I'm about ready to lose my shit!

[oswin]

Jul 17, 2014 13:24:54 GMT -5 namasteak said:

Would you feel better about a babysitter if they came over a few times as a mothers helper and then you could use them as a baby sitter when you are comfortable?

I was going to suggest this as well. Do you know anyone nearby with small children who might be able to recommend a sitter? That's how we found our babysitter - we got to know some neighbors with a slightly older baby and we use the same sitter as them.

[bananapancakes]

Jul 17, 2014 13:24:54 GMT -5 namasteak said:

Would you feel better about a babysitter if they came over a few times as a mothers helper and then you could use them as a baby sitter when you are comfortable?

Good idea. I'll do some looking around.

[gibbinator]

Just start asking for help! You need help, ask for and accept all help offered! Just one good stretch of sleep will do wonders for you. If you can think of someone willing, who knows your situation, I'm sure they'll come to your aide.

The mother's helper is a great idea too. You feel uncomfortable with a stranger alone with your baby but this way you are hiring someone to help YOU while you're there. Even if you don't take the opportunity to sleep because you feel paranoid, at least someone else can do your dishes, make you some food, take care of you a bit while you sit, nurse and watch TV. I can only imagine how hard it is to keep everything running all by yourself.

[holly116]

Jul 17, 2014 13:45:03 GMT -5 bananapancakes said:

Jul 17, 2014 13:24:54 GMT -5 namasteak said:

Would you feel better about a babysitter if they came over a few times as a mothers helper and then you could use them as a baby sitter when you are comfortable?

Good idea. I'll do some looking around.

I was going to suggest this. I have a teenage babysitter come once a week. She's cheap and plays with my kids while I get stuff done around here. My baby doesn't take a bottle so it's awesome that if he gets to be too much, she can just come get me because I'm here. I am doing a million times better because I can actually get SOMETHING done. Versus nothing, day after day, week after week.

Also, we joined a gym when my baby was 6 months. It was the very first time I left him with anyone while he was awake. At first, I would hurry up and work out and take a lightening fast shower to get to him just as soon as I could. Now, 3 months later, I take my time, shave my legs, dry my hair. It is GLORIOUS. And I've lost weight which is seriously, just a bonus to the moment of free time I get a few times a week. Utilize that Y membership, stat!

[dulcemariamar]

But your in-laws cant watch the baby at your house why you nap? If there is a problem you are right there.

I think you just need to be blunt with people. Be clear with what you need. People might not be aware that you need help unless you ask them. And if they have kids, then they totally would understand.

[Deleted]

(hugs) You received great advice from everyone here. I hope you are able to ask for help soon, even though asking might not come natural to you. Your baby will be fine and you will be better off after a break. I did babysitting for a family once whose daughter was a bit high maintenance, didn't take a bottle, and had never been away from the mother. It was difficult for me since she screamed a lot at me, but I just wore her in a baby harness for a few hours so that the mother could get out. She was surprised at how much better she felt. Does your baby like to be worn? Could you hire a babysitter just to wear the baby or take baby out for a walk in the pushchair for his nap?

[lolo]

Would it help to ask via text? Sometimes that's easier.

I was going to suggest partnering with another mom and offering to trade afternoons or similar.

[lg28]

You need to ask for help, pronto! Nobody can do it all, and flying solo at that. If you're well-rested the parenting thing is a bit easier i swear.

Does your baby take a bottle? See if you can find a daycare spot 1x per week. When DS was about 4 months I started him part time. It took a bit of work to find something (since most moms are on their full year) but we found an amazing girl and that gave me a break, even when I wasn't working. I know it's hard to leave them at first, but seriously if you can find someone, do it.