So I've been off of the antidepressant for about 3 weeks now and have had a lot of negative stuff going on with my ex and our custody situation, etc. I have been feeling myself falling back into the hole of depression...not wanting to get out of bed, negative thoughts, giving up control, thoughts of self injury. Then I went on this amazing vacation and spent a lot of time focusing on myself. I gained control again, learned to trust in people again, became engaged and an active participant in life, made healthy decisions, let go of fear, felt confident and beautiful, not once thinking about self injury.
I had a therapy session this morning and we talked about ways to keep this momentum going. Ways to keep being engaged and ways to make each day purposeful. I am nervous about this feeling fading and the old thoughts coming back again. I've been on so many different medications and none have really seemed to help. I guess I just don't really trust that a pill can make me feel better when therapy seems to be the most beneficial. All this to say if it really a combination of medication and therapy that helps or can therapy alone be enough?
My belief is that depression is a biological disease and requires a medication. Some people find that therapy is a great aid, but ultimately I feel like medication is required to keep the brain's chemicals in check. I am not a doctor or anything even close to it so this is just my theory based on my experience.
I can really only talk for myself, but I feel like medication is an important part of treating my depression. I know that some people say a health diet and exercise regimen will 'cure' depression, but that has never helped me. The best results, for me, have come from combining medication with talk/CBT therapy. I do think therapy (with a good therapist) is always helpful, whether it's used in conjunction with medication or not.
Even with the Lexapro/Buspirone that I'm taking, I still have days where I feel down. I'm learning to catch myself and step back from the negative thoughts/feelings long enough to recognize that I'm feeling low and try to decipher the possible reasons. Have I eaten? Do I need to sleep more/less? Is there something specific stressing me out? (If so, do I have any control over it or not?) Lately, I've been so stressed out that I've taken to reciting "I am allowed to rest" every night in my head when I go to bed.
I'm so glad you enjoyed your trip to Antigua! You have those memories now, so anytime you feel yourself sinking you can picture Antigua (focus on all five senses!) and give yourself a little break. Life won't be this stressful forever, but sometimes you have to create your own little moments of peace.
If your depression is left untreated (without medication) chances are you would become depressed even if you lived in Antigua forever. Coping skills can be taught but if you have neurological issues that require medication, "wishing it" away won't work for long.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
I would have to agree with btay. There's actual chemical imbalance that's happening and messing with brain chemistry. I would liken ADs to someone with diabetes needing insulin.
I'd imagine you can talk about things all you want, but if your brain chemistry remains out of whack, I don't know how much good it would do.
It took me several tries and dosage adjustments to finally find something that worked. I've done Lexapro, Prozac, Celexa, and finally landed on Cymbalta, which both my parents take. It took about two weeks of feeling kind of icky and then one morning I woke up and thought "I feel GOOD." For the first time in a very long time, I felt okay, and I could make it through a day without wanting to have a panic attack or feeling deep in a hole of depression. I think it takes the right drug (Cymbalta, for example, is a different class of ADs than Prozac/Lexapro, and this particular class works for me) and the right dose for someone to really feel well again.
Did a psychiatrist prescribe the ADs you've tried or your PCP? I ask because my PCP didn't know that Cymbalta could be given in the dose I'm on now, and the higher dose definitely makes a difference. If you've tried several ADs in the past, could it be you never reached a dose high enough because a PCP prescribed it rather than a psychiatrist?
ETA: Could you spend time scrapbooking your trip? Get yourself in that happy place? Take a long time, take time to work hard on each page and get yourself back to when those pictures were taken?
Andplusalso: About 3 years ago, even though I was on good AD medication, I still felt like I was dying inside. I went to a therapist and she encouraged me to up my Vitamin D intake AND to buy a SADD light (this was in January). I tried both of her suggestions and WOW! What a difference that made in the quality of my life.
mel it could be all the sunshine helped with your mood, but it won't last long once you're back to your house and have to deal with life's issues. BTW, how much Vitamin D do you take?
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
flex you may be onto something with the Vitamin D thing. I don't take any and spend a lot of time indoors (I sleep during the day and work nights). All of the sunshine could really have been beneficial in making me feel better.
I have an appointment next week with the psychiatrist and will talk to her about the medications. Perhaps we can come up with a combination that will work but not make me feel so drowsy all the time. I get the chemical imbalance thing. I just am tired of having medications switched around all the time and get discouraged when they don't seem to work.
My belief is that depression is a biological disease and requires a medication. Some people find that therapy is a great aid, but ultimately I feel like medication is required to keep the brain's chemicals in check.