Big hugs awick14. We also abstained from intercourse during first tri (not oral, we've been doing fine with that). PGAL and IVF-here. Even though no doctor told us to, we were both uncomfortable with it. I will say when we started sex again, it was painful for me - I've always been tight, but it was not usual. So I don't think we'll be doing much actual sex during pregnancy anyway.
I hope you get good news from the doctor. In the meantime - do not feel bad about abstaining at all - the most important thing right now is to have a healthy baby, and I'm sure deep down your DH knows that. I totally get that it's tough to let go of sex, b/c it really is a bonding experience. But you can find other ways to bond with him right now.
We did not have sex for the first 12 weeks. DH was very worried something would happen to the baby due to so many losses in the past. Then after the 12 weeks it has been a dry summer. DH is just so worried he will cause something to happen even though the doctor told him to stop stressing.
@azurly- it was about 40 hours between sex and my spotting yesterday, I spotted for 3-4 hours the day after sex too do I thought it would be done but it wasn't.
luv2rn4fun- my appointment is at noon PST. (3 hours from now)
The spotting has seemed to stop. Hopefully it won't come back. I'll let you all know how my appointment goes after.
The appointment went well. My doctor said that if I am spotting after sex that's ok. She didn't out me in pelvic rest, she just said that if I get anxious/nervous from the spotting to hold off sex for now.
She tried the Doppler to hear the heart beat but said that it's 50/50 if she could hear anything so if she didn't find it don't worry.
She didn't find it but only tried for 2-3 mins. I feel ok with this. We will hear it at next appointment in 4 weeks. I also have 2 ultrasounds between now and then scheduled so that puts me at ease a little.
estrellita- I was actually surprised that I am ok with it. I was going to ask her not to try the Doppler just in case but when she brought it out she explained the chances of hearing ment nothing in regards to the pregnancy but it is when she starts them anyways. I was also measuring 5 days behind on the last ultrasound so that could be another reason she couldn't hear it. (She said before 10w the chance of hearing it are very rare.) from my O date I am 10w1d. So very close.
I had a lot of spotting after sex for a while and it drove me crazy! We had sex maybe once a week and tried all sorts of different things to see if anything would help it. It turns out that a lot of lube helped my spotting. Maybe try something like that when you are ready to have sex again? As a note, I will add that my spotting after sex has seemed to stop entirely! Even without the lube it's better and has been for three or four weeks, I think.