If your husband never wants to leave, help me.

[Deleted]

I have friends that are like this. The husband is always itching to leave. For a while I took it personally, but then I realized he generally has awesome timing. Like, our kids are starting to argue, or it's nap time or conversation is lulling. So now, when her H says "time to go" we just give them hugs and they peace out.

But, if I were in your position I would be SUPER annoyed. I think you should just say you're leaving.

[cville]

My husband and I are the reverse.

We take separate cars. For real. Solved 50% of our marital issues.

[styme46]

My h is the exact same way! His friends are all still in the party stage, despite all being married and having kids.

We are actually having this same conversation about a party we are invited to tomorrow at one of his friend's houses. He's more than likely just going to haul our camper out there (the friend lives on 40 acres). That way if he isn't ready to go home when we are, then he can just stay and get drunk with the rest of those fools and stay in the camper and I can take the kids home when I'm ready to leave. I don't handle hanging with a bunch of irresponsible drunk people well so I probably won't want to stay nearly as long as he will.

I've gone so far as to load the kids in the car and start it to get him to leave places before though.

[So_Fetch]

Can you say something like I can't stay that long, but you can stay and I'll come back and pick you up? Then he can drink and have a DD? Win win?

[cinderbella]

Aug 22, 2014 14:12:55 GMT -5 cville said:

My husband and I are the reverse.

We take separate cars. For real. Solved 50% of our marital issues.

We also do this. It always works out really well.

[ciao]

I hear you on this, except I am your husband in the scenario. We will drive separately or see if coworker x can give someone a ride home. Mostly we just agree in advance that we will leave by a certain time and try to stick to it.

[cville]

Aug 22, 2014 14:14:47 GMT -5 So_Fetch said:

Can you say something like I can't stay that long, but you can stay and I'll come back and pick you up? Then he can drink and have a DD? Win win?

As the husband person in this scenario, I'd love it if I always had a DD.  WOOHOO.  But I'd never ask my husband to do it, because I can tell it would be SO FUCKING ANNOYING to leave and then have to come back to collect drunk me.

[So_Fetch]

Aug 22, 2014 14:16:27 GMT -5 cville said:

Aug 22, 2014 14:14:47 GMT -5 So_Fetch said:

Can you say something like I can't stay that long, but you can stay and I'll come back and pick you up? Then he can drink and have a DD? Win win?

As the husband person in this scenario, I'd love it if I always had a DD.  WOOHOO.  But I'd never ask my husband to do it, because I can tell it would be SO FUCKING ANNOYING to leave and then have to come back to collect drunk me.

lol I'm the wife person and I'd rather pick him up than stay. haha. No guilt for drunks!

[jennysmitten]

Aug 22, 2014 14:12:55 GMT -5 cville said:

My husband and I are the reverse.

We take separate cars. For real. Solved 50% of our marital issues.

We do this, or if one of us wants to leave and the other is drinking, the one who left early picks the other one up later. (We don't live within cab service.)

[cville]

Aug 22, 2014 14:16:34 GMT -5 @letshike said:

My husband is like this so we have to talk about what time we are leaving before we go. It's easier now that we have a kid because he has a bedtime or nap time but before that, it would drive me fucking crazy.

Oh, if I know its an event he is really looking forward to and can get a ride home (we live in a small town), I just leave when I'm ready and he comes home later. That really works for us.

You mean you don't just say "Hey, honey, let's hike"?

[captainobvious]

H is always telling me "none if my friends think you're having any fun" because I watch the TV when we're at a coworkers house to WATCH THE UFC fight. I started either telling him to go alone or going earlier than the main fight card so I can pretend like I care what the ditzy jugaloo girlfriend has to say (only like 30 min though) and then watching/talking about the fights with the two guys that care.

I like the separate cars idea.

[eddy]

I would just have him catch a ride with a buddy.

[wino]

Depending on the situation and who is involved, H and I go through this. Sometimes I want to leave, sometimes he does. We make sure that if we attend an event that one of us isn't as excited about we set either a time limit or a specific time we will leave. We give each other a 30 minute courtesy after the set time before we start pushing to leave. It works pretty well and it avoids a lot of tension. When the time comes for us to leave we just make an exit and that's the end of it.

[macmars45]

H and I agree beforehand about when we want to leave. If one of us wants to stay longer we compromise on staying a little longer or the one who wants to stay later concedes and goes home. It depends on how late it is and how tired the one wanting to go home is. (Usually the one wanting to go home early is me because I get tired; I'm not a night person at all.)

[thedutchgirl]

Aug 22, 2014 14:12:55 GMT -5 cville said:

My husband and I are the reverse.

We take separate cars. For real. Solved 50% of our marital issues.

Same! Or many of our friends live pretty close and he will just come back later to pick me up.

[mookie]

Yup. Separate cars.

[missanne]

This was my H & I every freakin weekend. We start the night at 9 & I'm ready to go at 1, and he'd just be getting started. I used to just leave him, he'd either get a can or hitch a ride home. Recently, I will give him a heads up that I'm feeling ready to go. "Hey, I've got about 30-45 min. left in me, so 2 more beers & then were out". God, it's sounds so patronizing, but it actually works. Plus, I'll offer to stop on the way home for another 6 pack or something, so he can continue to drink at home.

[kirra]

We drive separately. One of us usually wants to leave early.

[bittybomb]

We are the opposite.

I usually try to pretend like I am not getting his hints.  Lol.

My poor husband

[Bree Van de Kamp]

I won't lie, I've thought of encouraging a temper tantrum before. No one protests when there's a screaming toddler ruining the peace.

[rex]

we have an agreed upon time that we will leave before we even arrive. we also have a standing agreement that my h can drive separately and stay as long as he wants.

i am super introverted and cannot handle more than a few hours at a party.

[elleblue]

Aug 22, 2014 14:12:55 GMT -5 cville said:

My husband and I are the reverse.

We take separate cars. For real. Solved 50% of our marital issues.

I was going to suggest this. :Y:

[MixedBerryJam]

Aug 22, 2014 14:12:55 GMT -5 cville said:

My husband and I are the reverse.

We take separate cars. For real. Solved 50% of our marital issues.

We did this all the damn time. His friends were all physics geeks; mine were all sahms and we hated going to each other's things. So 50% of the time we'd go to our things solo and when we did do one together, 50% of those times (at least) we took separate cars, but would meet up before heading in so that one of us didn't have to head into foreign territory alone.

[trixiedicksnatch]

We are both drunkards who will hang til the last min. But we're more likely to just up and leave your party/gtg/BBQ. To go to a bar.


We're like hey were gonna go get wasted well be at the titty bar if you wanna meet up later.

[adhdfashion]

Grab his ass and ask if he is ready to go. It works.

[Dumbledork]

We drive separately.

We've had people question us, talking about how we must be on the rocks or some nonsense, but we always just shrug it off with one excuse or another. I had errands ( like picking up a keg) to run and needed to come a little later than him, I need to be up early in the morning for an exercise class or to meet a friend.

It doesn't happen often though. I can stay up later than him in general, by he can deal with people for longer. Usually I just have to wait until he gets sleepy and then I can drag him home.

[stealthmom]

Aug 22, 2014 14:12:55 GMT -5 cville said:

My husband and I are the reverse.

We take separate cars. For real. Solved 50% of our marital issues.

yep. We are also reversed. He goes home and I get a cab or the bus when I'm done. Win win.

[Deleted]

Well that happened to me tonight. I tried the subtle cues a bunch of times.
Finally I text him and said "we need to go NOW. I'm on the verge of tears"
I saw him minutes later with all our crap and he said "okay let's go get (2yr old) and say goodbye" and I started crying and said "no I mean now, I'll be outside"

In my defense I had a C-Section last week and going to the family party tonight was too much for me and I was in SO much pain and so tired and the baby was just done too.

Usually if he's not getting subtle hints I will try the text thing or just start packing everything and then say "okay let's start saying bye....."

[dirtyred]

We drive separately or I don't go.

[auntie]

DH and I are the opposite.

I'm the party person and he's the introvert who'd rather be home. Socializing takes a lot out of him whereas I feel energized by it. Frankly, I sometimes used to resent the shit out of him whining to go home. Like why is his choice the default?

So now we take 2 cars to an event such as you are describing and each get exactly as much partytime as we want.