It would depend on a few variables. Whether she was married, whether she knew DH was married, and whether I knew her or her husband.
I would like to say I wouldn't, but I hate it when people get away with shit. So I'd probably end up saying/doing something stupid and just make myself look crazy.
I didn't. I didn't want to know all the details. I knew enough and what I knew killed me.
I am here with you. My husband was having an emotional affair and I 98% sure it did not go physical and I discovered it before it did. The 2% does kill me though. I am still working through that and it has been 4 years.
I would contact the other woman. I don't care that she did not make a vow to me- you do not go for another person's spouse, period. This does not mean that my spouse would escape my wrath, it's not like I can't go after them both.
What I would say is a completely different story, however. I don't want to even let my mind go there.
Nope. She's not the one I'm married to, she's not the one who betrayed me.
I had a serious ex bf that two-timed me and another girl (we were both under the impression that we were the girlfriend and the other one was the side piece), and at one point (after I caught him) she got in touch with me trying to explain her side of things/get my side of the story. I basically told her "Look, right now all I know about you is your name and that we both have picked a loser. And that's all I WANT to know about you. If you want to talk to somebody about this, try our ex-boyfriend, but I'm outie"
I pretty much still feel that way-if DH ever cheats on me, I seriously don't give a shit who she is, I just want to light his suits on fire and move on with my life.
If this happened to me, I would go full fucking Caper on everyone involved.
All rationality would go so far out the window.
Thank you. There's a lot of unnecessary maturity in here, lol. I would fuck shit up.
I can tell you right now that I consider myself a pretty level headed and rational person and when I started suspecting, I thought to myself "ok, this is between him and I"
And then I saw her phone number and how often they called each other and how long it had been going on. And I got angry. And I wanted to speak to her because how could someone carry on with a married man? I wanted to know why. And I wanted to show him that I wasn't scared of him/wasn't going to sit there and take it.
All this "no I wouldn't" and "what good would it do" stuff is a little lol to me. I thought the same things when reading about others who did it and then I found myself there. And in between the tears and anger and feeling like your heart is being stepped on, you do some things that might not seem too rational or may seem pointless.
I am here with you. My husband was having an emotional affair and I 98% sure it did not go physical and I discovered it before it did. The 2% does kill me though. I am still working through that and it has been 4 years.
If you don't mind asking, are you still together? My fear is being miserable never being able to trust again if we stay together.
Yes, we are and it has been rough, I won't lie. I think b/c the most of me believes it did not go physical and I believe when I told him, her or us, it wasn't an issue. I will not sugarcoat though, there are still feelings of resentment, everything is not hunky dory and I am making him put time into this marriage as I am doing, I felt it was worth saving.
I don't think so, but only because it would probably make me feel worse to have any sort of contact with her. I know my H is the one who took a vow, blah blah, but I don't think other women are innocent parties either.
This is how I felt. I didn't need to waste any of my time and energy on her & her husband. I debated it, but in the end, I wasn't sure I thought I would gain from talking to her. I presumed she was pretty fucking low & deluded if she was messing around with my XH and I didn't want any additional drama in my life.
I am here with you. My husband was having an emotional affair and I 98% sure it did not go physical and I discovered it before it did. The 2% does kill me though. I am still working through that and it has been 4 years.
If you don't mind asking, are you still together? My fear is being miserable never being able to trust again if we stay together.
Nope. And that was the best thing for me. I'm so much happier now.
I am here with you. My husband was having an emotional affair and I 98% sure it did not go physical and I discovered it before it did. The 2% does kill me though. I am still working through that and it has been 4 years.
If you don't mind asking, are you still together? My fear is being miserable never being able to trust again if we stay together.
I'll chime in here. DH had a physical and emotional affair (though brief during a high stress time in our marriage).
DH broke the affair off (and has been completely transparent), got individual counseling. We did that Retrovaille program, and we've been seeing a marriage counselor.
Him making all the effort to save our marriage is helping a lot. He's doing everything he possibly can, though I'm not sure if it will be enough yet. I'm in a better place and actually am at the point where I enjoy spending time with him, but the pain is still raw. I'm not sure if I can ever move past it, but I'm giving it a go.
I'm sorry. I don't know what I'd do. Does she know he's married?
I think it would feel really good at first to confront her, but I think after I'd feel sick that I did. I wouldn't want her to feel like she got to me in any way.
Yep, she knows married and has baby! H Texted her to beak it off and she responded with some bs and apologized for problems she caused with his family.
She is in a serious relationship & lives w/her boyfriend.
Oh well in that case I'd be tempted to tell her boyfriend. I probably wouldn't because I know it'd only invite drama, but boy would I be sorely tempted!