Seriously... me too. Than I see myself in the gym mirror as I'm sweating on the treadmill and it's not pretty! (my gut, not the sweat! Although that's not pretty either!)
I can hide it somewhat better in regular clothes, but it's still not pretty
I saw 2 college friends last night and it was AWESOME to catch up. We had such a great night having long conversations over dinner.
My one friend is struggling with infertility, though--I think she's been trying for her first since DH and I started trying for L, so what? 3 years at this point? But the doctors won't do any interventions until she gets her BMI below a certain level. Is this a common thing??? I mean, is this just standard operating procedure for all IF treatments?
I was so mad for her. She's like 8 pounds away from that BMI. She's going to be 39 in a couple of months. Will that extra 8 pounds really make or break these interventions? As someone with a far-from-perfect BMI, it just felt like the worst kind of fat shaming--you're too fat to deserve a child, or something. Rage.
I asked her if she was on any message boards, and she said no. I'm thinking of directing her to TTTC here. But I always get a teeny bit nervous when real life people enter GBCN world. jessnpaul excepted
Heh... I'm honored. But I already knew you were crazy pre-MMM... nothing I've read here comes as a surprise ;-)
And yes, I have heard of this. I worry that this will be a problem for me as well. While I'm not obese, I'm not in the healthy BMI range either. I have about 15-20 pounds to get there, and my weight won't budge
But 8 pounds?! Really?!?!?! For that (and her age) they should just let her go for it!
Also, I have no idea who this is... and you know me, I'm nosy ;-)
I saw 2 college friends last night and it was AWESOME to catch up. We had such a great night having long conversations over dinner.
My one friend is struggling with infertility, though--I think she's been trying for her first since DH and I started trying for L, so what? 3 years at this point? But the doctors won't do any interventions until she gets her BMI below a certain level. Is this a common thing??? I mean, is this just standard operating procedure for all IF treatments?
I was so mad for her. She's like 8 pounds away from that BMI. She's going to be 39 in a couple of months. Will that extra 8 pounds really make or break these interventions? As someone with a far-from-perfect BMI, it just felt like the worst kind of fat shaming--you're too fat to deserve a child, or something. Rage.
I asked her if she was on any message boards, and she said no. I'm thinking of directing her to TTTC here. But I always get a teeny bit nervous when real life people enter GBCN world. jessnpaul excepted
Has she seen a different RE for another opinion? My RE didn't have BMI requirements but i have heard this is very common. I feel sad for her...8 lbs is no big deal!
I think I'm going to get my hair chopped tomorrow! I said I would grow it to my boobs-it's past my shoulders now and I'm sick of it. I think I look better with shorter hair anyways. Going for this www.ivillage.com/january-jones-trendy-bob-hairstyle/5-b-298557
I posted this in the vents too, but it is the only thing on my mind, so I'm posting again: today I have to take one of our dogs to the vet to be put down. H and I knew he was sick when we rescued him last year, but that doesn't make it any easier. The vet said the other day, he is in pain and suffering, but still, I feel sick to my stomach today. I just want to hid in bed.
I feel sad so many people can't look at pictures of themselves if they gain weight / feel shame about gaining weight (inspired by ML thread). I get that there is often a health implication to weight gain but ultimately it is one small part of who you are. I look back in pictures from a year ago and yeah I was much heavier but not a different person. I am not disgusted by past me. I think of how I beat myself up over holding onto baby weight for a year... life is too short for that B.S.
At any rate, not trying to make people feel bad. I just wish we could make more peace with our bodies at a societal level.
I am constantly reminding myself of that article from last year advising us to get in the pictures with our kids. My post twin body is uh, a little beat up, but I want those memories with my kids. So i try to remember that when I feel less than confident pretty much on a daily basis.
I saw 2 college friends last night and it was AWESOME to catch up. We had such a great night having long conversations over dinner.
My one friend is struggling with infertility, though--I think she's been trying for her first since DH and I started trying for L, so what? 3 years at this point? But the doctors won't do any interventions until she gets her BMI below a certain level. Is this a common thing??? I mean, is this just standard operating procedure for all IF treatments?
I was so mad for her. She's like 8 pounds away from that BMI. She's going to be 39 in a couple of months. Will that extra 8 pounds really make or break these interventions? As someone with a far-from-perfect BMI, it just felt like the worst kind of fat shaming--you're too fat to deserve a child, or something. Rage.
I asked her if she was on any message boards, and she said no. I'm thinking of directing her to TTTC here. But I always get a teeny bit nervous when real life people enter GBCN world. jessnpaul excepted
I think this is pretty standard. The chances of the intervention working increase with a healthy BMI. My brother and his wife have apparently been trying for a while (years) and he doctor said he won't do anything until she was under 200 lbs. My SIL is a very large women, partially due to genes and admittedly life choices as she says. They just started treatment.
Being eight lbs away sucks, but she's almost there!! Hopefully she will be there in another month!
Daycare mentioned that for the last few days, when a particular Mom comes to pick up, DS rushes over to her, tries to climb into the carseat or climb up her legs to go home with her.
They said she looks nothing like me.
Tonight there is a cookout at daycare and I'm dying to see who this person is... I really hope she looks like someone we know (maybe my BFF? SIL?) otherwise I'm a little weirded out my kid wants to be adopted by another family, lol
When I used to pick up J there was a little boy who always ran to the door and wanted to go with me. He used to hang on my leg when I was there talking to the teachers and would cry for me to pick him up and when we left he stood at thr door crying for me lol. But this kid was between 18mos and 2!
Post by rootbeerfloat on Jul 24, 2014 12:44:07 GMT -5
Add me to the club of thinking I look pretty good until I see pictures. In my head, I have one chin and a fresh face that doesn't need make up. Wrong, lol.
I'm packing us up to make the hour trek to DH's office to sign some paperwork. We're borrowing a little from our 401(k) as an emergency fund while we drain our savings to buy the house. Hopefully we won't have to touch the 401(k) money and can put it all back after we close. I know MM would not approve, but it's what we've gotta do.
We drained our savings completely to buy current our house, hoping our old house would sell quickly so we could put the equity back in savings. I was 20ish weeks pregnant and we had two mortgages (thankfully only had to pay two for one month). No judgement here on making sure you've got a little cushion!
Thanks! It's looking like our two mortgages won't overlap, so that's a huge relief. We just need a little cushion, like you said.
I am nowhere near a healthy BMI/weight and it has never once been an issue with fertility treatments (at least as far as clomid/femara or possible IUI). Not sure if it is different with IVF.
I saw 2 college friends last night and it was AWESOME to catch up. We had such a great night having long conversations over dinner.
My one friend is struggling with infertility, though--I think she's been trying for her first since DH and I started trying for L, so what? 3 years at this point? But the doctors won't do any interventions until she gets her BMI below a certain level. Is this a common thing??? I mean, is this just standard operating procedure for all IF treatments?
I was so mad for her. She's like 8 pounds away from that BMI. She's going to be 39 in a couple of months. Will that extra 8 pounds really make or break these interventions? As someone with a far-from-perfect BMI, it just felt like the worst kind of fat shaming--you're too fat to deserve a child, or something. Rage.
I asked her if she was on any message boards, and she said no. I'm thinking of directing her to TTTC here. But I always get a teeny bit nervous when real life people enter GBCN world. jessnpaul excepted
The only difference in my IF treatments from someone who was a normal weight was that my RE recommended injections in my shoulder vs. my stomach b/c of differences in fat concentration. (insert here, my stomach isn't even my worst problem area!) FWIW, my starting BMI was like 36? 37?
I can't remember what my REs threshold was for BMI but I know he didn't cut off patients from getting treatments if they were over a certain number...I just remember BMI being dependent on the type of anesthesia you got for the egg retrieval.
Post by MadamePresident on Jul 24, 2014 13:33:53 GMT -5
My FIL came over this morning and completely cleaned my kitchen and vacuumed the main floor. He also played with Nods and told us how adorable the new baby is. I love living near family that will raise my kids and help us around the house when we have a newborn.
I saw a pic DH took of me over memorial day weekend and was like "do I really look that fat?" and he honestly said that's what you look like. Not mean, just yes sweetie, the picture is right.
And yet, even with weaning I can't get the weight to come off.
Basically to me it isn't so helpful to be like GLAD I DON'T HAVE TO MAKE THE CHOICE, my child was born in October. I mean I would be happy for that too, no need to share IMO.
I just can't relate here. Dd1 has an 8/15 bday and we have an 8/31 cut off. I feel like I'm lucky that she's going to be able to go ahead where her 9/1 cousin has to stay back.
I think this is pretty standard. The chances of the intervention working increase with a healthy BMI. My brother and his wife have apparently been trying for a while (years) and he doctor said he won't do anything until she was under 200 lbs. My SIL is a very large women, partially due to genes and admittedly life choices as she says. They just started treatment.
Being eight lbs away sucks, but she's almost there!! Hopefully she will be there in another month!
This response is rubbing me all kinds of ways. Mostly the wrong ones.
I'm really sorry it did, and that was not my intent. When I did explore IVF, when we thought there was a medical issue, the fertility specialist was very blunt with me and said they had 'rules for a reason' and then listed off a bunch and weight was one of them as was not doing IVF is a women was still nursing (and I was at the time of inquiring). My brother said that their doctor was pretty up front with them too.
I didn't mean for it to come of as not sympathetic, and I feel horrible for your friend. Struggle with IF is a complete mind-F&£!, but my understand is the rules are not arbitrary, but are based on optimal medical conditions. However, I'm not a doctor, but from the research DH and I did into it, this is my understand. I hope your friend starts her treatment soon.
I didn't mean for it to come of as not sympathetic, and I feel horrible for your friend. Struggle with IF is a complete mind-F&£!, but my understand is the rules are not arbitrary, but are based on optimal medical conditions. However, I'm not a doctor, but from the research DH and I did into it, this is my understand. I hope your friend starts her treatment soon.
Well... yeah. So is anything. But if I have diabetes, I'm going to take insulin WHILE trying to lose weight, you know?
ETA: Ohhhhhh. You're no goldfish/"clean eating" only poster. (idea)
Haha, yea, that's me. Great... I wish I could take that whole things back. That's the only thing people actually remember about me.
I didn't mean for it to come of as not sympathetic, and I feel horrible for your friend. Struggle with IF is a complete mind-F&£!, but my understand is the rules are not arbitrary, but are based on optimal medical conditions. However, I'm not a doctor, but from the research DH and I did into it, this is my understand. I hope your friend starts her treatment soon.
Well... yeah. So is anything. But if I have diabetes, I'm going to take insulin WHILE trying to lose weight, you know?
ETA: Ohhhhhh. You're no goldfish/"clean eating" only poster. (idea)
I don't get the BMI requirement at all. Shouldn't it be if the individual is exhibiting health risks due to being overweight and not a number? Haven't studies shown that there are a lot of very healthy individuals with what would be considered a higher BMI?
At some point, and I'm guessing it's before 39, age becomes the more pressing factor over BMI. Unless we're talking serious risks to being put under for the egg retrieval, I don't understand denying treatment.
Post by rootbeerfloat on Jul 24, 2014 14:07:44 GMT -5
@starry, I'm sensitive about red-shirting posts because inevitably the late-born smarty-pants (or moms of them) show up to say that they did fine. Well, my kid struggled! If I had just held him in my womb 5 more days (and given birth to a 10lb child, lol), I could've avoided it! (He's fine now, though.)
Haha, yea, that's me. Great... I wish I could take that whole things back. That's the only thing people actually remember about me.
Lol, it's all in good fun. That goldfish thread was good times.
I do hope that you have more sympathy for weight/eating/snacking (lol) struggles IRL though.
If it makes you feel any better, due to my pregnancy cravings today for lunch I had a cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese and three pieces of PB toast.
I've dealt with family weight issues my whole life. My grandma is significantly clinically obese. Like 5'2, 540 lbs at her highest. She broke one of those hospital arms that move overweight people, basically the majority of her life has been clouded by her weight. Weight ruined her life, it's actually very sad. She has an addiction problem; food and gambling. Bingo nearly did her on on both -- too many old women eating candy and cakes while spending loads of money. Hence why I am probably a bit crazier than most when it comes to food. I once watched her eat, in one sitting, one whole box of danishes (the one with 12 danishes) from Sam's club. Not the premade kind, but the big ones from the bakery that were 'made in the store'. Believe it or not, my experiences with her and food and all of them are negative, have significantly impacted me. I have a lot of sympathy for those struggling with weight, especially those around them, for a long time it made me nearly scared to eat anything.
Anyway, I hope your friend meets her weight loss goal and has her baby.
Just jumping in to say I was always the youngest in my class (born near the end of the calendar year back when cutoffs were Dec 31) and never suffered for it.
Ditto! ETA: Except for when everyone else could drive, but I still only had a permit. That was lame.
Signed, late August birthday with a 9/1 cut off
This is going to be DD. I am always happy to hear when people say they did not have problems with being the youngest. I have an Oct birthday so I was one of the oldest in my class, so no personal experience for me. I was due early Sept and was sort of hoping for a Sept birthday so I did not have to worry about it. At this point we plan to send her on time.
DD is very busy eating the tags on her piano mat. I'm taking her to BRU to buy her those Taggies things today. And I should probably feed her some breakfast now.
My kid has a Taggie thing but is still obsessed with the tags on the piano mat