I have a sibling and I am happy about it. I was an only for 10 1/2 years and was totally fine, but I am very very happy I have my sister, and that we are very close despite our age difference. I know closeness of siblings can be a total crapshoot - we are lucky in that we are very different in a lot of ways, but have similar values, beliefs and senses of humor that make it easy for is to be really good friends.
SS here too. I love my sister but she is not in my life and that will probably stay that way for a very long time. I love my brother but he lives far away. I worry about him constantly.
I have 3 sisters and love it. We're pretty close, and we've started to do more things just the 4 of us. There's 12 years between the oldest and the youngest so sometimes it's hard to get everyone's schedules lined up. I love having such a big family for holidays and birthdays. I know I'm very lucky that we all get along.
Post by fortnightlily on Jul 28, 2014 15:39:35 GMT -5
I realized I didn't answer my own poll in the comments. Is that a faux pas? My sister and I have gone through phases of getting along or not getting along. We're pretty different people, but I'm happy to have her and sometimes wish we were closer.
I have a younger brother, which most people are surprised to hear because I rarely mention him. We are polar opposites, much like a PP described. He has a chip on his shoulder and thinks the world is against him, including the rest of my family, who've always been supportive. I don't like the way he's handled his family life, particularly his eldest son, as well as how he handled my father's passing, which I'm not as angry about as I used to be as I realize that people grieve differently.
Anyhow, one of my big goals in life is to foster, within reason, a much better sibling relationship with my two girls than I have with my brother.
I don't feel like I can vote: I'm glad I have siblings in the abstract sense, and growing up I was glad, but as grown-ups, the lack of connection has caused more heartache than the lack of siblings would have.
I have a brother and sister and they are seriously my best friends. We are very close.
My husband has a brother six years younger than him and they get along fine but only see each other once a year and make no effort to call or communicate ever. It's weird to me.
I have four older sisters (one's a twin) and love them all. We get along great. Right now I want to punch one BIL for making my sister (his wife) cry. He's such a douche and I don't get him. At all. Anyways, love my sisters. They are awesome.
My SIL (H's sister) is great. It's really too bad she lives in AZ and we're in WA because I feel like we could be good friends if we lived closer.
Also, this did factor into my family planning. I had my first really young and unexpected and had my second 4 years later. I likely would have waited but I wanted to have them similarity aged like my siblings and I. We had so much fun together growing up and are still close, I know it's not a guarantee but I wanted them to have the chance for that relationship.
My nephew is very difficult and my sister would like to be one and done but wants him to have a sibling so badly.
I don't feel like I can vote: I'm glad I have siblings in the abstract sense, and growing up I was glad, but as grown-ups, the lack of connection has caused more heartache than the lack of siblings would have.
This is an interesting answer. I see by your tickers you have two kids. Did your experience with your siblings affect your decision on how many kids to have?
Post by PeonyParty on Jul 28, 2014 15:52:03 GMT -5
Meh, I can go either way. I have 2 older brothers and I am not especially close with them. I guess I am happy I have them, but I could also do without them (and pretty much do, we moved 8 hours away and hardly ever see them).
Post by Norticprincess on Jul 28, 2014 15:53:00 GMT -5
I have siblings and am happy about it.
My brother passed away 5 years. My sister saved my life. We are fairly close despite the age difference as it doesn't matter as much now (5 years is high school / college gap. With her birthday vs mine she was only 4 years behind me in school. She started k at 4.
I don't feel like I can vote: I'm glad I have siblings in the abstract sense, and growing up I was glad, but as grown-ups, the lack of connection has caused more heartache than the lack of siblings would have.
This is an interesting answer. I see by your tickers you have two kids. Did your experience with your siblings affect your decision on how many kids to have?
No, at least, not in part. My brother has both Asp.erger's and Tour.ette's, which make for a difficult combination. He's rejected much of the family because he believes we don't help him enough. I knew that the more kids we had, the greater the risk of having a child with those struggles.
My sister and I are just not terribly close because she's "busy" with her life. It may not be a malicious rejection, but it's still rejection.
The main reasons we didn't have more kids were because Dh didn't want more (and talked me around) and our risks of having another preemie increase as I get older.
Edited because I don't want him stumbling across this post if he googles both together
Post by marylennox on Jul 28, 2014 15:55:14 GMT -5
I have one sibling. We get along fine but have never been close. Due to our age difference there were times I felt like an only growing up. I have always wished that I had more siblings. I'm envious of those with big, tight knit families.
I have a younger brother. We were indifferent to each other as kids. We had a few tough spots but I love him to death. He is an amazing person inside. And only recently have I realized how much he hero-worships me. It's kind of an awesome feeling actually because I thought he didn't care if I lived or died. I have 6 cousins on my mom's side who I consider siblings. We'll probably grow apart but I love being the eldest sister and their spiritual guru, lol. I've always wanted an older sibling though. I was hoping for an older sister in law but that didn't happen :/
TLDR : I love my sibling and cousins and I DGAF that we were poor and our family would have been more comfortable with just one kid. I seriously think the more the better!
I have 2 older brothers, 6 years older and four years older. It was awesome for them growing up b/c they had each other to play with. I was always odd one out. Now that we're adults, the eldest has moved away and I'm pretty indifferent to him. My other brother is cool but we're not close. I would have loved to have had a sister growing up. I frequently begged my parents to adopt a sis for me.
Post by aprilsails on Jul 28, 2014 16:30:23 GMT -5
Based on my own experience with my family your relationship with your siblings can change quite drastically over time.
I love my brother and sister, but there were times during my brother's bad years of addiction when I couldn't stand to be around him and didn't want to deal with it. DH had similar issues with his brother.
My sister is one of my best friend's and we are super close. When she was away for university we rarely talked. I figured she was young and having fun. Now that she's moved back home I am seeing her more than ever.
Post by peachykate on Jul 28, 2014 16:46:59 GMT -5
I have two younger siblings, my sister and I get along well but aren't super close.(I'm 7 years older and she's always been a friends before family person) My brother is so difficult to get along with, neither one of us are close to him and lately I've been wondering if the reason my sister is so distant from the family is bc she was so entrenched in his bullshit for years. I was long gone by the time everything started.
I'm glad I have my siblings but when I think about my brother and my BIL , I think we may be better off with one.
I have a brother and we love spending time together. My husband and him are great friends and I love my brother's wife. All 4 of us hang out pretty regularly.
I have 3 younger brothers and 1 sister. I'm pretty good friends with 2 of them. I wish I lived closer to them. I adore my little sister (She is 29 years younger). I wish she would have been around when I was growing up.