Timid request for guidance

[Marle]

Hi ladies, I don't usually post here as I am a little intimidated by your great skillz and DH is the CFO in our house.

We are considering a big move from a lower COL area to a higher COL area: Florida to SOCal. I do not have a job offer yet but we'd like to be able to decide quickly depending on the offer. Yesterday I gave them an approximate goal number which is a bit more than 50% what I currently make but they are obviously not saying yes right away and likely won't meet exactly that with just base salary but have other benefits we are willing to consider.

DH's department is also about to fizzle in the air and he has a few options including possibility of severance but basically my employment is driving the ship. We own a house here

DH has been doing some research but I feel like he is biased because he is the kind of guy that needs a screw that holds 10 tons to hold a 1oz. picture.

What is the most reliable website to make a comparison or get data on the usual expenses we need to have in mind?

Had anyone done this or something similar? Can you share your experience?

Anyone want to give me the good bad and ugly of a big move like this or about the San Diego area?

If it were up to me I'd eat ramen noodles everyday to move out of my current job but I have to think of my DH and 5y/o.

TIA!

[imojoebunny]

DH had a job offer in Orange County a couple of years ago. We looked at what we would have to pay to get a house we could live in in a school district we would want (not an equivalent house, just one we could live in), and then calculated the other large additional cost (state & local tax are higher in CA than Atlanta, so that was a big one). In the end, we decided it was not worth it.

[FishChicks]

First off, congratulations for making it so far in the job hunt. I was in that spot last year, and it was exciting, scary, and soul-crushing, all at the same time!

I moved from FL to Orange County after grad school, and moved from Los Angeles to MN last October. I found that this calculator was fairly accurate for the recent move: www.bankrate.com/calculators/savings/moving-cost-of-living-calculator.aspx

If you can, make sure the company pays for a full service move for you. That cost can run upwards of 40k for a move of that distance. You may also be able to negotiate a signing bonus to cover costs of selling your home and other expenses. Remember that there will be more "start up" costs than you'd expect (utility deposits and fees, rental costs, etc). It's pricey, and at first I thought I'd made a terrible financial mistake, but with the new salary, it's worked out very well.

When you're making your decision, look at cost of living, but also think through how you and your family view change. I am so happy to be somewhere completely new. I see it as a chance to learn and explore. I hadn't realized how important that change was going to be for me. DH, on the other hand, has had a much tougher time. How will you, your DH and your child react to someplace completely new?

I also found it important to think about how I'd feel if I didn't take the offer and make the move. I would have been somewhat resentful. This move has been great for my career and should pay off financially for the family in the medium and long term. It's a huge change, and the calculator above, along with tools like Redfin, can help you figure out the financial implications. Oddly in my case, the interpersonal ones turned out to be even more important. Good luck!

Edit: to correct calculator

[msmerymac]

I used to live in Los Angeles and one reason I moved away was COL. However, the weather really IS beautiful all the time in SoCal and there's lots to do. We paid about $5k to move across the country last year, and that was packing and moving ourselves. We also moved 1 car and 2 cats. No kids and we didn't own a house. It can be tough. Downsize as much as possible and then determine when you get there what you need to buy!

You'll also probably end up in an apartment or smaller house for a while until you get a handle on what you'll need to spend to buy property. In our area it would have been $400-$500k, minimum, probably on a house that was dated and needed some work. After the housing crash. Actually, I'm joking, in our neighborhood it would have been $650k-$800k, minimum, for a 2-3 bedroom single family house. In the areas in metro LA in general we would have considered (maybe) it would be closer to $500k, but less of an ideal location, for us. Schools are also a big deal, which you'll probably have to figure out when you get to SD.

[crashgizmo]

I'll jump in as someone who just moved to the SD area from mega LCOL. (New Mexico)

We love it and wouldn't change it for the world. We live an hour north of San Diego but are looking to move down in the next year. I wouldn't recommend living where we live unless you can WFH. Traffic and commute time is definitely a consideration, but you also get what you pay for. We are looking in the North SD area- Rancho Bernardo, Poway, maybe even Escondido. We are DINKS though and both make good salaries, and we have no debt. So we don't really feel the crunch and manage to still blow our budget on entertainment every month while still saving quite a bit.

I would also say that San Diego is more affordable than other parts of SoCal in my opinion. Orange County (where I grew up) so pretty pricey, so is the coastal side of Los Angeles (where I would love to live.)

If you have specific questions let me know! We learned a lot when we moved out here.

[Deleted]

Where are you moving to? Why do you want to move? How far will you commute? Private school or public? Pets? How much money will you make? With a kid I would plan very thoroughly.

[crashgizmo]

Aug 1, 2014 15:07:38 GMT -5 @juno said:

We moved from Atlanta to the SF bay area, so it was a COL adjustment. But we also got our first adult jobs at the time we made the move, so the adjustment there was just part of a much larger adjustment into adulthood, so it's hard for me to separate that part out. We make significantly more than my sister and her DH (I think, we haven't really discussed it, but I can guess), but they have what most people would call a much higher standard of living. Part of that is probably spending/saving priorities but some of it is COL. They have more vehicles, MUCH larger house, own a rental property, etc. But the biggest reason I'm glad that the move came with more than just a COL adjustment in our would-be salaries (i.e. DH makes more out here than he could make in Atlanta, even after COL adjustments) is that we were moving away from all our supports. If my sister needs help with her house, needs a dog sitter, needs to borrow a vehicle, etc., she has 50 family members a few minutes away. We have no one and have to replace that support system with hired help, if we need it. Be sure to take that cost into account as well, if it applies.

This is an EXCELLENT point. When we had been here about a month, there was a time at the grocery store when I thought I had locked my keys in the car, and I realized I had no one to call.  

Finding a petsitter we had to pay instead of my MIL who would just come stay at our house made some major adjustments to our travel budgeting. Same thing with house projects- where DH would get his friend or BIL to help him with something, now we have to pay someone. 

[crashgizmo]

Aug 1, 2014 15:14:51 GMT -5 @juno said:

Aug 1, 2014 15:12:26 GMT -5 crashgizmo said:

This is an EXCELLENT point. When we had been here about a month, there was a time at the grocery store when I thought I had locked my keys in the car, and I realized I had no one to call.  

Finding a petsitter we had to pay instead of my MIL who would just come stay at our house made some major adjustments to our travel budgeting. Same thing with house projects- where DH would get his friend or BIL to help him with something, now we have to pay someone. 

Of course the flip side is that no one's calling me to come clean out their gutters LOL.  And I only have to see bat-shit-crazy great-uncle Don once a year.

And my MIL doesn't just "happen to be in the neighborhood" while I'm watching Real Housewives with no bra on and have NO desire to serve her coffee. 

[alleinesein]

I grew up in San Diego and I still live here. I have lived in 3 different parts of the county and have been through 4 of the school districts.

The biggest questions are-
1. What would you be making if you got the job out here? Contrary to popular belief you can life in SoCal on less than 100K a year.
2. What does your DH do? The job market in San Diego sucks balls right now and unless he is in an industry that is prevalent out here he might have a hard time finding a job.

I'll post more later since I am headed out the door right now.

[Marle]

Where are you moving to? The company is around la Jolla area

Why do you want to move? I'm sick of my job. I've been there for too long. Don't have growth options anymore and there's very little in my field where I live.

How far will you commute? I have not gone that far yet.

Private school or public? Public. I'm thinking they're better than here anyway?

Pets? Nope

How much money will you make? That's kind of the point I am trying to put a "I won't move for less than" limit to my conversations. I'm thinking no less than 115...?

My DH is a project manager in a media/ advertisement company. He has quality and training experience. I think his experience can be more widely applied than mine. He applied for a job at the company he's at now where he can work remotely. The other option is the severance package but we don't know about that yet.

[Marle]

And I'm not necessarily interested in buying property. At least not for a while.

[Marle]

We do have family here but it's more of a nice to see them kind of thing. They're kind of useless otherwise. Of course I'm talking about ILs :/

[ellipses84]

Totally agree with alleinesein. We've done the out of state move into SD and we are now moving out of state, primarily because the job market in SD sucks and the COL is high. We've been lucky to have good jobs most of the time we've lived here, but the opportunity for DH's career to advance as fast as he wants it hasn't been available.

For us the magic number was a minimum of $100k/yr for a family of 4 in a more affordable part of North County. However, we bought our house when prices were low, home values have skyrocketed since then and would be a lot more in a neighborhood we love with a great school district. Less than a $100k/yr just wasn't happening with all of our expenses, including a big chunk of student loan payments every month.

La Jolla is one of the more expensive areas. Traffic is terrible in certain areas, so it's best to choose housing based on where you are both working. So many people want to live here that there are more people looking for jobs than there are jobs, employers can be picky and pay employees less than market rate. I've known a lot of out of state people who lived here for a few years and moved away again.

That being said, we love SD and I am so sad to be leaving. It is a great place to raise kids, there's tons of free/cheap things to do and the weather is wonderful year round. I do think it's cheaper than a lot of other places in SoCal.

[alleinesein]

Aug 1, 2014 20:24:51 GMT -5 Marle said:

Where are you moving to? The company is around la Jolla area

Why do you want to move? I'm sick of my job. I've been there for too long. Don't have growth options anymore and there's very little in my field where I live.

How far will you commute? I have not gone that far yet.

Private school or public? Public. I'm thinking they're better than here anyway?

Pets? Nope

How much money will you make? That's kind of the point I am trying to put a "I won't move for less than" limit to my conversations. I'm thinking no less than 115...?

My DH is a project manager in a media/ advertisement company. He has quality and training experience. I think his experience can be more widely applied than mine. He applied for a job at the company he's at now where he can work remotely. The other option is the severance package but we don't know about that yet.

If the company is Qualcomm I can tell you that your commute every day will SUCK BALLS!  Almost all of their employees are on the same 9-6 schedule and it can take 45 minutes just to get onto the 5 or the 805 when everyone gets off work at 6pm.

La Jolla will be expensive--what little 'affordable' housing that exists in the area gets snapped up by students at UCSD.  If you are willing to commute at least 30-45 minutes you can find affordable housing in North County (Rancho Penasquitos, some parts of Poway, older parts of Rancho Bernardo, Escondido, San Marcos, Vista, some part of Oceanside).

As for school districts they all have good and bad schools.  SD Unified gets a ton of crap on here but they do have a very good Magnet Program and if you can get your child into one of them they will get an awesome education. www.sandi.net/site/Default.aspx?PageID=1475  Poway Unified is overrated and has a good PR department; they lack the resources to deal with some learning disabilities and they tend to funnel those kids into the Escondido schools so that they don't mess up their test scores.  San Marcos unified is pretty good but it also gets dumped on because its San Marcos; its not a bad town but it lacks any real zoning laws so you have houses next to gas stations and they have like every single fast food chain known to man!  It does have 2 college campuses (Palomar College and Cal State San Marcos)

Things are more expensive out here.  Gas just dropped to under $4 a gallon this past week but its still anywhere from $3.65-$3.95 a gallon.  Housing prices are ridiculous but thats the price for living in paradise.  Weather---not even an issue.  It might rain 10 days total during the year but be warned...you cannot drive in California rain like you do in FL rain.  Our roads turn into a giant oil slick and there is a reason why the locals drive slow; hit the gas too hard and you will lose control and spin out.  10-11 months of oil accumulation does not make for safe driving when it rains.

If there is anything else you want to know--ask away or send a PM. 

[puppyluv]

We just moved to San Diego from IL. We work in la Jolla and live about 10 miles south of there. The COL has been a little shocking. I am spending about 50% more on housing, gas, and groceries.

There isnt much in the way of public transportation up near La Jolla so that part kind of sucks. The traffic isnt too bad though. It moves slowly but its not gridlocked too often. It is an average of a 30 min commute for us.

Other than those issues we LOVE living here. the weather is perfect. There is so much to do and tons of good places to eat. We live near the trolley line so we can get downtown easily for things.

Our HHI is now around $130k which has been comfortable for us here and it includes carrying the house back in IL until it sells. Without the house the 2 of us could still live easily on $100k.

[Marle]

This is all great info ladies thank you! I may PM a couple of you for more.