My only concern about the trees would be if one didn't take, would it cause a lot of negative feelings? Or would it be easy to replace it without feeling too badly?
Deeply sorry for your loss. I can certainly understand why you do what you do with the urn. Hugs!
I'm not going to be upset if one doesn't take. And if one doesn't we'll certainly replace. Each tree will have meaning but for me it's more of just having that 'spot' to go. The collective area over one specific tree.
I spoke to my FIL and he is very confident we'd have no problems growing the apple trees. I also asked him about the bee's and he said they would only be around during the flowering stages (felt like a duh moment there lol). But we won't have the tree's directly near the house. We have 2.75 acres and will put it on the far back side of our property. Since my FIL has a really good green thumb and has planted many apple trees himself I'm going to trust him on this one. And likely seek his help. Which I'm sure he'd already offer without us asking.
Since I'm rather new here I guess I'll go a bit deeper. My need to remember isn't out of sadness but as a symbol of a child that was there that I'll meet in some afterlife. My losses I have come to terms with and time has been such a healing tool for me, even more so after having my daughter. I mean for me if there was any sadness it was when I looked at my daughter as a newborn as she's something very tangible, to put a face to our losses. She was representative of magnitude in which we lost. Mind you this was when she was first born that grief really took hold of me, partly maybe because of post postpartum hormones but also as a means for me to let go. But this isn't to hold onto the grief and I realize how contradictory that may sound to my previous let go statement. I truly can't explain it very well lol. I feel the need, like a gravitational pull to remember them in this way. I don't have photos, clothing, articles from the hosptial. I have a sonogram from one the rest passed way to soon. I personally feel after I lost them (2012) that I just need that item. Think of it as a gravestone to a family member or friend that you lost. If the trees don't make it I won't see it as some loss. I'll see it as trying again, just as we did for 4 years.
I think of this idea and my heart experiences such a full feeling, just feels right.
Thank you again everyone. I will definitely take everything into consideration and talk with some green thumbs around this area
You make perfect sense, and I'm sorry for your losses. Having one loss myself, I understand your need to have something tangible, something more than just the memories of pregnancies which ended too soon.
Your idea sounds like a beautiful way for you and your family to remember/connect with your children.