DD2 has really been acting out since SIL passing

[AHappierHour]

My MIL is DD2 absolute favorite person and they are like BFF's. Since SIL passing MIL has pulled away to take care of the service and give herself time to grieve and help with SIL's kids. I completely understand all of this but DD2 does not. All DD2 wants is her. She misses her so much. She wakes up most days wanting to go to her house. I tell her not today she is working but soon. If MIL happens to stop by for something or we go over there for dinner DD2 has the biggest meltdown if she can't stay. It's just so sad. I don't know what to do. I try and take them somewhere every day to keep DD2 busy. 

Does anyone have any ideas to help?

[amberlyrose]

Not sure how old your kid is, but could you set a date in advance for a Grandma day? Maybe in a month or so? Then she can track it on the calendar. It could be something simple like meeting up with her for a burger or ice cream.

[Deleted]

Yes, try and pick a date in the future and count down.

Poor thing ((hugs)) and I am sorry about your SIL

[AHappierHour]

I like the idea of a calendar. She is almost 4 and I think the visuals help her understand time. MIL says she is going to let them have a sleepover soon but I'm trying not to push anything. I know right now everything is on a day by day basis.

[amberlyrose]

Jul 22, 2014 10:55:37 GMT -5 AHappierHour said:

I like the idea of a calendar. She is almost 4 and I think the visuals help her understand time. MIL says she is going to let them have a sleepover soon but I'm trying not to push anything. I know right now everything is on a day by day basis.

I'd set something more simple right now and if it works out that they can sleep over that day, then it'll be a surprise. I'd keep expectations low just so she can have something to look forward to. 
Poor thing- I'm sorry your family is going through this right now.

[alexis]

Could you put together a photo album with pictures of MIL? DH is working crazy hours recently and my 2yo DD misses him a lot. Looking at pictures of him on FB together helps her. Also, maybe she could chat on the phone or skype with MIL if MIL can't make firm plans to get together right now.

[whattheheck]

Was she close to your SIL? Were you? She is probably also picking up on a lot of the grief and anger that comes with death. Have you tried being somewhat blunt with her? When my mom was very sick I had to spend a lot of time with her and my kids didn't really understand why I was gone so much. I explained that when they are sick and need something, that's what I focus on. And this time it was grandma who was sick and needed someone to take care of her and since I love Grandma just like I love them, of course I take care of her. And that's what your MIL is doing . . . taking care of the most urgent need first the same way she would if your DD had an urgent problem.

[jennistarr1]

write a letter to g-ma, lets color a picture for gma, let's call g-ma

[readyin07]

This breaks my heart for her...for all of your family How old are your SIL's kids, how recently did she pass? I understand how that is probably taking up a lot of your MIL's bandwidth right now. Are you and your DH comfortable enough mentioning this to her or do you think it would cause her to feel over obligated? Maybe plan a few short outings with a finite beginning an end that won't wear your MIL out or make your DD feel like she is being shortchanged (ice cream, a movie...). It's a hard balance. My little people are a lot of work for my parents and they can wear them out. But I know for both of them when they are having a rough time, they also want to be around them b/c their little personalities also bring a lot of joy. It's a hard balance I also know from my parents' perspective that it would be worse for them knowing my kids were hurting b/c they weren't seeing them.