Checking in - how was everyone's weekend?

[Deleted]

My weekend was kind of tough. I lost a friend in the program, so attended his funeral.  He was a presence.  He had several decades of sobriety and his loss is huge.  

Then I started looking for my wedding ring that I haven't worn in a few weeks (before and during vacation I didn't wear my ring) and now I can't find it.  I feel like such a dumbass for losing it!  Searched the usual three places where I might have put it.  Nothing!  My anxiety went through the roof.  Not Catholic, but at the suggestion of my friend, I started praying the novena to St Anthony, the patron saint of lost items.  

I'm just sick. I feel like it was so irresponsible of me.  My DH sweetly reassures me that ring or no ring, we are still married. 

Hope everyone else had a pleasant weekend!

[SwimDeep]

Aw, that's a tough weekend @courtneyloves - I'm sorry about the loss of your friend. I'm sure he left a legacy that will continue to be felt by everyone who knew him.
I feel a lot of anxiety around my wedding and engagement rings too. I haven't been able to wear them 24/7 since I gained weight, so I have developed a habit of checking multiple times a day to make sure they're where I left them. I hope you find it soon! Can you backtrack from the last place you remember wearing it?

My weekend was alright...I managed to get some extra sleep, but I still feel exhausted. I'm struggling to understand codependency and untangle myself from a lot of chaotic emotion. It would be so nice if I could just go away for a week. It's hard to pay attention to what I need when I'm surrounded by the needs of everyone else. That sounds so selfish, I know. Maybe that's why I've been so emotional lately - Trying to focus on myself makes me feel selfish which makes me feel guilty...GAH!
I have a therapy appointment tomorrow, which is a very good thing.

[SwimDeep]

Is it wrong that I kind of admire my H for his ability to think of himself first? He doesn't always put himself first - he does plenty for other people, and he's always willing to help out family...but ultimately, he is the center of his universe. Why can't I be a little more like that (without feeling bad about it)?

ETA: I know the tone of this might be confusing, but I'm not being sarcastic here...just trying to wake up and musing on some random thoughts.

[Deleted]

Aug 4, 2014 8:27:44 GMT -5 SwimDeep said:

Is it wrong that I kind of admire my H for his ability to think of himself first? He doesn't always put himself first - he does plenty for other people, and he's always willing to help out family...but ultimately, he is the center of his universe. Why can't I be a little more like that (without feeling bad about it)?

ETA: I know the tone of this might be confusing, but I'm not being sarcastic here...just trying to wake up and musing on some random thoughts.

I understand that perfectly!  My belief is that as women we are programmed/trained to serve others and put ourselves second.  Maybe that sounds sexist.  But I am learning to speak my own truth and be honest with others.  As an alcoholic, I was always selfish about my drinking and conduct and that is something I need to keep in check.  However, there is a balance between being unselfish, serving others, etc and being a total doormat!  LOL.  I may not be using the right words, but I understand exactly what you are saying SwimDeep!  

[flex]

I had a pretty mellow weekend. It was a relief because the previous week was pretty stressful work-wise. Typically I don't look forward to the weekend with such relish. lol

My son and my granddaughter moved back from Oklahoma Saturday night after being gone for 7-1/2 months so it was so wonderful to have them back. They'll be living with me until February at the very latest until DS1 can get his ducks in a row. GD will be attending 2nd grade at the school which is not far away from my house. This makes me happy.

I watched "Heaven is Real" last night and it stirred up some emotions about my late husband and my concerns about my mom. I realized I need to draw closer to my Higher Power--to lean even more on Him, so I plan to work on that.

@courtneyloves: I'm so sorry about the loss of the member of your fellowship. When "oldtimers" leave us, it does leave a hole, but there is comfort knowing he died sober.

[SwimDeep]

Aug 4, 2014 8:34:51 GMT -5 @courtneyloves said:

I understand that perfectly!  My belief is that as women we are programmed/trained to serve others and put ourselves second.  Maybe that sounds sexist.  But I am learning to speak my own truth and be honest with others.  As an alcoholic, I was always selfish about my drinking and conduct and that is something I need to keep in check.  However, there is a balance between being unselfish, serving others, etc and being a total doormat!  LOL.  I may not be using the right words, but I understand exactly what you are saying SwimDeep!  

This makes a lot of sense...and the way I was raised definitely plays into the complex I give myself when I try to put my own wants and needs first. I grew up in a very sexist, paternalistic environment. It sucks right now because I'm trying to learn how to not be a doormat, but the only time I feel at peace (that is, not guilty, anxious, jittery, etc) is when I'm actively being a doormat.
Growing pains! lol

flex - I'm glad you had a good weekend. I feel like you were due for a break

[malibu]

SwimDeep, that makes total sense. And since one of the big rules in Al Anon type programs is to take care of yourself first, it is a good thing.

@courtneyloves that sucks on the loss of your friend. Like flex said, it's wonderful knowing that even though he's gone, he was sober. And I'm sure you'll find your rings.

flex Great news about your son and GD moving back, will probably be nice to have them around!

Weekend at the Malibu house wasn't too bad. H actually did things, including cleaning out (and scrubbing) the fridge and freezer. I came down with a chest cold - you'd never know I don't feel well until I cough. Blech. Summer colds are the worst!

[flex]

So I'll bet you have that "ka-hork!" type of cough that scares everyone half to death. lol Yes, summer colds suck donkey balls.

[btay]

My weekend was good. I went to a wedding on Saturday for a coworker and then spent Sunday with H doing my laundry and just sort of lounging around the house.

[malibu]

Aug 4, 2014 13:14:23 GMT -5 flex said:

So I'll bet you have that "ka-hork!" type of cough that scares everyone half to death. lol Yes, summer colds suck donkey balls.

It's the kind that once I get going, I can't stop. It's completely settled in my chest, so I foresee a visit to the doctor in my future for bronchitis. I seem to be incredibly susceptible to it. Blech.