So irritated. Feel free to share your vent here.

[vanillacourage]

So, is it not accepted practice that one partner should talk to the other before inviting people over?  I am so pissed at my husband.  We have a pool and he knows that at this point in the swimming season I'm already totally over having people over to swim and our hospitality being taken advantage of (I've posted about this before).  Just last weekend we had 30+ people over for an end-of-summer pool party and while we had a lot of fun, it was a lot of fucking work and money.  My older son was whining earlier wanting to invite someone over to swim and my DH HEARD ME SAY "no, I want a break this weekend".

My inlaws (who are already on my shit list) call up and ask what we're doing and angle for an invite to swim, and my DH just invites them right over, as I'm frantically shaking my head on the couch next to him. 

When I asked him to please not fucking invite people over without checking in with me first he got all indignant and said I didn't have to participate.  So I think I will be heading to the mall here in a bit. 

[gibbinator]

Make sure "you don't have to participate" also includes cleanup. I'd be so annoyed.

[lime]

Oh hell no.

I would totally leave him alone with the kids and ILs.

[Booze Raccoon]

Go to the spa. Then treat yourself to dinner and a movie. Come home at 11pm after the mess has been cleaned up.

[dirtyred]

Ditto that "participating" includes clean up. Treat yourself to a movie.

[sjh722]

I would be super annoyed. Go away and don't come home until dark.

We are on our way to the beach party from hell. Friends are riding with us and everyone is snapping at each other. Both toddlers are screaming. My h is super cranky to the point I told at him at lunch that if he was going to mope, he may as well have stayed home.

[kcr1972]

After 5 yrs together bf dropped the bomb that he wants to seperate. The day before my birthday. It wasnt totally surprising but the timing sucks

[Deleted]

Aug 23, 2014 13:10:36 GMT -5 Booze Raccoon said:

Go to the spa. Then treat yourself to dinner and a movie. Come home at 11pm after the mess has been cleaned up.

YES!  And make sure it is crystal clear that H is in charge of that clean up!

[jlt19]

So, I should not be getting on 70W right now? I promised the kids a pool day today...

[vanillacourage]

Ok guys. He made me a Malibu and Coke, made me lunch and promised they'd only be here an hour or so. He can live another day.

[escrow]

My dh is a lazy ass when it comes to the lawn. We don't have a big yard by any means. Last weekend he cut half the backyard then it started raining (for like 5 minutes) so he quit. And never finished. It looks ridiculous. I'm going to do it myself.

[sparkythelawyer]

Aug 23, 2014 13:05:03 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

So, is it not accepted practice that one partner should talk to the other before inviting people over?  I am so pissed at my husband.  We have a pool and he knows that at this point in the swimming season I'm already totally over having people over to swim and our hospitality being taken advantage of (I've posted about this before).  Just last weekend we had 30+ people over for an end-of-summer pool party and while we had a lot of fun, it was a lot of fucking work and money.  My older son was whining earlier wanting to invite someone over to swim and my DH HEARD ME SAY "no, I want a break this weekend".

My inlaws (who are already on my shit list) call up and ask what we're doing and angle for an invite to swim, and my DH just invites them right over, as I'm frantically shaking my head on the couch next to him. 

When I asked him to please not fucking invite people over without checking in with me first he got all indignant and said I didn't have to participate.  So I think I will be heading to the mall here in a bit. 

What's that he said?  He wants you to go get a mani/pedi and then hit the mall for a few hours while he entertains his parents and cleans up afterwards?  OKAY!  :-)

[Kore]

Aug 23, 2014 13:17:54 GMT -5 kcr1972 said:

After 5 yrs together bf dropped the bomb that he wants to seperate. The day before my birthday. It wasnt totally surprising but the timing sucks

I'm sorry We've been having these conversations last night & today. Except I'm the initiator. It's very not fun.

Also, my fucking car started breaking down on the way home from work yesterday, and had to be towed to a mechanic. Fuck knows what's wrong.

[W.T.Faulkner]

Aug 23, 2014 13:31:10 GMT -5 Kore said:

Aug 23, 2014 13:17:54 GMT -5 kcr1972 said:

After 5 yrs together bf dropped the bomb that he wants to seperate. The day before my birthday. It wasnt totally surprising but the timing sucks

I'm sorry We've been having these conversations last night & today. Except I'm the initiator. It's very not fun.

Also, my fucking car started breaking down on the way home from work yesterday, and had to be towed to a mechanic. Fuck knows what's wrong.

So sorry for you both.

[BunnyMacDougal]

Aug 23, 2014 13:07:39 GMT -5 lime said:

Oh hell no.

I would totally leave him alone with the kids and ILs.

Yeah.  He invites, he plays host and cleans up.   If it were company you liked, I'd stay to swim and then leave for clean up.  But since you don't like them, go to a movie.

[Deleted]

Theo and I are both so miserable today. This is the worst cold I've had in a long time. Of course Sofia's all chipper and keeps asking me if she can put fake eyeshadow and lipstick on me. Doesn't matter if I say no, she does it anyway. My skin is on fire, stop touching me. I wish my h was home.

[vanillacourage]

Aug 23, 2014 13:55:07 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Aug 23, 2014 13:23:57 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

Ok guys. He made me a Malibu and Coke, made me lunch and promised they'd only be here an hour or so. He can live another day.

still, leave. Manipedi, movie, dinner out, alone. A ham sandwich is not enough. plus, what's he going to do if they don't leave in an hour?Tell him to call you when they've gone

He got out the grill to make angus burgers with aged cheddar cheese, with a caprese salad on the side (using homegrown tomatoes and basil). Still, point taken.

[Nonny]

My H made an appointment for the Sears repairman to come check out our fridge, and it's from 1-5 today. Only I'm the one stuck at home waiting for them so that he can go watch a friend fly model helicopters.

This is a friend from out of town that he never sees and it's some big event with lots of demos, so I wasn't going to ask him not to go, but I'm super annoyed that I'm the one staying home when I really hate dealing with repairmen.

[Deleted]

Aug 23, 2014 14:32:48 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

Aug 23, 2014 13:55:07 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

still, leave. Manipedi, movie, dinner out, alone. A ham sandwich is not enough. plus, what's he going to do if they don't leave in an hour?Tell him to call you when they've gone

He got out the grill to make angus burgers with aged cheddar cheese, with a caprese salad on the side (using homegrown tomatoes and basil). Still, point taken.

Aww. Now you're talkin'.  Is it too late to change my vote???

[sparkythelawyer]

I NEEEEEEED to do laundry today. But I don't waaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnaaaaaaaaa.

[05heel]

Aug 23, 2014 14:32:48 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

Aug 23, 2014 13:55:07 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

still, leave. Manipedi, movie, dinner out, alone. A ham sandwich is not enough. plus, what's he going to do if they don't leave in an hour?Tell him to call you when they've gone

He got out the grill to make angus burgers with aged cheddar cheese, with a caprese salad on the side (using homegrown tomatoes and basil). Still, point taken.

Tell him to make yours to go.  And not to forget the utensils and wetnap, biatch!  Tip him $1 for good measure.

[kcr1972]

Thanks for the thoughts everyone.

I cant stand seeing him right now so I am at a hotel with a big ass jacuzzi for the weekend. I tried so hard not break down when my daddy called earlier. He and my stepmom are so dissappointed as they adore him. I feel like such a failure. Strangely enough when my exh and i split in 2004 I was working for the same company I am now and we lost our beloved dog. T and buried our girl a month ago. Why does this keep happening?

[lime]

((kcr))

Are you two renting? Can you get out of the lease early and find a new place to live?

[miniroller]

Hope you're on you 2nd or 3rd rum & coke Vanilla & mustered up the courage (huh?! Like what I did there?) to be super chill & enjoy your day!
Eta: BAH- sorry, Sparky!! Somehow I mis-read & thought vanillacourage was the OP!! Negates all cleverness of my response & I'm dutifully shamed. Sorry!!!
pandora uhhhh... I'd be wearing cutoffs & a wife beater tank w/out a bra if that 'dress appropriately' shiz continues! (Unless that is what you normally where to dinners w/ your dad, in which case- re-evaluate!!! )

ETA2: Yeah. My bad. Sorry vanillacourage I don't know what was going on last night, but uh- I'm gonna blame the app?? My Cleverness Stands?

[cinnamoncox]

Aug 23, 2014 13:17:54 GMT -5 kcr1972 said:

After 5 yrs together bf dropped the bomb that he wants to seperate. The day before my birthday. It wasnt totally surprising but the timing sucks

Omg

I'm sorry. That sucks.

[sparkythelawyer]

Aug 23, 2014 15:03:22 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Aug 23, 2014 15:01:12 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

I NEEEEEEED to do laundry today. But I don't waaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnaaaaaaaaa.

for real you are expecting!?

For real!  February 12 is the anticipated arrival of Lil' Sparky :-)

[Deleted]

It's my birthday. Our wedding was last weekend and we leave for Europe next week, so the day got overshadowed. I didn't care too much about that, but I have a cold and the stepkids were total jerks this morning. They are fun awesome kids 90% of the time but they were overtired so every little thing was an issue. I didn't even need your A-game, kids! Just don't be freakin jerks! Be average! They're at their mom's now so I get to relax and sleep but I was so disappointed in them. The 12 year old is old enough to know better. She adores me so if I told her I was disappointed it would crush her, so I kept my mouth shut.

[sparkythelawyer]

Aug 23, 2014 15:43:14 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Aug 23, 2014 15:35:01 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

For real!  February 12 is the anticipated arrival of Lil' Sparky :-)

WOW!  Congratulations! 

Thanks friend!

[Booze Raccoon]

Aug 23, 2014 13:17:54 GMT -5 kcr1972 said:

After 5 yrs together bf dropped the bomb that he wants to seperate. The day before my birthday. It wasnt totally surprising but the timing sucks

 I'm sorry.  

[Deleted]

Fuck that. Spa day is in order for you.

My irritation - air travel. With my sister who won't stfu