Okay so I have a 10 year old yellow lab that I ended up getting in the divorce. We adopted her together when she was 1 yr old and had 2 dogs. We each got one in the split. So here's the deal...I'm not a huge pet fan and the dog really does annoy me a lot of the time. I finally told my ex that she needed to help me find a new home for the dog. The dog is aggressive towards other dogs, is an escape artist, and can be somewhat destructive with counter cruising behavior. She's chewed many toys that belonged to DS. She's scratched the furniture. But I do actually care about the dog she's just overwhelming.
Yesterday I got a text message from ex stating that she found someone willing to take the dog. I'm nervous about how this will affect the dog...adjusting to a new home at 10 years old. I also worry about being lonely and missing her especially when DS is with my ex. But I also am happy to know that someone will take her and love her and take good care of her.
If you were in my spot would you go ahead and give up the dog? How did you all handle the pet situation?
I honestly wouldn't give up the dog unless there were some really serious problems, i.e. aggression toward your son. She's spent her whole life with you, and although dogs are resilient, adjusting to an unfamiliar environment will be stressful. To me a dog is a commitment you make for life (except in extreme circumstances). Dogs chew stuff and scratch stuff, that's just what they do. I don't consider those offenses worth rehoming a dog for. As for counter cruising, be more vigilant with food left out. Aggression toward other dogs - keep her away from them. Escape artist? Is that from your yard or her crate? There are ways to deal with all these issues, although I understand that it would require some time and/or money to do so. I just think that at this point, it is kinder to let her live out her life with you. Just my opinion.
I honestly wouldn't give up the dog unless there were some really serious problems, i.e. aggression toward your son. She's spent her whole life with you, and although dogs are resilient, adjusting to an unfamiliar environment will be stressful. To me a dog is a commitment you make for life (except in extreme circumstances). Dogs chew stuff and scratch stuff, that's just what they do. I don't consider those offenses worth rehoming a dog for. As for counter cruising, be more vigilant with food left out. Aggression toward other dogs - keep her away from them. Escape artist? Is that from your yard or her crate? There are ways to deal with all these issues, although I understand that it would require some time and/or money to do so. I just think that at this point, it is kinder to let her live out her life with you. Just my opinion.
I honestly wouldn't give up the dog unless there were some really serious problems, i.e. aggression toward your son. She's spent her whole life with you, and although dogs are resilient, adjusting to an unfamiliar environment will be stressful. To me a dog is a commitment you make for life (except in extreme circumstances). Dogs chew stuff and scratch stuff, that's just what they do. I don't consider those offenses worth rehoming a dog for. As for counter cruising, be more vigilant with food left out. Aggression toward other dogs - keep her away from them. Escape artist? Is that from your yard or her crate? There are ways to deal with all these issues, although I understand that it would require some time and/or money to do so. I just think that at this point, it is kinder to let her live out her life with you. Just my opinion.
A 10 year old senior dog that you have had for most of her life and you want to rehome her? You're kind of a d!ck. Do you give the dog enough exercise because it doesn't sound like it? All of the bad behaviors are probably a result of the dog being bored.
I have an 8 year old yellow lab so I understand the constant energy that she has even at her age. How do you exercise her? I think you may be misinterpreting playful behavior as aggression as well because it's a convenient excuse. If your dog was truly aggressive, you need to work with a dog behaviorist to try and correct this behavior instead of dumping her on someone else.
If you don't have the time to take care of her needs, she is probably better off being rehomed at this point IMO to someone who CAN give her what she needs. Especially if you can't stand her.
A 10 year old senior dog that you have had for most of her life and you want to rehome her? You're kind of a d!ck. Do you give the dog enough exercise because it doesn't sound like it? All of the bad behaviors are probably a result of the dog being bored.
I have an 8 year old yellow lab so I understand the constant energy that she has even at her age. How do you exercise her? I think you may be misinterpreting playful behavior as aggression as well because it's a convenient excuse. If your dog was truly aggressive, you need to work with a dog behaviorist to try and correct this behavior instead of dumping her on someone else.
If you don't have the time to take care of her needs, she is probably better off being rehomed at this point IMO to someone who CAN give her what she needs. Especially if you can't stand her.
Out of complete curiousity, why did you take her in the first place? Would your EX take her?
A lot of this stuff sounds like it's all behaviors that were tolerated before, so not sure why it's shocking now she's acting like this. Also, if kid doesn't pick up toys and toys are chewed, lesson is to pick up after yourself, no?
The dog gets plenty of exercise. She plays in the yard and I walk her every single day. She escapes from the backyard, the front door if it's open too wide, she's pulled me down while walking her, you name it she's gone and it takes hours to catch her. We tried training her when she was younger and then I tried again when we first split up and I knew that I was going to be her main caregiver. I've even considered a pet psychologist/behavior specialist to work with her on her aggression and bad behaviors. She seems to only really tear up stuff that belongs to DS and has growled at him a couple of time recently when he's gotten too close to her.
It may not seem like it but I am very torn about this because I know that she is a senior dog and I only want what's best for her. It's nice to have her around especially when DS is with my ex as she provides a lot of comfort. But with the behaviors I am at my wits end and now with the growling at DS I am concerned that her aggression issues (she has actually severely injured another dog and that dog ended up having to be put down) may be worsening. While she has always been an escape artist and aggressive towards other dogs, the destructive behaviors are new since we split and the 2 dogs were separated. Separation anxiety maybe?
Out of complete curiousity, why did you take her in the first place? Would your EX take her?
A lot of this stuff sounds like it's all behaviors that were tolerated before, so not sure why it's shocking now she's acting like this. Also, if kid doesn't pick up toys and toys are chewed, lesson is to pick up after yourself, no?
No...my ex won't take her as I've asked multiple times. The excuse I get is "it's too much work to have both dogs".
A 10 year old senior dog that you have had for most of her life and you want to rehome her? You're kind of a d!ck. Do you give the dog enough exercise because it doesn't sound like it? All of the bad behaviors are probably a result of the dog being bored.
I have an 8 year old yellow lab so I understand the constant energy that she has even at her age. How do you exercise her? I think you may be misinterpreting playful behavior as aggression as well because it's a convenient excuse. If your dog was truly aggressive, you need to work with a dog behaviorist to try and correct this behavior instead of dumping her on someone else.
If you don't have the time to take care of her needs, she is probably better off being rehomed at this point IMO to someone who CAN give her what she needs. Especially if you can't stand her.
+1.
+2
I can't emphasize enough the positive difference in my dog when he gets more exercise vs when he is cooped up all day.
The dog gets plenty of exercise. She plays in the yard and I walk her every single day. She escapes from the backyard,the front door if it's open too wide, she's pulled me down while walking her, you name it she's gone and it takes hours to catch her. We tried training her when she was younger and then I tried again when we first split up and I knew that I was going to be her main caregiver. I've even considered a pet psychologist/behavior specialist to work with her on her aggression and bad behaviors. She seems to only really tear up stuff that belongs to DS and has growled at him a couple of time recently when he's gotten too close to her.
No I'm sorry - I do not believe dogs exercise themselves in the yard. One walk every single day may not be enough. How far? How long? Often times we think our pets are getting enough exercise, but are wrong.
Do you leave her in the yard? If so, why are you leaving her in the yard if she continues to escape? I assure you that leaving her in the yard is not a good plan to exercise her. It seems like YOU are the one dropping the ball doing your part to protect the healthy and safety of this dog and blaming it on her.
The dog gets plenty of exercise. She plays in the yard and I walk her every single day. She escapes from the backyard,the front door if it's open too wide, she's pulled me down while walking her, you name it she's gone and it takes hours to catch her. We tried training her when she was younger and then I tried again when we first split up and I knew that I was going to be her main caregiver. I've even considered a pet psychologist/behavior specialist to work with her on her aggression and bad behaviors. She seems to only really tear up stuff that belongs to DS and has growled at him a couple of time recently when he's gotten too close to her.
No I'm sorry - I do not believe dogs exercise themselves in the yard. One walk every single day may not be enough. How far? How long? Often times we think our pets are getting enough exercise, but are wrong.
Do you leave her in the yard? If so, why are you leaving her in the yard if she continues to escape? I assure you that leaving her in the yard is not a good plan to exercise her. It seems like YOU are the one dropping the ball doing your part to protect the healthy and safety of this dog and blaming it on her.
She gets walked in the morning and in the evening for 30 minutes each time. She has free run of the house, and I'm out in the yard with her when she's out there. I've added additional locks to the gate to ensure that she doesn't get out which has helped tremendously.
I would look into a qualified trainer before rehoming. Have them come to your house and observe the behaviors as well as get a detailed day in the life. They might be able to give you some great things to help the dog. I would also talk to the vet to make sur there aren't any health issues that are leading to the aggression. I have a 14 year old Rottie and you can tell on the days he is feeling his age because he shows much more aggression towards our pittie.
If the vet and the trainer can't help, then I would consider rehoming, but it should definitely be after trying everything else.
I would look into a qualified trainer before rehoming. Have them come to your house and observe the behaviors as well as get a detailed day in the life. They might be able to give you some great things to help the dog. I would also talk to the vet to make sur there aren't any health issues that are leading to the aggression. I have a 14 year old Rottie and you can tell on the days he is feeling his age because he shows much more aggression towards our pittie.
If the vet and the trainer can't help, then I would consider rehoming, but it should definitely be after trying everything else.
Thanks. She just had her yearly physical and the vet recommended a couple of behaviorists that I can try. Good news is all of her lab work came back great and she's on good health for her age. Like I said it's a really tough decision because she is a great companion when she's behaving well.
The dog gets plenty of exercise. She plays in the yard and I walk her every single day. She escapes from the backyard, the front door if it's open too wide, she's pulled me down while walking her, you name it she's gone and it takes hours to catch her. We tried training her when she was younger and then I tried again when we first split up and I knew that I was going to be her main caregiver. I've even considered a pet psychologist/behavior specialist to work with her on her aggression and bad behaviors. She seems to only really tear up stuff that belongs to DS and has growled at him a couple of time recently when he's gotten too close to her.
It may not seem like it but I am very torn about this because I know that she is a senior dog and I only want what's best for her. It's nice to have her around especially when DS is with my ex as she provides a lot of comfort. But with the behaviors I am at my wits end and now with the growling at DS I am concerned that her aggression issues (she has actually severely injured another dog and that dog ended up having to be put down) may be worsening. While she has always been an escape artist and aggressive towards other dogs, the destructive behaviors are new since we split and the 2 dogs were separated. Separation anxiety maybe?
Try getting a gentle lead and using the walk as a training experience. My dog on a regular leash:
The dog gets plenty of exercise. She plays in the yard and I walk her every single day. She escapes from the backyard, the front door if it's open too wide, she's pulled me down while walking her, you name it she's gone and it takes hours to catch her. We tried training her when she was younger and then I tried again when we first split up and I knew that I was going to be her main caregiver. I've even considered a pet psychologist/behavior specialist to work with her on her aggression and bad behaviors. She seems to only really tear up stuff that belongs to DS and has growled at him a couple of time recently when he's gotten too close to her.
It may not seem like it but I am very torn about this because I know that she is a senior dog and I only want what's best for her. It's nice to have her around especially when DS is with my ex as she provides a lot of comfort. But with the behaviors I am at my wits end and now with the growling at DS I am concerned that her aggression issues (she has actually severely injured another dog and that dog ended up having to be put down) may be worsening. While she has always been an escape artist and aggressive towards other dogs, the destructive behaviors are new since we split and the 2 dogs were separated. Separation anxiety maybe?
Try getting a gentle lead and using the walk as a training experience. My dog on a regular leash:
Gentle lead:
The gentle lead is amazing, it's the only way I can walk my one dog. She always fights it hardcore until I start walking and then she just trotts along next to me.
The dog gets plenty of exercise. She plays in the yard and I walk her every single day. She escapes from the backyard, the front door if it's open too wide, she's pulled me down while walking her, you name it she's gone and it takes hours to catch her. We tried training her when she was younger and then I tried again when we first split up and I knew that I was going to be her main caregiver. I've even considered a pet psychologist/behavior specialist to work with her on her aggression and bad behaviors. She seems to only really tear up stuff that belongs to DS and has growled at him a couple of time recently when he's gotten too close to her.
It may not seem like it but I am very torn about this because I know that she is a senior dog and I only want what's best for her. It's nice to have her around especially when DS is with my ex as she provides a lot of comfort. But with the behaviors I am at my wits end and now with the growling at DS I am concerned that her aggression issues (she has actually severely injured another dog and that dog ended up having to be put down) may be worsening. While she has always been an escape artist and aggressive towards other dogs, the destructive behaviors are new since we split and the 2 dogs were separated. Separation anxiety maybe?
I would say that this is a warning that he disturbed her personal space. It's not necessarily a sign of aggression. Kids can be pretty irritating to dogs, and it's your responsibility to teach your kid how to play with the dog properly and when to leave her alone. Often dogs consider kids lower members of the "pack" and thus aren't as tolerant as you'd like. Dog aggression =/= aggression toward people.
"Too much work" - so you guys split two dogs that had each other basically their whole lives, and then wonder why maybe this older pup isn't adjusting well to singleton life? You guys both kinda sound like dick owners. That being said, I do appreciate that you want what's best for the dog. Perhaps doggy daycare would help?
I agree with all of this, and I too appreciate that you say you want what is best for your dog. If you are gone during the day, can you hire a dog walker? Or add an extra half hour walk in the AM or PM so she's getting more exercise? I also think her personal space is probably being infringed upon when she's growling at your kiddo. That, or because she's an older gal, she doesn't see or hear as well anymore so people all up in her space makes her nervous. She's just giving you warning signs, so don't allow anyone to get too close to her/up in her face. Also, do you give her a Kong to keep her occupied while you're at work all day? Have you tried teaching her new tricks to give her mental exercise? From the info you've provided, she seems like a dog doing dog things to me. I hope you will love ALL of her, not just the part of her that provides you comfort, because that's what every dog deserves. The ladies here have given some very good suggestions - and a behaviorist is usually always a great help when you've ruled out medical issues, increased exercise and mental stimulation, and exhausted your training.
The dog gets plenty of exercise. She plays in the yard and I walk her every single day. She escapes from the backyard, the front door if it's open too wide, she's pulled me down while walking her, you name it she's gone and it takes hours to catch her. We tried training her when she was younger and then I tried again when we first split up and I knew that I was going to be her main caregiver. I've even considered a pet psychologist/behavior specialist to work with her on her aggression and bad behaviors. She seems to only really tear up stuff that belongs to DS and has growled at him a couple of time recently when he's gotten too close to her.
It may not seem like it but I am very torn about this because I know that she is a senior dog and I only want what's best for her. It's nice to have her around especially when DS is with my ex as she provides a lot of comfort. But with the behaviors I am at my wits end and now with the growling at DS I am concerned that her aggression issues (she has actually severely injured another dog and that dog ended up having to be put down) may be worsening. While she has always been an escape artist and aggressive towards other dogs, the destructive behaviors are new since we split and the 2 dogs were separated. Separation anxiety maybe?
I would say that this is a warning that he disturbed her personal space. It's not necessarily a sign of aggression. Kids can be pretty irritating to dogs, and it's your responsibility to teach your kid how to play with the dog properly and when to leave her alone. Often dogs consider kids lower members of the "pack" and thus aren't as tolerant as you'd like. Dog aggression =/= aggression toward people.
You should be counting your lucky stars that your dog growled at your son. She is warning both you and him to have him stay the fuck out of her space. It's your job as the adult to make sure that this happens. It will not only help your son to be safe around other dogs, but it will probably save your dog's life.
I think your son is a toddler? They can be super scary to dogs. Their movements are jerky and their walking isn't always the most predictable.
I am with the others who suggested that between being apart from her dog companion and dealing with a toddler (and also some stress of moving), she's probably just having a rough time adjusting. How long have you been living apart?
TBH I don't think exercise is the issue. I'm not an expert I guess, but I think exercising a 10 year old large dog more than an hour a day might be too much for them. My golden is 10 and she tires out sometimes on a 20-30 minute walk and wants a break. She's easily excitable when something fun is happening but is pretty lazy otherwise these days (like now she's passed out a few feet away).
I also agree that your issues (other than aggression toward your child) are easily avoidable. My other dog is very dog aggressive so he just never goes around other dogs. We don't get into situations where they can escape. When I walk them I'm always on the alert so I never get pulled down (and 2 large dogs lunging after something could definitely pull me down if I wasn't paying attention). TBH all those things sound like excuses because you aren't really a dog person and don't want to deal with it. Which, I guess is fine, but since she's elderly I think you should just keep her and not get another dog when she passes in a few years.
Wait a minute. Your dog injured another animal so much that it had to be put down? Why did you not deal with the aggression then? Wtf?
We did deal with it then. We had a whole case with animal control being involved. That's one of the times she went with a trainer. From that day forward, she has never been allowed around any other dogs except the other one we had together, she is walked on a non-retractable leash with a harness, she is muzzled when she goes to the vet, and I am constantly on alert for other dogs when she's out on a walk.
Anyways, I'm going to see about an animal behaviorist and see how that goes and go from there. I really want her to live out the rest of her life in the best possible way.
Got it. Thanks. You all think I'm a bitch for not being a huge animal lover and not being super thrilled about having a dog that wasn't even my idea in the first place but that I went along with thinking that my ex and I would be together for the duration of said dog's life. Forgive me for not being able to predict the future.
Got it. Thanks. You all think I'm a bitch for not being a huge animal lover and not being super thrilled about having a dog that wasn't even my idea in the first place but that I went along with thinking that my ex and I would be together for the duration of said dog's life. Forgive me for not being able to predict the future.
Conversation over. Go pick on someone else now.
Oookay but you have kept this dog for NINE FUCKING YEARS. And NOW you want to dump her? Please do rehome her. She deserves better than this.
Got it. Thanks. You all think I'm a bitch for not being a huge animal lover and not being super thrilled about having a dog that wasn't even my idea in the first place but that I went along with thinking that my ex and I would be together for the duration of said dog's life. Forgive me for not being able to predict the future.
Conversation over. Go pick on someone else now.
No. Not at all. We think it's awful and reprehensible to dump a senior dog and to have no regard for it's feelings, well-being or life itself. What we have a problem with is you wanting to get out of a commitment you made to the dog. With or without your partner YOU made the commitment too. We expect you to uphold one of the basic tenents of being an adult: you don't always get to do what you want. I realize you don't want to keep the dog, but it is the right, morale and kind thing to do. I don't think you understand how cruel it will be to your dog to rehome him at this point in his life.
It sounds like he would benefit from a dog walker and visits to doggie daycare. You would benefit too as he will be a much more tired dog.