We are at H's BFF's rehearsal dinner.

[Deleted]

The bride's family is so sweet, but they are VERY religious and do not drink. We had rehearsal at 5 and then rehearsal dinner is a BBQ. We drove 5 hours to get here.

Tomorrow the wedding starts at 7pm. The bride has requested T and the other flower girl, L, to be there at noon. They are taking pictures at 5pm. They expect my 3 year old to stay there all day. The place where they are getting ready is this really nice place with a lot of breakable antiques. I don't see this going well.

I need a drink.

[usuallylurking]

Why do they want her there so early? That doesn't sound like a good idea at all!

[shostakovich]

Ugh, Friday weddings.

[EmilieMadison]

Dear god. She wants a 3 year old to be there for 5 hours before they even do pictures? Um. You know what? I think this is one of those times you have to talk to the bride. The MOST IDEAL situation is that you show up 10 minutes before pictures start with your kid ready to go. Tell her flat out that there's a huge chance (like, 100%) that if the kids are actually there all day, they will be so crabby by the time the wedding actually happens that they will throw fits and cause a scene. DURING THE CEREMONY.

There is nothing your 3 year old needs to be there for during that time. At all.

[ErinExpat]

Can you show up at 12, be briefed on procedure, etc, and then take T home for a nap/snack/whatever? Maybe come back at 4?

Is she having her hair done? It won't take that long to get her into her dress, etc.

[wannabe]

Yeah, that's a big negative. The bean was a flower girl when she was 3 and the bride required us to be there hours before. We complied, she couldn't settle for a nap, wedding ran late and she slept as her sister (a bridesmaid like me) carried her down the aisle.

[Deleted]

She told me she has "activities" for them.

I think I'm going to talk to her in the morning about it. There is no way it will work.

[Deleted]

Jul 10, 2014 21:56:46 GMT -5 pinkplasticdoll said:

Is this the wedding where your H has a friend who is dating a very young girl and she couldnt come to the wedding because her parents wouldnt let her stay overnight? (or something like that)

Yes!

[Deleted]

I have not heard why she wants them there.

I can guarantee that they will not want them there after the first hour.

[renna]

I bet your daughter will be a beautiful flower girl. Hopefully, too, you can find something that works time-wise for you and your daughter. It seems really short-sighted to have the kids there for so long before ANYTHING is happening. (Don't these people helping plan know any young children??)

Good luck, Sally!

[kirra]

Say no. Absolutely not. That she will be there for pictures and the ceremony, but not all day.

I was a barely three year old flower girl, and it's been a family joke ever since because of similar idiocy.

[Deleted]

Ok. We talked. We don't have to be there until 3 now.

She is having their hair done and the hairdresser is leaving at 4.

[renna]

So much better, Sally. I'm glad there was some give there. Whew!

[Deleted]

Jul 10, 2014 22:00:30 GMT -5 EmilieMadison said:

Dear god. She wants a 3 year old to be there for 5 hours before they even do pictures? Um. You know what? I think this is one of those times you have to talk to the bride. The MOST IDEAL situation is that you show up 10 minutes before pictures start with your kid ready to go. Tell her flat out that there's a huge chance (like, 100%) that if the kids are actually there all day, they will be so crabby by the time the wedding actually happens that they will throw fits and cause a scene. DURING THE CEREMONY.

There is nothing your 3 year old needs to be there for during that time. At all.

Exactly. T would be an absolute mess without some rest.

[Deleted]

Jul 10, 2014 22:41:13 GMT -5 pinkplasticdoll said:

Jul 10, 2014 22:39:43 GMT -5 @t2j said:

Yes!

Please update as needed through the next few days. thank you. 

We are staying at the bride's parent's cabin. They came over and we are having a few beers. Bride's mom just texted groom that he needs to get her home because it is after midnight.

[thelurkylulu]

Jul 10, 2014 22:39:43 GMT -5 @t2j said:

Jul 10, 2014 21:56:46 GMT -5 pinkplasticdoll said:

Is this the wedding where your H has a friend who is dating a very young girl and she couldnt come to the wedding because her parents wouldnt let her stay overnight? (or something like that)

Yes!

So.... Whatever happened with this?

[Deleted]

Jul 11, 2014 8:10:15 GMT -5 thelurkylulu said:

Jul 10, 2014 22:39:43 GMT -5 @t2j said:

Yes!

So.... Whatever happened with this?

Not too much yet. I will update as the day goes on. I am hoping it is not too eventful.

[MixedBerryJam]

Jul 11, 2014 0:28:06 GMT -5 @t2j said:

Jul 10, 2014 22:41:13 GMT -5 pinkplasticdoll said:

Please update as needed through the next few days. thank you. 

We are staying at the bride's parent's cabin. They came over and we are having a few beers. Bride's mom just texted groom that he needs to get her home because it is after midnight.

Wait a sec ... because it is after midnight and it's past curfew on the day before she's getting married; or because it's after midnight and now the groom will see the bride before the wedding? Not that either explanation is acceptable, but the explanation will determine the degree of my eyeroll!

If I were the groom I would be seriously questioning the roll my inlaws will have in my marriage going forward.

[Deleted]

Jul 11, 2014 9:38:07 GMT -5 MixedBerryJam said:

Jul 11, 2014 0:28:06 GMT -5 @t2j said:

We are staying at the bride's parent's cabin. They came over and we are having a few beers. Bride's mom just texted groom that he needs to get her home because it is after midnight.

Wait a sec ... because it is after midnight and it's past curfew on the day before she's getting married; or because it's after midnight and now the groom will see the bride before the wedding? Not that either explanation is acceptable, but the explanation will determine the degree of my eyeroll!

If I were the groom I would be seriously questioning the roll my inlaws will have in my marriage going forward.

Because it was too late and she needed to get home.

[wambam]

Jul 11, 2014 9:53:20 GMT -5 @t2j said:

Jul 11, 2014 9:38:07 GMT -5 MixedBerryJam said:

Wait a sec ... because it is after midnight and it's past curfew on the day before she's getting married; or because it's after midnight and now the groom will see the bride before the wedding? Not that either explanation is acceptable, but the explanation will determine the degree of my eyeroll!

If I were the groom I would be seriously questioning the roll my inlaws will have in my marriage going forward.

Because it was too late and she needed to get home.

Sweet Jesus, who are these people?

[jlt19]

Jul 11, 2014 9:53:20 GMT -5 @t2j said:

Jul 11, 2014 9:38:07 GMT -5 MixedBerryJam said:

Wait a sec ... because it is after midnight and it's past curfew on the day before she's getting married; or because it's after midnight and now the groom will see the bride before the wedding? Not that either explanation is acceptable, but the explanation will determine the degree of my eyeroll!

If I were the groom I would be seriously questioning the roll my inlaws will have in my marriage going forward.

Because it was too late and she needed to get home.

Poor guy.

[EmilieMadison]

Jul 11, 2014 10:07:33 GMT -5 jlt19 said:

Jul 11, 2014 9:53:20 GMT -5 @t2j said:

Because it was too late and she needed to get home.

Poor guy.

No. This guy knows exactly what he's getting into. I don't feel sorry for people who put themselves in situations like this. he picked her!

[Deleted]

Jul 10, 2014 21:53:19 GMT -5 @t2j said:

The bride's family is so sweet, but they are VERY religious and do not drink. We had rehearsal at 5 and then rehearsal dinner is a BBQ. We drove 5 hours to get here.

Tomorrow the wedding starts at 7pm. The bride has requested T and the other flower girl, L, to be there at noon. They are taking pictures at 5pm. They expect my 3 year old to stay there all day. The place where they are getting ready is this really nice place with a lot of breakable antiques. I don't see this going well.

I need a drink.

Just politely say she won't be able to do it. Have her come 1/2 hour before pictures. Feel free to ask what she's wanting when she made that proposal and provide an alternate plan that achieves that goal.

[Deleted]

Ok this isn't a safe place and I hope this doesn't get outed IRL, but other flower girls mom and I are pretty sure the bride is pregnant.

[EmilieMadison]

Jul 11, 2014 12:52:19 GMT -5 @t2j said:

Ok this isn't a safe place and I hope this doesn't get outed IRL, but other flower girls mom and I are pretty sure the bride is pregnant.

SHOCKER.
No, really. This would not surprise me in the least, based on what you've said so far. Also, be prepared for a big "Honeymoon baby" announcement, and for said "honeymoon baby" to arrive a few months early, miraculously healthy and the size of a full-term infant

[bex1973]

Jul 11, 2014 10:27:43 GMT -5 @kcpokergal said:

Jul 10, 2014 21:53:19 GMT -5 @t2j said:

The bride's family is so sweet, but they are VERY religious and do not drink. We had rehearsal at 5 and then rehearsal dinner is a BBQ. We drove 5 hours to get here.

Tomorrow the wedding starts at 7pm. The bride has requested T and the other flower girl, L, to be there at noon. They are taking pictures at 5pm. They expect my 3 year old to stay there all day. The place where they are getting ready is this really nice place with a lot of breakable antiques. I don't see this going well.

I need a drink.

Just politely say she won't be able to do it. Have her come 1/2 hour before pictures. Feel free to ask what she's wanting when she made that proposal and provide an alternate plan that achieves that goal.

Ummmm.... Didn't. Read. LOL

[sandyapples]

Jul 11, 2014 10:07:33 GMT -5 jlt19 said:

Jul 11, 2014 9:53:20 GMT -5 @t2j said:

Because it was too late and she needed to get home.

Poor guy.

Sorry I don't feel bad for guys who marry child brides.

[jlt19]

Jul 11, 2014 13:04:44 GMT -5 sandyapples said:

Jul 11, 2014 10:07:33 GMT -5 jlt19 said:

Poor guy.

Sorry I don't feel bad for guys who marry child brides.

The comment was TIC, but who said she was a child bride?

[Deleted]

Jul 11, 2014 12:56:56 GMT -5 EmilieMadison said:

Jul 11, 2014 12:52:19 GMT -5 @t2j said:

Ok this isn't a safe place and I hope this doesn't get outed IRL, but other flower girls mom and I are pretty sure the bride is pregnant.

SHOCKER.
No, really. This would not surprise me in the least, based on what you've said so far. Also, be prepared for a big "Honeymoon baby" announcement, and for said "honeymoon baby" to arrive a few months early, miraculously healthy and the size of a full-term infant

He said 3-4 times last night to us and her family that they were going to try to get pregnant on their honeymoon.

[EmilieMadison]

Jul 11, 2014 13:15:58 GMT -5 @t2j said:

Jul 11, 2014 12:56:56 GMT -5 EmilieMadison said:

SHOCKER.
No, really. This would not surprise me in the least, based on what you've said so far. Also, be prepared for a big "Honeymoon baby" announcement, and for said "honeymoon baby" to arrive a few months early, miraculously healthy and the size of a full-term infant

He said 3-4 times last night to us and her family that they were going to try to get pregnant on their honeymoon.

Bingo!