Here's the thing, if YOU want to be able to read music YOU take music lessons. (and who ever said you have to learn an instrument to learn how to read music? That's silly.)
It annoys the crap out of me when children become the vehicle by which parents live out their dreams. Allow your child to be who he is and wants to be. Your job is to help him become the best him not the best mini-wannabe you. Yes, you're the parent and sometimes kids need nudging. But nudge them in what they're already interested in, not what you failed at (or whatever) when you were a child.Â
I don't think this is fair. I am not living vicariously through him. I am setting him up for success later. If he wants to play guitar or drums later, many teachers require 2 years of piano lessons. I am opening up opportunities if he wants to be in a band or get into music later. Just like I am having him try sports to see what he likes. I mean when he had 5 lessons of violin, he could played what the teacher sang by ear. He refuses the practice, so even though he is good at it, we are not continuing. Â I am not a tiger mom making him practice 2 hours a day.
there are literally hundreds if not thousands of opportunities that could be opened up to him. You chose one that YOU wish you had had. This doesn''t seem to be about him.
Forgot to answer, although you have already made a decision, but yes, I would. I put DS in many activities when he was younger and to some extent, I let him choose, but for things I thought were important to have to be well-rounded, yes, I "made" him. I think I have a duty, as the person between us with the most life experience and wisdom, to make certain calls about what will be beneficial to his life. A 6 year old cannot grasp how important an instrument might be on a college application or why it may be necessary to learn a second language. I'm old school, though--I'm not running a democracy. I cared how he felt, what he thought, sure, but I also don't trust a first grader to make the best decisions for his future life.
I so much agree with this! My kids have a choice of violin, piano or cello (only ones offered at their wonderful Suzuki school), and if they want to orchestra or not, but they have to do some instrument. In fact DD2 used to play violin before she decided to switch to cello. It was never a question of quitting completely, it was a question of "Do you want to play violin, cello or piano?".
I don't personally understand the mentality of not pushing kids to do anything, not getting them involved in extracurriculars if they're interested and you can afford it, etc. My kids don't have the option not to be active. They both take a sport or lesson or are involved in an activity every day of the week. They don't seem unhappy or overworked at all.
Ditto. My kids love it too! As long as we can afford it, we will continue doing that.
You can do anything you want (including nothing) You must choose x number of activities You must choose a musical instrument You must play piano b/c of something that happened to me in my childhood
I think the first three are fine. It's funny to me that letting a kid just be a kid is a radical notion these days. like you're raising some ne'er do well if you just let your kid play and do homework after school. It used to be the kid who was fully scheduled was the extreme idea.
But I really do have a problem with the last one. It makes it about the parent and not the child.
I don't personally understand the mentality of not pushing kids to do anything, not getting them involved in extracurriculars if they're interested and you can afford it, etc. My kids don't have the option not to be active. They both take a sport or lesson or are involved in an activity every day of the week. They don't seem unhappy or overworked at all.
who said you shouldn't let your kid do something if he wants to? We're talking about making a child do something b/c it's something you wish you had done.
See? I just CANNOT get on board with the idea that if your first grader is not scheduled all the time that he is going to fail at life. No. I fully reject that idea and think it's horrible for child development.
Childhood is a time to play and have fun learning. Things that are supposed to be fun shouldn't be force fed.
Sure beef up the resume in high school but the idea that this should start in k? No. I fully and completely reject that as developmentally inappropriate and potentially detrimental.
You can do anything you want (including nothing) You must choose x number of activities You must choose a musical instrument You must play piano b/c of something that happened to me in my childhood
I think the first three are fine. It's funny to me that letting a kid just be a kid is a radical notion these days. like you're raising some ne'er do well if you just let your kid play and do homework after school. It used to be the kid who was fully scheduled was the extreme idea.
But I really do have a problem with the last one. It makes it about the parent and not the child.
But my son did chose to take piano. And he chose to switch to violin. Then he chose to switch back to piano. And if he wants to quit after a few more lessons, fine. Then he can chose another instrument in 5th grade. I think it is bad discipline to go back on my word, honestly. He needs to learn to finish things. Plus, learning an instrument at an early age helps with brain development, especially spatial learning. I never had him in any activities until age 5, except swim lessons. He is wanting to try sports and we only do one at a time. We did not try spring soccer because it overlapped with basketball and baseball. The kids in our area are way more scheduled than him, and already playing on competitive teams. I don't even want him to do basketball this year. He is very smart and likes to stay busy.
sorry. This was really tangential to your op. I was just responding to song's last paragraph.
Post by Ashley&Scott on Aug 2, 2014 22:36:15 GMT -5
I wouldn't push him to do an extra curricular activity he's not enjoying/interested in. It sounds like he's involved in plenty of other things who his great.
Post by writingwithheld on Aug 3, 2014 8:23:56 GMT -5
I think that you made the best choice. I don't read the OP as wanting to live through her child- it says that he previously enjoyed lessons and was allowed to switch instruments when he asked to. One month is a great compromise. It's long enough to get back in the swing of things to see if he really does still like it, but probably short enough that it won't turn him off to the idea of music forever.
As long as it isn't becoming tiger-mom-ish (which I don't think it is) then it is fine. Just be careful, especially at this stage, to make sure you are suggesting practicing as a fun activity and not forcing him to practice for x minutes y times a week. I think the best thing to do at 6 is keep it fun.