The Other Woman -WWYD?

[speckledfrog]

I can't even begin to imagine how I would react in that situation.

[madringal]

Unless the other woman was my sister or BFF, no I wouldn't. And I am sorry this happened to you.

[iamali]

The raging beast inside me says "FUCK YES I'D CONTACT HER".

But the rational side says, "no, it's more important to take your anger out on your H. He is afterall the one you made vows to".

[acr]

I didn't. There was no reason to. I let my XH know what I knew, and that was all I felt like I needed to do.

[wowhead]

Nope. The other person did not make a vow to me. The responsibility is all on my spouse.

Ex had an affair. I've run into the person he cheated with many times and never said a word.

[holdingthestars]

Jul 24, 2014 14:45:35 GMT -5 iamali said:

The raging beast inside me says "FUCK YES I'D CONTACT HER".

But the rational side says, "no, it's more important to take your anger out on your H. He is afterall the one you made vows to".

This is pretty much where I am.

[berbles]

Only in a select few situations. Specifically, if she was married and/or I knew her SO. Otherwise you're just asking for unnecessary drama.

Always ask yourself, "Who am I doing this for?" (Or, if you're a grammar nerd like me, you'd ask yourself, "For whom am I doing this?")

What are your REAL intentions? To make her feel bad? To make yourself feel better?

[elleblue]

No. It won't make you feel any better or give you any answers as to why he'd cheat on you. Don't put yourself through that. 

[underwaterrhymes]

I cannot imagine how I would react in this situation. I do think that nothing good would come out of a conversation with the other woman. I think it would only prove to be more hurtful to me.

My dad cheated on my mom throughout their marriage and when he broke things off with one of the women, she called my mom. Granted, she was the initiator, but it absolutely devastated my mom. She was broken for a long time.

[RoxMonster]

I don't know. I'm not sure how I would actually react if I was really in that situation.

My first instinct is, no, I would not contact her. But who knows? I think it's one of those situations where you really have to be in it to know what you'd do.

[soleil]

My DH had an affair last winter. I did not contact her, didn't see the point. I didn't care about her at all--it was DH that broke my heart, not her. She didn't put a gun to his head.

[Deleted]

Rationally, I say no. It will not give you the closure you think it would, and the OW isn't the problem, the H is.

[chchchia]

I have been in this situation before and I refused to contact the other woman, b/c this was OUR marriage and she had intruded far enough into already and she was not going to be brought in any further. It was between myself and my husband, fuck her though, I did wish continuous smelly diarrhea on her ass though, she knew he was married.
I don't know if I spelled everything right.

[jax373]

I didn't but she knew I hated her for sticking herself in my marriage.

The other woman sucks but I put most of the blame on the husband. He's the one that would feel my wrath. Now if she turned out the be married also, I would probably tell her husband.

[les]

I did not.

[trixiedicksnatch]

I have no idea.

I would lose my shit on fi for sure and as much as I would like to think I could be mature and composed I can also picture myself confronting her and telling her what a two bit trashy cuntface she is.

Hypotheticals are hard.

[underwaterrhymes]

I'm so sorry for everyone who has gone through this.

[Gato]

No, I definitely wouldn't. I have never seen anything good come from that. I would separate and make H figure it out by a given date (6 months?).

I'm sorry this is happening to you.

[TrickyBob]

I called her up and I texted the other few.

So yes, yes I would.

The first 2 I didn't do it in a "I am accusing you!" type tone because they both told me they had no idea.

The one he admitted to me had an issue that we were living together, I laid into her.

ETA: I did it because I wanted him to see how hurt I was (and wanted details of when/what/where) and that I was going to get to the bottom of it. I didn't care about them. As my MIL put it "you can go searching for answers from the women but it won't make you hurt any less. They are details that don't do anything productive" and she is right. 

[Kore]

No. When something happened many years ago, I did not contact her. I didn't LIKE her, but my issue was with my H.

[ZoeHart]

Probably not. But if it ever happened to me, I can say with 100% certainty that I would probably not be able to think calmly and rationally so who knows?

[juliette21]

Only if the Other Woman was someone close to me, like a sister, friend, cousin, etc. I would feel in that situation like she betrayed me in a way as well, so I would lay into her.

Otherwise, no I wouldn't say a word and if I ever saw the Other Woman or had to interact with her I would keep my head high and be the bigger person. Because she didn't owe me anything, it would be my H's fault completely.

[dexteroni]

Oh gosh, I'm sorry. I don't know what I would do. It would probably depends on a lot of factors, none of which I can really guess at without them happening.

[BaliHai]

I don't know. I'd like to say no for all the sane, rational reasons... but I just really don't know.

[katfco]

For the most part, no, but I wouldn't be afraid of confronting her if there was some reason to.

[cookies]

I'm sorry. I don't know what I'd do. Does she know he's married?

I think it would feel really good at first to confront her, but I think after I'd feel sick that I did. I wouldn't want her to feel like she got to me in any way.

[Muddled]

I hope not.

I'm sorry you are in this situation.

[thelurkylulu]

If she knew he was married, then hell yes I would.

If she didn't know, then idk. I tend to be "nail the mutha fucker's balls to the wall" in these types of situations though, so I more than likely would confront in either circumstance.

[Deleted]

Probably not. I mean, I would sure as hell want to, but I wouldn't. I'd rather take my anger out on him, lol.

[kaybee85]

If I had reason to believe she didn't know he was married, I probably would. Other than that, I probably wouldn't because I wouldn't want to give her the satisfaction of seeing me crazy (which I assume I would be at that point). If it were a friend or someone I trusted, I'd probably have a hard time not saying anything.

While I agree that the person I should be most angry with is my spouse, I don't think that because the OW did not make a commitment to me, she doesn't deserve some scorn (assuming she knew he was married). We live in a society, people. You don't get involved with a person who is already in a (not open) relationship.