I have to tell her, right?

[verycontrary247]

My oldest sisters exboyfriend sent me a message on Facebook asking for some advice on how he should proceed. I really like him, the whole family does, sister has man issues but he was always really good to her. They dated for almost 3 years, then apparently he was having some money issues and kind of started avoiding the world, which led to them breaking up a couple months ago.

I want to help him, but I also feel like I should tell her. Another part of me doesn't want to because I don't think it was meant to be high-handed but she would probably take it that way and I don't want to make things worse.

Ugh.

[ECB]

Asking for advice on how to proceed with... what?

[RoxMonster]

Is he wanting to get back together with her?

[verycontrary247]

Aug 1, 2014 9:00:02 GMT -5 RoxMonster said:

Is he wanting to get back together with her?

Yes. And in the meantime she's started dating an unemployed borderline sketchy abusive guy that lives with some of his friends.

[wambam]

This seems like something you don't want to get involved with.

[Marle]

Dear sister's ex boyfriend, of course I'll help you:

Step 1: leave me out of it.

[firelight1210]

Is she happy with the guy she's with right now? Does she talk about her ex? If she does, I would say that he messaged you that he was thinking about her and he seems to be doing better (is he?). Maybe that would plant a seed and get them talking?

ETA: Or just stay out of it and let the chips fall where they may.

[calledout]

You could just say "exBF sent me a message on FB yesterday asking for advice about you. Seems like he really likes you. Does he deserve another chance?"

[RoxMonster]

I would probably not get involved here. Is he wanting you to help him win her back without telling her that it's happening?

I would probably stay out of it completely. I don't think I'd even message him back.

[ECB]

Ah, o.k. Yes- I'd tell her. People gave you good ideas of what to say. As for him, as you really do like him, I'd be honest with him - this is putting you in an awkward position, but (If this is actually true) that you support any efforts he makes with your sister. You just don't feel comfortable giving him advice w/o telling her what's going on.

[hisno1girl]

The most I would do is relay ONE message from him to her and then stay out of it.

I certainly wouldn't give him advice and I'm sure your sister has already heard all sorts of advice from people about her man issues.

[Booze Raccoon]

MYOB

Tell him no.

[bc1206]

I wouldn't get involved. If you sister finds out it will look like you are siding with him and not her. Respect her decision and move on.

[verycontrary247]

Aug 1, 2014 9:06:48 GMT -5 RoxMonster said:

I would probably not get involved here. Is he wanting you to help him win her back without telling her that it's happening?

He doesn't necessarily want help winning her back. She's super confusing. Hell, she confuses me too. I think he just wants advice on how to proceed- to which I'd respond to wait it out.

[BaliHai]

I wouldn't get involved.

[katfco]

Nope. I'd wish him luck and stay out of it. If he wants to get back together with her, he needs to figure out how to proceed next.

[sandytoes]

I wouldn't help him but I would tell my sister that he messaged me.

[flamingeaux]

If it wasn't a messy, hateful breakup, I would probably tell my sister "BTW, your exbf caught up with me on fb the other day. He said he was thinking about you earlier, and then he saw me on, and we chatted for a bit."

[sunshineluv]

I would tell my sis.

I would also be super pissed if an exbf contacted my sis and she didn't tell me about it.

[Mrs.Rad888]

I can't help thinking that, after being with her for 3+ years, he probably knows better than anyone else how he should proceed. Sounds like he's just looking for an "in" even though she told him to take a hike.

[verycontrary247]

Aug 1, 2014 10:39:37 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

He needs to get a job/second job, get out of his financial difficulties, straighten up his own issues. Maybe he can find someone less confusing, lol, at that point.

He did, which is why now he's crawled out of obscurity.

Also, no clue why my sister gravitates towards losers. My dad is a successful doctor lol.