Post by charmediamsure on Aug 25, 2014 22:02:57 GMT -5
I just don't even know how to process the range of emotions I've experienced in this thread.
I think I can count on one hand the amount of times H and I have had sex in the last year. I just have no desire and I'm busy and he is good enough about it not to push or make me feel bad about it. If he came to me and told me he wanted to find out if there was such a thing as good sex or that he wanted someone else for funsies I was be devestated. I would feel like absolute crap. And I can only imagine what that would do to my performance in any of our future encounters. Whether I had agreed to it or done so out of desperation would be neither here not there, I would be destroyed.
I'm just. I don't know. Maybe I just can't wrap my head around fixing the problem in one relationship by opening this kind of a can of worms.
My apologies if people get new likes for posts from 8 months ago. But I've got a lot of liking to do.
Lol! You read my mind.Â
Mine too! I'm so disappointed in myself for not having liked them the first go round. I damn near died at creamsiclechica "full circle bitches. Expensive lasagna."
Confession: some misguided parent at my child's school named their child El.ler.y and all I could think about was how badly she'll be teased using the word celery.
In other news, a parent in my child's class wore a rebel flag baseball cap and a shirt that said "who says beer can't make you smart? It made Bud Weiser". To OPEN HOUSE!!! I could not get a photo without his toothless wife in it.
Confession: some misguided parent at my child's school named their child El.ler.y and all I could think about was how badly she'll be teased using the word celery.
In other news, a parent in my child's class wore a rebel flag baseball cap and a shirt that said "who says beer can't make you smart? It made Bud Weiser". To OPEN HOUSE!!! I could not get a photo without his toothless wife in it.
1. My childhood best friend's sister's name is Ellery. My dad called her Hellery lol. She's a sweetheart... Now.
I am jealous of morning poos. I wish I was that regular.
Every morning at 8 am, like clockwork, my H goes into the bathroom to do his business. It pisses me off! I always end up needing to poop around the time I'm trying to get the girls ready and head out the door, so I have to put it off until I get to work.
I'm come flying into work like a bat out of hell for my morning poop.
I find the "I have to work an odd schedule" excuse to no counseling incredibly lame. You don't have to go to therapy at the same time every week. And you can at least go to one appt, but to bypass that aspect totally and go right to cheating is such a cop out. I feel like it shows you really just want sex, not to fix what's wrong in your relationship.
Ding ding ding.
Also, I would not judge having sex with someone else if agreed upon but you are choosing a co-worker who you are friends with and flirt with on Facebook for the whole world to see. That is not "just sex" and that is not the person you turn to for "just sex" when you are trying to deal with a medical issue your husband has.
Post by DesertMoon on Aug 25, 2014 23:03:42 GMT -5
I remember that thread, which is why I was confused about if this was new or not. If it hurt him in 2010, why wouldn't it hurt three kids later in 2014?
I just don't even know how to process the range of emotions I've experienced in this thread.
I think I can count on one hand the amount of times H and I have had sex in the last year. I just have no desire and I'm busy and he is good enough about it not to push or make me feel bad about it. If he came to me and told me he wanted to find out if there was such a thing as good sex or that he wanted someone else for funsies I was be devestated. I would feel like absolute crap. And I can only imagine what that would do to my performance in any of our future encounters. Whether I had agreed to it or done so out of desperation would be neither here not there, I would be destroyed.
I'm just. I don't know. Maybe I just can't wrap my head around fixing the problem in one relationship by opening this kind of a can of worms.
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This to me is different. If she's saying she has never been happy with her sex life with her H and he won't do anything about it even though he knows how important it is to her...I can see how resentment would be a real problem. If one partner is expressing their needs and the other one doesn't listen for 8 years, that is not okay.
Not saying that I think this is the right way to deal with it, but still.
Sure. But, presumably this was a problem for at least three years before they had kids. Why not address it at that point? I can't see staying long enough to have a family and then pulling this.
I do think in the immediate situation there's fault on C's side. Refusing to get help is ridiculous. But I don't know how it got so far that they're eight years and three kids down the road and now there are all these issues.
This to me is different. If she's saying she has never been happy with her sex life with her H and he won't do anything about it even though he knows how important it is to her...I can see how resentment would be a real problem. If one partner is expressing their needs and the other one doesn't listen for 8 years, that is not okay.
Not saying that I think this is the right way to deal with it, but still.
Sure. But, presumably this was a problem for at least three years before they had kids. Why not address it at that point? I can't see staying long enough to have a family and then pulling this.
I do think in the immediate situation there's fault on C's side. Refusing to get help is ridiculous. But I don't know how it got so far that they're eight years and three kids down the road and now there are all these issues.
Do you really believe that a man refused to get any help or assistance to please his wife after 8 years of her saying it's miserable? Do you really believe he doesn't care about her emotions or needs that much? Do you believe a woman who seems to be very interested in sex would tolerate bad sex for 8 yrs?
its all just soooooo...ugh
BOLOGNA (judge Judy's voice)
seeing the comment about how it's weak that the UOs become about food and poop just makes me take all this with a grain of salt as an attempt to spice up her boring night.
Sure. But, presumably this was a problem for at least three years before they had kids. Why not address it at that point? I can't see staying long enough to have a family and then pulling this.
I do think in the immediate situation there's fault on C's side. Refusing to get help is ridiculous. But I don't know how it got so far that they're eight years and three kids down the road and now there are all these issues.
Do you really believe that a man refused to get any help or assistance to please his wife after 8 years of her saying it's miserable? Do you really believe he doesn't care about her emotions or needs that much? Do you believe a woman who seems to be very interested in sex would tolerate bad sex for 8 yrs?
I mean...the alternative is to believe she's making this up. And I choose to believe that she wouldn't do that. Maybe that makes me naive, I don't know. I absolutely believe that relationships are about more than that and it can be hard to dismiss someone for sexual incompatibility when everything else is good.
Do you really believe that a man refused to get any help or assistance to please his wife after 8 years of her saying it's miserable? Do you really believe he doesn't care about her emotions or needs that much? Do you believe a woman who seems to be very interested in sex would tolerate bad sex for 8 yrs?
I mean...the alternative is to believe she's making this up. And I choose to believe that she wouldn't do that. Maybe that makes me naive, I don't know. I absolutely believe that relationships are about more than that and it can be hard to dismiss someone for sexual incompatibility when everything else is good.
She's made up things before, she's lied before, plenty. So...idk it's less far fetched than to believe this nonsense.
Sure. But, presumably this was a problem for at least three years before they had kids. Why not address it at that point? I can't see staying long enough to have a family and then pulling this.
I do think in the immediate situation there's fault on C's side. Refusing to get help is ridiculous. But I don't know how it got so far that they're eight years and three kids down the road and now there are all these issues.
Things build up over time, imo. Resentment is cumulative. Probably a good reminder to work on communicating and dealing with issues head on, though, rather than avoiding them.
Absolutely. My H and I are terrible and communicating directly and it's something we work very hard on. But I blow up after a month or two, not eight years. I try to overcome problems for maybe a year or two and then I walk.
Can we perhaps also discuss this poor fuck who is on the receiving end of the hall pass?
A current colleague who happens to be married to your former co worker approaches you and says she has a hall pass and you're "it". You: a) don't wanna touch that situation with a 10ft poll and walk away, or b) decide you're gonna be THAT guy.