are very much "Go Cougs!" guys (they went to school there) so we all watch the Apple Cup as a family with half rooting for UW and half rooting for WSU. I like Mike Leach because he's sort of a Moneyball kind of football coach, so I'm excited to see what WSU will do in the next few years.
I think the big money college sports (basically football and basketball) are exploitative, and I also think they're uninteresting because of huge skill gaps. People say college b-ball involves more teamwork and there's more passing, but that's just because there's only one or two guys on any team that can make a jump shot. College football is just about finding the matchup where your guy is faster than everyone on the defense.
I was a swimmer in middle & high school so I'll watch the swimming. I might watch Usain Bolt. That'll probably be it in terms of making an effort to watch things, especially since we don't get cable.
Hmmm ... I should see about getting an HD antenna for our house so we can get network HDTV...