Facebook friends boundaries

[catsarecute]

If you have family members on Facebook, do you friend all of them?

DH has a large large family on both sides. I've met a very small number of people in person. Out of nowhere, I got tons of requests from aunts, uncles and older cousins. I will probably never meet them because they live out of state and my FIL isn't close with his siblings.

Am I "obligated" to friend them?

[ssmjlm]

I wouldn't.

But I also unfriended my BIL and his wife after some stuff they pulled over the holidays. So I might not be the best to answer.

[catsarecute]

For me, there is just something weird about someone that I have never met or never had a conversation with (online or in person) seeing all my pictures, etc. My rule for his family is that if I tell him a name and he says "I don't know who that is" they don't get friended!!

[imojoebunny]

My post on facebook are exactly for those people that don't see our family often. Family members who we are not close to. It depends on what you want to get out of facebook. It has brought us closer to some family members and it is nice when they are in our town or us in theirs. They have no hesitation about visiting, but again, our goal is to connect with family, so we don't have a zillion friends or post a lot of controversial stuff.

[osulori]

I don't think you're obligated, no.

[lulu21]

I made the mistake of friending H's uncle and he constantly 'shares' my pictures which drives me crazy. I now will not friend family, but wait for them to friend me. You could always accept but limit what they can see. I've had to do they with some family.

[gogadgetgo]

I'm friends with some extended family but not others. DH has an uncle who doesn't need to be my friend but I'm friends with his cousins. Hasn't been an issue so far.

[elocrates]

Well, I "ignored" the friend request of my mom or my FIL, as well as several aunts and uncles (whom I do see on a semi-regular basis). I am "friends" with my sister and some (but not all) of my and DH's cousins. I basically accept friend requests of people I trust to not share pictures of my kids or tag me in stupid stuff. Maybe that makes me mean. Oh well. I don't use facebook very often.

ETA: So I say do what you want. You're not obligated to friend all or none.

[booboo173]

Welli ignored mil friend request and then blocked her when she shared what I did not realize was a public album with a bunch of people so I say no

[everafter07]

Nooooooooo. No.

[redheadbaker]

Do you *have* to? No. I personally would, but I'm friends with extended members of my own family that live in Scotland and Australia. I will likely never get to meet them, but I'm glad I can "know" them through Facebook.

[SJ]

I don't think you are obligated to do anything! I would probably be ok with saying yes, and you can always modify permissions and privacy settings, but ultimately it's your choice and your account.

[frlcb]

Of course you aren't obligated to friend them, no one is obligated to friend anyone. But saying you find it weird for extended family to see pictures of your child is odd.

[catsarecute]

Jul 17, 2014 20:56:17 GMT -5 frlcb said:

Of course you aren't obligated to friend them, no one is obligated to friend anyone. But saying you find it weird for extended family to see pictures of your child is odd.

I agree. It is odd. But to me, they are strangers. DH has never even met some of them. I'm probably being dramatic about it.

[niq]

Yes, but I mute a lot of the cousins and great aunts and stuff.

I wouldn't consider myself obligated to friend them. But they click like on the baby pictures, so I figure it's valuable to them.

[frlcb]

Jul 17, 2014 21:12:54 GMT -5 catsarecute said:

Jul 17, 2014 20:56:17 GMT -5 frlcb said:

Of course you aren't obligated to friend them, no one is obligated to friend anyone. But saying you find it weird for extended family to see pictures of your child is odd.

I agree. It is odd. But to me, they are strangers. DH has never even met some of them. I'm probably being dramatic about it.

Then don't friend them. But I do think it is slightly over the top. But I am also in the minority on here that I don't care if extended family members see photos of my children.

[kershnic]

Pretty much I accept friend requests from anyone I know who they are. I don't put anything on Facebook that I wouldn't share with almost anyone. And yes, that includes cute pictures of my kids... I know some people are very particular about it, but I just can't see what the harm is.

[MadamePresident]

I generally will accept a friend request, but don't go out and make them. I'm pretty intentional about not sharing things on fb that I don't want everyone to know.

I Do have some random friend from when I managed the fb page for a leadership organization that I am part of.

[ECB]

Nope. Not obligated. I too ignored my FILs friend request. Hes friends w/ DH - I just don't need him having that access to my life too. DH even sometimes wishes he wasn't friends w/ his dad!

[jackie011]

DH's immediate family is very small. His mom has one sister who is older, her kids are older and now all of the grandchildren are getting married (DH's first cousins kids) and having their own children. Facebook is pretty much the only way to keep all of them straight. I enjoy getting to "know" the kids through FB and they've always had nice things to say about DS. Don't always agree with the politics, but so far that hasn't been been much of an issue.

My family is tiny and old. I'm the start of the next generation, and no one else is getting married or having kids any time soon. I'd love to have more family to "friend" but there really isn't anyone else out there.

[Stingyshark]

I wouldn't. I'm "friends" with Some of Hs family, but they are blocked after some shit talking they did while I was pregnant.


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[irish]

I've repeatedly declined a request from my aunt. I see her quite often. When she asked (in person) about it I just said I don't friend many people. It would just feel weird having her as a friend if I post about nights out with my friends etc...